Howdy, y’all! This here’s a favorite of mine.
Firstly, you need you some armadillos. Cruise along I-40 and pick up what you
find in the road. Whatcher lookin’ fer is one that’s good an’ dead, but not
smushed flat like a pancake or nuthin’.
Once you gets about three pounds worth, pick off the gravel, maggots and
buzzard droppings. Don’t worry about the tire chunks; they add to the texture.
Now the secret’s the sauce. Go into the garage and grab some turpentine, 30
weight Valvoline, hardened enamel (color of your choice), paint thinner and
whatever else you got a hankerin’ fer.
Squersh up a few termaters(aka tomatoes for you non-Texans) and toss ‘em in a
big-ol’ iron pot. Throw in the petroleum products of your choice along with a
few old socks the dog’s been a-chewin’ on.
Add six pounds of Jalepenos and boil until the plaster on the ceiling starts
crackin’.
Toss in the Texas turtles(aka armadillos for you non-Texans) and simmer until
the neighbors complain.
Serves a whole passle of hombres.
Serving suggestion: Keep plenty of Charmin handy!
