I’m not sure if this is the right forum for this question, so please let me know if it’s not!
I took my 13-year-old son to the optometrist today for his first contact lens fitting. I’d like to know whether I’m being unrealistic in expecting that the optometrist would sit with my son when he is first learning to put a contact lens in his eye, until he succeeds in getting it in.
At the fitting, the optometrist first put the trial pair of contacts in my son’s eyes, and then had my son take them out. She then told him how to put the contacts in himself, and had him try it. He was not successful. The optometrist told him to keep trying, and left the room. My son spent at least an hour trying, and then finally gave up for the day. During that hour, the optometrist would flit in and out of the room every so often, watch my son make a couple tries, and give him some pointers on what he was doing wrong and how he should be doing it. Altogether, I don’t think she spent more than five minutes out of that hour in the room with my son. It was a very frustrating experience for my son, and he was very discouraged about not being able to get the lens in his eye, no matter how hard he tried.
At the end, the optometrist came in and suggested that we come back in a couple days so my son could continue to “practice” putting the lens in. She said she would try to have a technician spend some time with my son. It was clear, though, that the technician would similarly just be in and out of the room offering pointers, and that no one would actually sit with my son until he got the lens in. I’m thinking, this is not going to work.
So, am I being unreasonable in wanting someone to sit with my son and help him until he succeeds in getting the contact lens in his eye? I think someone who knows what they’re doing needs to watch him and tell him what he’s doing wrong, and just generally provide more guidance. For all I know, though, the way this optometrist handled the training is standard practice, and I just have to lower my expectations. It may be that my son will have to give up on this.
This should probably be in IMHO but I’m sure one of the mods will move if they think it needs to be there.
IMHO that is a difficult skill to teach at best. I didn’t get that much instruction when I first got contacts and had to practice on my own when I tried it solo the first time. I’m not sure if anyone could have instructed me to make it any easier than it was but by the time I got the hang of it I was okay. Well except for getting the lens on the side of my eyeball or grabbing my cornea when the lens was already out :eek: :smack:
What is causing such incredible difficulties? The first little while with contacts is defintely not easy, but, as long as the lens is sitting on your finger, curved towards your eye (not inverted on the finger), and you open your eye and place it on the eyeball, it should go in. Was he not moistening the contact with solution enough?
I understand that you are frustrated, and expected the personal treatment, and that’s not unreasonable. That said, I think it is unreasonable to think that an optometrist with other patients and other work that has to get done would spend an hour with someone who is having unusual difficulty with new contacts. I mean, if you were the next patient, would you understand that your appointment will be delayed by an hour because someone can’t put their contact in?
I assume by the fact that you were not able to give instruction that you do not wear contacts. Let your son know that it WILL get easier. After a little while, I got to the point where I don’t ever use a mirror, and I can plop both contacts in both eyes in less than 5 seconds…keep at it! One of the keys is to make sure he’s looking forward, not up or down…just look at the lens as it goes in.
I can see (no pun intended!) that expecting the optometrist to spend an hour with my son would be unreasonable. But she never spent more than one minute at a time with him, and no more than five minutes total. I guess I think it would have been more helpful if she had stayed with him for at least ten or fifteen minutes straight. If he did not get it right then, I could see her asking him to come back another time.
FWIW, she did not appear to have other patients waiting. I could see her in her office across the hall, and just generally running around. I assume that whatever she was doing was work-related, but I don’t think we were holding up other patients. (Although that does seem strange, now that I think about it, that she did not have other patients scheduled after my son.)
I did ask her if we could just take the contacts home with us so that my son could try again in his own home, with guidance from my husband (who wore contacts for years, until he had the eye surgery that corrects near-sightedness), but she said she did not allow that. So, we have to come back on Thursday to try again.
My husband confirms what you said, which is that once you get the hang of contacts, it’s very easy. On the other hand, he recalls that initially, it was pretty difficult. I’m not sure what my son’s problem was, although the optometrist (on her brief visits!) did say that the lens was getting caught on his eyelid. I think he was having trouble holding his eyelids open far enough. (His lens are soft, so they are sort of big – I think it might be easier with hard contacts, which are smaller, but that’s not what the optometrist prescribed.)
Anyway, thanks for your comments, Padeye and Jman. It’s good to hear that it does get easier!
There might be some encouraging information and advice in that thread that might help. Here’s my post from the thread (bolding to emphasize how long it took to put in my contacts for the first time):
I’m really not kidding about the “more than an hour part”. The optometrist’s aide was sitting with me the entire time giving me pointers and encouraging me not to give up. Maybe you can talk the technician or someone else familiar with inserting contacts into staying with your son until he gets the hang of it.
I’ve been wearing contacts forever (since 1978!) – but I remember it taking a long time. It’s completely unnatural to be poking at your eyes like that, and it takes a while to be able to overcome your blink reflex. And that’s something your son will just have to do – really, there’s nothing other than coming through and offering comments that the doctor (or any staff member) could do.
I blink a lot and very fast and also have mondo problems with eye drops. But I learned to put my contacts lenses in. What I do is physically hold open my eye with my fingers so I can’t inadvertantly blink. I think I probably even hold it open even wider than I would without the fingers so there’s plenty of room to put in the contact.
Complete method:
Moisten contact lens and put on tip of right index finger.
Hold open upper eyelid with left hand.
Bring right hand to face and with the right middle finger, hold down the lower lid.
Now your right index finger is right in position to pop the lens in. Make sure you’re staring straight ahead at the mirror so you can pop it over the iris.
Hope that helps. I’ve never been able to put in my contacts (both hard and soft) any other way.
When I first started wearing contacts, I had to set aside 20-45 minutes in the morning so that I could actually get them in my eyes. If I didn’t succeed before it was time to go to school, I just left them out (my eyesight was good enough back then to get along). Over the months it kept getting easier and taking less time. Now it usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but I well remember how long it used to take and how much it sucked.
It just takes practice to make it feel natural, and it takes a long time before it feels natural.
When I first got contacts, the doctor wouldn’t even write the script without an hour appt with a tech to teach me how to put them in and take them out. And not just wondering in and out, but sitting right there in front of me explaining exactly what to do. I don’t know if you wear contacts or not, but if you don’t here’s somethings worth mentioning. I was one of those people who had a LOT of problems at first. For the first week or so I set my alarm about 45 mins earlier so I’d have extra time to get them in (and I used it). The skin around my eye would be raw by the time I was done from all the attempts. It does take time, not only does it take time to learn (for some people, not all). But those first few weeks, it does feel like a piece of plastic on your eye all day and takes some getting used to, so even if they are in right, they might not feel like it, which makes you want to take them out and try again. (BTW you learn quickly that even if they don’t feel right, they tend to settle in after a few minutes). Also, did they have him using a mirror. I needed a mirror for quite a while. Now I can do it in the dark with my eyes closed (okay, not with my eyes closed, or in the dark, but I don’t need a mirror).
So to wrap it all up. For some people (like your son) it just takes time and practice. And one thing to remember is, even if you have the technique down, it’s still a very awkered thing to do and it will feel very strange at first. So on top of time and practice there’s also just plain getting used to it.
Upon preview (I didn’t read all the posts before I started typing). I see that your husband wears contacts, so I assuming you and your son are talking to him about pointers, so I won’t ask if you need anymore. But I do see that the dr said they were getting caught on his eyelid. I don’t know how he was taught to hold his eye open, but the way I was taught was to use the hand holding the lens to pull the bottome eyelid down and reach over the top of my head with the other hand. Of course alot of it has to do with just kind of letting go/surrendering/giving up/relaxing… call it what you want, but you’re eye is going to do it’s best to keep a piece of plastic from getting stuck to it, so you have to fight that reaction.
Joey P’s (not so) secret method for getting eye drops in (I can’t just drop them right on my eyes). Tilt head all the way back, close eyes, place eye drop on corner of eye next to nose, open eyes and let the drops fall in.
It does take practice at first and relies heavily on being able to see what your doing. Make sure the mirror is brightly lit and it’s one of those concave enlarging mirrors.
Chances are he’s not getting his eye opened wide enough and the contact is hitting his eye lashes.
I remember my first time (sigh)… It took me about 20 mins, and I had a technician sitting beside me explaining what I might be doing wrong and giving suggestions. Turns out I was actually pressing on my eye too hard w/the lens so it wasn’t staying on my eyeball. Once she told me that, I got it on my first try. You should just be able to hold it up to the eyeball very gently and it will stick (that’s how it is with my eyes anyway). Then to get it to stay on, I’ll move my eyes back and forth a couple times, blink, and ta-da! They’re in! If I were you, I’d consider going to another optometrist. Someone should’ve been there helping him (a technician, at least!), and it might not have taken an hour. It also seems a little weird that they wouldn’t let you take the contacts home to practice. Obviously they’re not very concerned about supervising him while he puts them in, so what’s the big deal? Anyway, good luck to your son.
If he has trouble putting them directly on the eye, then you might get him to try what I do – look up and put the contact on the white of the eye, a little to the side. Then let it slide up over the cornea.
I had lots of trouble when I first got them, too – and was trying to use two hands, to hold the lower eyelid down and the eyelashes up. Turns out that all I need to do is use one hand, middle finger holding eyelid down, index finger putting the soft lens on the white of the eye.
To get them out, I catch the edge, pull it off the cornea over to the white, and then pull it off. Reason – you can touch the white of the eye without feeling it. No discomfort at all.
Eyedrops – rather than the whole tilt-the-head-back-and-hope-you’re-aiming-right method… I just make a little pocket in the lower eyelid by pulling it down a little. Squeeze the eyedrop into the “pocket” of the eyelid – the drop doesn’t actually have to fall and hit the eye that way (no feeling of something coming at you!).
When I first got my contacts, the secretary sat with me for a few minutes, gently instructing me. I got them in once, and I took them out once, and she told me to continue practicing this at home, gave the regular instructions (how long to wear them the first while, cleaning instructions, when to come back in, etc). She was only with me for that few minutes, and then she sent me home. I was 15. Younger kids told me they stayed there longer than I did, but no one spent any more than a few minutes with them. That’s the thing, there’s really not much to teach. It takes patience and practice, supervision doesn’t seem to be a requirement. It is frustrating at first, like any new thing, but it gets better. (heck, I can do it without a mirror these days.)
This is only MHO, of course, YMMV. Tell your son good luck, and he will get used to it, in time. Being frustrated with new contacts is not at all uncommon.
When I first got contacts (hard), I really struggled with them. Once I got them in, they let me go without having me take them out on my own. We wound up having to go to the ER in the night to have them taken out. :smack:
It’s too bad that your optometrist doesn’t have a technician who can spend the time with your son. I’ve worn contact for more than 15 years (soft now, which I much prefer) and it does get much easier.
Just a WAG, but your son may be getting nervous and blinking as he gets the contact near his eye. This is a natural reflex which protects the eye, and needs to be overcome.
Although you don’t have the actual contact to practice with, you can try having him go through the motions. Have him try to put his finger as close to his eyeball as he can WITHOUT touching the eyeball. If he can get used to having the finger directly in front of his eye for several seconds, he may relax more during the actual try.
Also, I don’t know if I’d have him try for an hour again. It’s going to wear him out.
If they won’t let him take the contacts home, consider buying a pair of cosmetic lenses (like those ones that look like cat-eyes) at Hot Topic so he can practice at home. No rule against that.
I had major problems with hard lenses when I first got them, not so much with getting them in as with keeping them in; my prescription is really high so the contacts were really warped and kept falling out and cutting my eyes. Soft, though, should be a breeze. One thing to keep in mind: make sure he’s gripping his top lid underneath the eyelashes, otherwise the contact might bump against them. And also make sure there’s not too much saline, it could be spilling out into his eye before he gets it in, making him flinch. I usually fill mine up about two-thirds of the way. Also, don’t make him try for an hour; if his eyes have been tearing up then he won’t be able to get them in anyway, his eyes will be too puffy. Also make sure he keeps his fingernails clipped because it’s pretty easy to jab your nail into your eye when you’re learning and you don’t want him to cut himself.
It really does get easier; I think it takes me maybe five seconds to put my contacts in now. Then again I’ve been doing it for over a decade.
I’ve made numerous trips to the eye doctor to try and conquer contacts, and so far, no luck. Can’t seem to get my eye open wide enough for long enough…my flinch factor is very high. The first few times the technician sat there the whole session giving advice and hints. But after a while, I knew what I had to do and was more self-conscious wth someone sitting there saying “too high…almost…keep it open” so now they just get me started and check in on me every few minutes. The counter is right there in the middle of the room,so they are never far away.
My daughter is thirteen and had the same problem. The doctor finally told us her eyes just weren’t big enough yet.
We found a doctor who would give us a trial pair to take home, and she did finally master it. She then decided it wasn’t worth the hassle!
At 39 y-o now, I’ve been a master of contacts for 25 years. I remember, though, hating the things with a bloody passion when I first got them. I was 13, in junior high and my mom would drive me to school. I’d put in the lenses in the morning, and the moment she drove off, out they came and the glasses went back on. Frankly…they HURT. It takes quite a bit to get used to that feeling. Hubby recently tried some contacts @ optometrists office and decided against them because he was unable to get them in.
I think that the earlier they become part of your cosmetic routine (I also look kinda geeky in glasses) the easier the adaptation is.
Just keep at it. If your kid is in any way self-conscious about the glasses, contacts are definitely the way to go. My parents offered to pay for laser surgery, anytime I want it, and I’m just not ready. I’m perfectly happy with my contacts, and I’m blind as a bat!
