Convince me to stop smoking!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

I’m not going to sum up the book for you, because part of the process is in the reading of the book.

having said that…

  1. Why would you make a remark like that when it was first brought up by me as something I personally experienced to be extraordinarily effective against a previously believed impossible to overcome addiction? In other words, your remark would be understandable if I were just sharing hype, but I’m not.

  2. This book is almost entirely different than everything we’ve all heard before, that’s the point. His approach is completely different from the approach taken by any other stop smoking system I’ve ever encountered, and it starts with the fact that it completely rejects the conventional wisdom in pretty much every respect, such as thinking it’s hard, you need to grit your teeth to bear it, you need to find a substitute, it’s best to stop slowly, and so on. In fact, think of every thing you think you have heard or know about the experience of quitting smoking and I am fairly sure Carr’s view is: bollocks. Lies. All lies.

Now, having said THAT, I will modify my own cheerleading with this much more detail about my experience.

The day I quit, while I knew for sure I would never again let a cigarette touch my lips, it wasn’t completely painless. Since I also gave up coffee simultaneously (it was a trigger for me… I went back eventually) I pretty much slept for about two days. I knew I would, which is why I planned to quit on a weekend so I could crash.

Secondly, of course I craved smoking at first. I was an addict, that’s the point. But I wasn’t even slightly tempted to give in to the craving because all the bullshit I had previously bought into to let myself give in had been blown apart.

Thirdly, the hardest part, the longest, was the hand-mouth habit. I did substitute sunflower seeds in the shell for while to help with that, and for the first couple of weeks I liked having a straw sometimes to hold in my mouth.

But there was never a moment when I was anywhere close to relapsing. NEVER. And that was my own personal miracle, one I am actively grateful for all the time, even ten years later.

Before I read the book and quit, the thing I wanted was to find a way to go back to being the person I was before I started, which was someone who never thought about smoking, never wanted it, never missed it, never craved it. That person existed before I began smoking, but the smoking created an addict that obscured that person. Allan Carr helped me kill the addict and be the person I was before the addict took over, he didn’t give me some hopeless and weak “tools” to manage an addiction I still bought into believing was beyond me to overcome.

There’s a lot of ex-smokers who are similar to what they call in AA “dry drunks” - they aren’t using, but it’s white-knuckle daily struggle not to, because they want it every minute of the day. That’s what it was like for me every other time I had tried to quit - hell, because it took everything I had to keep myself from smoking. I knew I could never do that. The only way I was going really quit and STAY quit was to become a happy non-smoker. And that’s what I am, and what I’ve been since the day I quit.

If you’re a smoker, and you want what I wanted… read the book.

62

I agree…but with reservations. As I just posted, it wasn’t painless, but it was easy. A strange distinction, but a real one.

63

One more thing, and this is particular to me.

Quitting smoking is the thing that first revealed my ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). The day I quit smoking was the day I stopped being able to read fiction, after a lifetime of 1-5 novels a month. It turns out I had used nicotine to self-medicate my ADD, unknowingly.

It was five more years before my official diagnosis, and I’ve been using pharmaceutical stimulants in the five years since then. But nothing I’ve used has brought back my ability to read fiction (or non-fiction in any linear way), which is a huge loss for me. It’s also a huge indicator that no other stimulant works as well for me in general.

I talked to my shrink about trying the nicotine patch and he was supportive, he said about 10% of people with ADD find nicotine unusually effective.

But I just can’t bring myself to try it - I’m terrified of reviving the addict. Even though nicotine is not a great thing in any form, smoking it is like smoking crack or meth: WAY more effective. And I am terrified that a patch will trigger the smoker, and I cannot go back to smoking.

So I even have a hugely compelling and legitimate reason to want to smoke, the best excuse in the world. But it’s not worth it. NEVER again.

64

Started reading. We’ll see how it goes. I am open to anything which makes it easy! Especially if it gets rid of the desire to pick it up again as that is where I fell down last time.

Oh, and Scotty Mo, if you ain’t been there and done that, then you don’t really have much to contribute to this thread. If you read my OP, I asked for ex-smokers to give me a hand here, not non-smokers to give their uninformed opinions on matters they could not possibly understand. Walk a mile in a man’s shoes and all that.

65

Well, I am not an actual Doctor so I certainly could not comment on any medical treatments, but yeah, I could definitely see why you would be reluctant to use nicotine as a medication. Who wants to get back on that train? There must be a better way!

66

Titling the thread Convince me to stop smoking! is pretty much trolling for unhelpful comments.

BigT (above) is correct; not only is it true that people who have never been addicted to nicotine do not have a clue what it takes to break that addiction, what many people (including some former smokers) do not grasp is that we are not all the same.

Each person is different, and the way individuals react to nicotine is different. The fact that some people can quit cold turkey and not have too bad a time of it does not prove that everyone can do it. Everyone is different. Brain chemistry and psychology differ in individuals, and it’s been my experience that what’s easy for some is incredibly difficult for others.

There is no valid value judgement here: someone who gives up first time and with willpower alone is not a better and tougher person than someone who struggles with it and (perhaps) fails. Different. Not better or worse.

In my experience - which is as a chronic smoker who has had a lifelong struggle with mental illness - nicotine affects different people very differently. It certainly does make it much harder for some individuals to stop than it does for others. Most of the people I know who have been affected by serious mental illnesses are smokers; nicotine helps a lot with the symptoms of mental illness, whether severe or slight.

I have, after decades of being helplessly addicted to nicotine, weaned myself off smoking with the help of nicotine lozenges. I haven’t smoked for months, and for months before that I cut down to a few a day, and then one a day, and finally none.

Trying to stop cold turkey always caused me to have a mental breakdown and end up in as bad a state, psychologically, as it gets. Smoking would relieve the symptoms and bring me back to normal. (Or as close to “normal” as I ever get.) Smoking (or not) wasn’t the only thing that helped (or hurt) but nicotine was always a great comfort and always helped with my symptoms.

I wasn’t able to “just say no”. With a great deal of effort, I have managed to stop. I struggle with it every day, and I may have to struggle with it every day for the rest of my life. I expect to be on the lozenges for a long time. Possibly forever - it’s a price that I might have to pay. I’m attempting to wean myself off them, but it’s all baby steps. I have accepted that it will be a long term process, that there is no easy solution, and that the experiences of others does not say anything useful about me, because I am me and not anyone else.

So, yeah, I have a lot of sympathy for anyone struggling with nicotine addiction. And no sympathy at all for people - former smokers or not - who lack a real understanding of exactly how difficult it is for some people to stop.

I struggle with it every day, but I’ve been getting some good support. My one bit of advice here for the OP (and anyone else trying to stop) is that the desire to stop is the most important thing. I find that when I am most tempted - when I’m at a pub drinking beer, and friends are smoking in front of me, for instance - the thought that I keep in my head is that I want to be a non-smoker more than I want to have a cigarette right now.

I’m a nicotine addict. I can’t have “just one”. It will make me feel better for a little while, and then I’ll want another one. I have to stop. I want to be a non-smoker. I really really want to stop. Now, not later. Resisting the urge is more important to me than a few minutes of relief. If you’re more interested in the temporary relief of your addiction than in permanently ending it, you’ll probably fail. You have to do it the hard way.

It is possible. I don’t hold with the notion that “If I can do it, anyone can” but I also don’t believe it’s impossible for anyone. Very difficult for some, but not impossible.

67

First: Kudos for the progress you’ve made. I feel you.

Second: Please read the book. You are the PERFECT candidate who can be helped by what Carr has to say. Seriously. Judging from what you say here and what I know Carr says, and what others have said about their experience, there is a very high probability that the lingering struggle and pain you have can be eliminated entirely. You are more than halfway to freedom, you can go the distance with the right guidance.

I wish you the best.

68

Just to reiterate: a lot of people think what works for them will work for everyone.

I disagree. I think you have to take individuality into account. There is no one-size-fits-all solution.

69

This. I quit 8 1/2 years ago and this was the one truth that kept me sane. Nicotine, being a stimulant, does not calm your stress. What calms your stress when you light up is that you are taking a loooooong, deeeeep breath in, holding it for several seconds, then sloooooooooooowly releasing it.

That’s just plain and simple deep breathing exercises that can quite easily be done without ingesting carcinogens at the same time.

In the beginning, I had to hold my fingers up to my lips as if I had a cigarette in them when I did the deep breathing thing, but eventually you just forget to do that and move on.

DEEP BREATHING!

It did nothing for me, but if it helps, then it can only be a good thing. At worst, it’s only about the cost of a couple packs of smokes.

Congratulations and best of luck to you.

You can track your success by downloading the “smober” meter at silkquit.org. It’s kind of fun to see how much life expectancy you’ve gained and how much money you’ve saved.

[sub]My father-in-law died this morning from lung cancer after being a heavy smoker for his entire adult life. Don’t do this to your family. Please. [/sub]

70

Thank you. I don’t respond well to self-help, though.

71

I smoked at least 2 packs a day for 42 years. I quit with Chantix - which I never believed would actually work, until it did. I took it for only 6 weeks. I used to get heart palpitations every night and went through 2 Primatine inhalers a month so I could breathe. I no longer have the palpitations and I haven’t needed the Primatine since the day I quit. Those are the good things. I did notice that my gums and nose bled at first - probably because they were getting their first healthy doses of a blood supply in 40 years! But that went away quickly. I did gain quite a bit of weight. I’m starting to work on taking it off now, but it’s hard to have no vices at all :). Right before I quit smoking I had to have surgery for a Warthin’s Tumor - (A benign tumor of the salivary gland that is 8 times more common among smokers.) When I was in the recovery room, they had a nurse sitting there waking me up to breathe because I wasn’t getting enough oxygen and the alarm kept going off.

Like I said, I never thought I could quit, but I did. I know I can’t ever have one puff because I could go back to two packs a day tomorrow, if I let myself. But - So far So Good!

I have been quit for 1 Year, 8 Months, 2 Weeks, 21 hours, 16 minutes and 37 seconds (624 days). I have saved $2,544.17 by not smoking 24,995 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days, 18 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/14/2009 10:35 PM

And I know everyone always says this - but IF I CAN DO, ANYONE CAN. Of course, when I say it it’s true. (HA).

Now if I can just quit eating the carbs…

72

Rock on, Doc. You can do this. And it is a GOOD thing!

73

I’m jonesing for a good cigar as I write this so I can understand what cigheads go through. I’m also dealing with the onset of arthritis and I’m happy if my BP is 140/95.

If I could show you pictures of my classmates from 35 years ago and today you would have zero problem picking out the smokers (the ones still alive). The difference is tremendous. Looking like a tired 65 year old when you’re 50 isn’t just a visual thing. The health problems are there too.

74

Altoids and Pellegrino water, seriously. When you get to that moment when you really are thinking of having an actual smoke put an altoid in your mouth and sip a bubbly water.
The mint and the bubbles do their little dance in the back of your throat (in the same way that your first smoke did way back when) and it will give you a big enough ahhh to move forward and stay quit.

Also remember that nic fits go away even if you don’t smoke. Sometimes it takes five minutes and sometimes it takes an hour but they do go away all by themselves if you give them the chance.

Good luck!

75

Deep breathing is definitely great for stress and calming.

But, FTR, what calms your stress when you smoke is getting the drug you are addicted to and jonesing for, not the way you ingest it.

76

Hi Doctor, I’m fairly new to SD. How are you doing today? Yep, it’s a tough thing to do, but it can be done. I smoked for 16 years - age 14-30. In 1993 I went to a X-mas party at a friends house. There were 2 little 5 year old boys running around. The air was thick with smoke from cigs and other things. I heard one of them say to the other “let’s crawl like snakes on the floor, hey look, it’s less smokey down here…” I put my cig out, and quit that night. I had tried many times before, but something about this time, did it.
I could tell you everything that you know already about what cigarettes can do to your health and your wallet, but I won’t, because all you have to do is WANT TO quit and you will be able to, it won’t be easy. Your body will fight you, as will your brain. Depending on your body chemistry it will be harder or easier for you, but you CAN DO IT. I wish you the best. :slight_smile:

77

I don’t think that any single solution to any single problem is everyone’s solution to their experience of the same problem.

However, since you haven’t read Carr’s book you have absolutely no way of knowing that his is not a “solution” in the traditional sense, nor is it really a method. Boiled to its essence, it’s just a whole lot of truth that IS true for everyone who smokes. Whether understanding that truth will work for every single person on the face of the planet to be free of the struggle and discomfort that you have already said you are still experiencing, no, it won’t. But it does work for such an insanely large percentage of the people who have tried it, I feel very confident that it would be very much worth your while to read the book and determine for yourself.

Unless, of course, you have some reason that it works for you to continue to be uncomfortable and struggling every single day, which I can certainly imagine might be true. People are complex and the most surprising and counterintuitive things can turn out to be very useful.

This isn’t a contest about who is right, or following the crowd or what the hell ever, Shakes- this is people who are the same in that they are or have been very addicted to a nasty, dangerous drug that many learned people have said is harder to kick than almost any other. If there is a way that might set you free from it forever, it is hard to imagine what could stop you from looking into it. But it’s your call.

78

Again, you are speaking from ignorance, and some weird need to reject this book and what it has to say because you seem to perceive it as interfering with your individuality.

Try reading it. Buy a used copy for a buck. it’s not what you assume it is, trust me.

79

Thanks everyone. 12 hours down. I’ll sack out in a couple of hours, so at least I can sleep through the next 7 hours of wanting a cig. Morning will be a bit tough until I get my coffee as I used to use a cig for my first starter of the day. Maybe I should grab a Starbucks double-shot and throw it in the fridge to wake up with. We shall see.

Stoid, I definitely track on the stress and addiction factor. The deep breathing does seem to help some. Vitamin supplements helps some. Keeping busy helps some. Talking to you guys helps a lot! I know it is different for different people so I like hearing the different stories. So, if my eyes start to glaze over and I start hunting for a cigarette, I am going to come read this thread as I can see a bunch of people I know (in an Internet sort of way) who have done it and get some practical advice on coping.

80

Thanks lacortadora. I like that story and it totally makes sense to me. The decision is the primary part. How you do it is secondary. And you are right - I know all the bad things and have known for years and have even spent some time educating myself on the bad effects and I still managed to break my last quit. Right now I do WANT to quit. If my blood pressure is really 165 over 103, then holy crap!!!