Yet somehow, it isn’t.
:walks away, shaking head:
I was so hoping the article would mention the floor mat brand name.
Just how does that happen?
Do pigs eat bologna? Do they get the crusts cut off of their sandwiches, too? Do the cows get mad if Mama Pig packs them milk in their lunchbox?
Do they socialize with it at [del]school[/del] farm dances & sneak off behind the barn when the [del]teacher[/del] farmer isn’t looking? Don’t they know to use a lambskin for protection?
Band name!
227 lbs? Damn! That’s a lot of bologna!
Do they allow small amounts for personal consumption? I’m sure that was all just for personal consumption, right?
One of my good friends is married to an Italian. As in, grew up in Italy. Not someone whose great-grand parents came to the US from Italy. Anyway, the last time they were over there, they “smuggled” some of the real stuff back in their luggage (I don’t know what the stuff was actually called, but it was something like a salami). I say smuggled because apparently the process they’ve been using there for thousands of years isn’t good enough to meet the high standards of the US. Something about not being cooked or whatever. Anyway, I had some when I was over at their house and it was out of this world good. And I didn’t even die or anything!!
The official story is that it’s to prevent diseases from entering the United States.
Unofficially, American livestock producers prefer it when they don’t have to compete with foreign livestock producers. But they can’t prohibit foreign meat from entering the country because of free trade agreements. However there’s a loophole - the United States can’t prohibit foreign meat from entering the country because of commercial considerations but they can prohibit foreign meat from entering the country if they cite a health concern.
The result is the American government sets a really low standard on what constitutes a health hazard when it comes to importing meat that would otherwise be competing with American meat.
No they do not. We had a 4 oz packet of ham confiscated at the US border when returning from Mexico. They’re serious about the possible disease issue but I have no idea how this particular disease is transmitted since the ham we had had been cured and cooked and packaged in a sealed packet. Huh. Who knew?
Are you sure it was cured, or was it just feeling better ? 
This is the first occasion I’ve encountered where the phrase, “Hide the Baloney” is legitimate.
Not to be confused with counterfeit bologna, a.k.a. phoney baloney.
Nice!
Some people lead lives that I truly cannot comprehend.
Let’s not forget Faux Scrapple.
Would they have allowed you to eat the ham there on the spot before entering?
The closest experience I had along these lines was in driving from Oregon into California. They stopped me at the border, where I confessed that I had an apple, which they said I could not bring in. I asked if I could pull into a nearby parking area and eat the apple on the spot. They let me do that.
So you smuggled an apple in your digestive tract?! :eek:
Yes I did that. But I did it openly, right in front of the border guard, and he was okay with that. That little $50 note I slipped him may have been helpful. I’d have hated to let that apple go to waste.
Apparently it’s only really the apple core that’s contraband. I had to leave that behind in a nearby trash can.
*Apple core…
Baltimore…
Who’s your friend…?
…
Border guard.