Contractions in story writing.

[Polycarp]

@BigT

The Passive Voice Should Be Avoided, Right?

Using “to be” is not proof of the passive voice.

Of course not – and there’s nothing inhereently evil with the passive, used sparingly and to proper effect. It’s merely that both copulas and passive-voice sentences are generally signs of relatively weak writing when used otherthan in extreme moderation. And the common property of copulas and the passive is that they share use of “to be” (or its conjugated forms).

[constanze]

@Exapno_Mapcase

The passive voice is a problem for fiction because it distances and it lies flat on the page. There are many times when it is the right choice, but many more when it is the wrong choice. If you’re getting consistently flagged take it a sign. When I workshop stories by amateurs I often find that I get so bored by a story that I don’t want to turn to page 2. When that happened I go back with a red pen. It is remarkable how often I wind up circling an “is” in every single sentence in the long opening block of description.

First, thanks for a good description and advice.

Second, if I may, a hijack: in certain scenes, I want to use the passive voice to describe the characters feeling that things are happening to him, or not reveal who’s observing what’s going on, that kind of thing. Is the passive voice correct for these instances, or should I avoid it?

[constanze]

@Polycarp

I hope that all was useful.

Yes, thank you, very insightful.

Narrating Dialogue: There are two complementary faults here: Tom Swift and minimalism. Trust me, the repetitiveness of “___ said” is far more apparent to the author than to the reader. To be sure, vary it by the occasional “replied”, “answered,” “added”, etc., and the occasional adverb – but don’t go out of your way looking for synonyms for good old “to say”. In AD 2011 “‘Oh God, I’m coming!’ he ejaculated” is the only place you should use that verb to describe speech, and that for the humor value. Likewise, adverbs describing speech are like flowering shrubs: a few make the setting more attractive; go beyond that and you look like Passionate Purple Prose. But on the other hand, give your readers clues as to who is speaking, either by “Sam said”/“Beth responded” or by naming the speaker in narration. “Henry jumped to his feet. ‘You’re wrong – and I can prove it!’”/"‘I wouldn’t call him too wild, exactly.’ Michelle blushed and turned away from her aunt." No question who’s speaking in either case, because you’ve named the speaker by describing his/her accompanying action. “That’s a very good idea, son.” Since you only have one father-son combo in the scene, and the mother is elsewhere, it’s obvious that it’s Jack talking to Ryan; no “he said” needed. But avoid long stretches of dialogue paragraphs with no clue who’s speaking – even if it’s obvious, the reader loses track. Even if it’s Jack and Ryan having a private father-son chat, throw the reader a clue who’s speaking every third short paragraph or so – and virtually every long one. It can be subtle – “Dad”/'When I was 12"/“After school, I…” but something typing speech to speaker is needed to avoid losing track of who’s saying what.

I strongly agree, though only from a laymen’s perspective. I noticed this advice on several different “tips on writing for bad fiction writers” essays on the Internet, and when I went and looked at some of my favourite, successful fiction authors, like J.K. Rowling and Terry Pratchett, it’s quite true: many times, no verbs at all, you recognize who says what by their special style; next up, variations of “he said/ Carrot said”. Synonyms for “said” were very rare, usually, it was shouting, whispering etc. that were really different from “speaking” (And even then, ALL CAPS is shouting without additional info).

[Loopus]

@constanze

I strongly agree, though only from a laymen’s perspective. I noticed this advice on several different “tips on writing for bad fiction writers” essays on the Internet, and when I went and looked at some of my favourite, successful fiction authors, like J.K. Rowling and Terry Pratchett, it’s quite true: many times, no verbs at all, you recognize who says what by their special style; next up, variations of “he said/ Carrot said”. Synonyms for “said” were very rare, usually, it was shouting, whispering etc. that were really different from “speaking” (And even then, ALL CAPS is shouting without additional info).

I think synonyms for “said” stand out much more strongly than repetitions of “said.” And 99% of the time, there’s no reason for it. Why would anyone right “Tom replied”? Of course he’s replying; that’s obvious in the order of the dialogue. (Unless of course what he’s replying to is implied rather than stated.) I see dialogue attributions as a simple tool for a specific purpose, and I don’t try to turn them into works of art anymore than I would a hammer.

[asharksrevenge]

I am a professional writer (in academe), and this is my take on these hot-button issues that my colleagues often discuss. In formal writing, you should never use contractions. Contractions are simply a shortcut, and they make your professional work look sloppy and poorly edited. In less formal work or when using dialogue, contractions are acceptable, and they would be nearly necessary if you are writing in a dialect or when using slang.

The issues surrounding passive voice and “to be” you can thank Strunk and White’s Elements of Style (1918) for. This outdated, hypocritical text has created panic attacks for generations of students who worry–in my opinion needlessly–over a style manual that was obsolete and redundant nearly as soon as it was printed. There’s a great article from the Chronicle of Higher Education, let me see if I can find it: http://chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-Grammar/25497 I got a kick out of a couple of years back that might help to clear up some of these grammatical issues.