Confused ideas around you

A friend and I are watching Ken Burns’ Jazz on Netflix, which is a good way to get into discussions of history. This, in turn, is a good way to expose confused ideas about history.

For example, she wondered about why that one guy gave the Nazis Swaziland instead of going to war right away. Now, there are a number of reasons why Chamberlain gave the Nazis as many chances as he did, but a small country near South Africa was not one of the things he gave them. (It was the Sudetenland, instead.)

A day or so later, when we’d gotten to the point where the Nazi government was giving American jazz musicians in Europe the cold shoulder in 1939, she wondered why ‘hotsy-totsy’ was an insult when, after all, they were the Hottentots. The Germans. People from Hamburg were called Hottentots. Right?

No, the word ‘Hottentot’ never referred to people from Hamburg, unless there’s a Hamburg in or near South Africa, and you probably shouldn’t be using that word anyway.

I have seen parts of Ken Burn’s Jazz and you just confused me badly as well.

Although as it turned out, Chamberlain was pretty accommodating and Hitler was probably kicking himself when he got back to Berlin for not at least asking if Swaziland was on the table.

Right; he probably could have gotten any number of countries the names of which fit into the general ‘S-land’ pattern. The missed opportunity would haunt him later in the war.

Hey, honest mistake, both start with “S” and end with “-land”. I’ll give her that one.

Now, that’s just ig’n’nt.

See, this is the real reason why the Nazis never invaded Switzerland. It wasn’t all the Swiss guns, or the Alps, or the Nazi bigwigs not wanting to disrupt the Swiss banking industry where their secret accounts were stashed. The real reason was that Hitler got confused, and when the Wehrmacht generals came in with the invasion plans, he was all “:confused: WTF, dude? Invade Switzerland?!? How are we even going to get there–it’s all the way down there at the other end of Africa!!!” And of course no one dared point out the Fuehrer’s mistake.

Yeah, everyone knows that the residents of Hamburg are known as Hamburglars. And they’re noted for their striped shirts and bright red gloves and neckties as well as their eccentric habit of wearing domino eyemasks.

The best part was they’d just have to paint over the S\ on the signs and they could’ve called the place Naziland.