Coping with Depression

AHunter3: It is not you who should clarify in post 11, but me. I oversimplified your position as I did not intend to bring your stance on meds into the thread. Upon reflection, I can see the need to have better stated it at the outset, if only for the readers of the thread. My apologies.

I also like to immerse myself in a project but with three kids 5 and under, that is not realistic. That’s where the problem truly lies. I can’t get away even when I know I need to.
Thanks for the response Zoe. I guess I expected the SI’s to disappear and never return. It seems they are just another effect of depression to be dealt with.

Thanks to Kalhoun for taking the time and more clarifying my simple and very incomplete description of AHunter3 and his stance on psychiatry and meds.

It’s funny you should mention keeping a journal MaddyStrut as that is precisely what we plan to do. My off days have been occurring far to regularly and we want to see if there is a pattern or cause so it can be avoided and/or dealt with.

lorene, I can’t tell you what to do. I can only say that my situation boiled down to take something or check out. I could not do that to my family, no matter how much I despise taking meds. I would suggest that if you start taking it, make sure that a) it is your decision and b) that you can go off the meds if you so choose.

I encourage you to keep a journal of the foods you eat as well (they can be the same journal.) You may find a link between certain foods (as I did with sugar) and your off days.

Greenback I don’t have any advice but you’re in my thoughts. I was just thinking and wondering about you not too long ago as a matter of fact. Stay strong.

Hey 'Mika. As you can see from this thread, things are much better than they were but are a far cry from ‘back to normal’.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I went off of medication because I couldn’t afford it, but I’ve learned to cope with my depression so effectively that I don’t need meds anymore. Everyone that I have told about my depression in the past few years has been shocked by it because I am almost always cheerful and happy. Overall, I rate my happiness level as high but I am working on ways of bringing it even higher.

I suffer from Severe Depressions with other stuff mixed in. It’s genetic, which made it very hard for me to deal with originally. You trust your mind to tell you how things are, so when I felt sad, I thought I was sad. I allowed my feelings to take control of me instead of taking control of them. I’ve since learned that depression, for some people anyway, is caused by the right, emotional side of the brain being hyperactive while the left side of the brain is dormant. I recently read the case of a woman whose left hand would randomly fly up and try to strangle her. At first, all her doctors thought she was crazy, but a famous doctor theorized that the right side of her brain was out of control of the left side because of a damaged corpus callosum. After she died, he found that her brain was damaged (I think because of a minor stroke) in the way he had predicted.

Whenever I feel a depressive attack coming on, I try to stimulate the left side of my brain by thinking logically instead of emotionally. I ignore my hyperactive right side which keeps sending me “danger” signals and focus using logic. For example, after my computer broke last week, I lost my cell phone. A few years ago, I would have gone into a panic and let my negative emotions overwhelm me. I started to think about how I would not be able to contact some of my friends since I only had their phone numbers which were listed in the phone but I quickly stopped that train of thought. Instead, I retraced my steps in my head and focused on finding my cell phone. I used my left side to plan my actions and tried to keep my emotions out of it as much as possible. The emotion I did allow myself to feel was the intense rush of happiness after I found it. I also focused only on the positive after the event. Yes, I lost my cell phone, but I was able to find it rather quickly and it reminded me of the importance of backing up my phone numbers. I don’t focus on the missing minutes spent looking for it, how bad I would feel if I hadn’t been able to find it, the cost of replacing it, etc. If I hadn’t been able to find it, then I would’ve tried to focus on the benefits of being able to get a much better phone instead of the misery of its loss. A recent thing that I’ve started to do to increase my level of happiness is to write down 3 positive things that happened each day at the end of the day or the next morning. I wrote down “found my cellphone” for that day. A few days later I lost my cellphone again. Before, I would’ve been very angry at myself and would’ve kept telling myself how stupid I was. This time, I looked upon it with amusement and when I wrote down “found my cellphone, again!” that night, I chuckled. I praised myself for the logic that I used to find my cellphone both times it went missing.

I also ignore my desire to remain alone or go to sleep when I am depressed. Instead, I force myself to go out with my friends or do positive things. When I screw up, I don’t focus on the mistakes I made (which is very hard for me to do). Another thing that I have learned is to nip problems in the bud before they spiral out of hand. For example, I used to feel too tired to go to school, so I’d miss a day of class and then I’d feel bad about missing the class, so I never would go again. This time, I don’t allow myself to miss it in the first place. If I must miss it, then I email the professor immediately and do the work to make up for that missed day as soon as possible.

I always try to remember, you can’t change the actions of others, just your reaction to their actions. You can also apply that to the circumstances of your life. Yeah, I’d rather that my computer wasn’t broken, but because it broke, I have been able to do things that I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. I might’ve lost all my photos, music, files, etc. I don’t focus on that possible loss though, just have hope that I can retrieve it. If I do lose everything, then I will focus on the fact that it will be a very valuable learning experience. I will never fail to back up my computer ever again, no matter the outcome.

At first I was afraid of repressing negative emotions. I’ve heard that if you continuously repress your emotions, you will be both mentally and physically unhealthy. Because of this, when I encounter major upsets, I allow myself to feel angry, sad, etc. But, I only do it for a limited time. I will be insanely sad and/or angry for a short while before I start doing my logical feelings. I find that by allowing myself to feel so strongly during those short times, those feelings go away on their own. Now, sometimes the intense anger or sadness will lead to intense happiness without any logic on my part because my brain is so used to happiness coming after anger or sadness. This isn’t to say that I don’t have to work on it still, just that it’s much easier to get back to my level of happiness. I used to feel a lot of latent anger, but by allowing myself to get very angry for short bursts, I no longer feel that way.

Another thing that has helped a lot is learning that I am hypoglycemic. I no longer feel as tired as I did before which means I am able to accomplish more throughout the day so I have more things to feel happy about and more reasons to be proud of myself.

One of my close friends is a psychology professor and strongly recommends Behavioral Activation Therapy:

According to him (and the website) the recent evidence shows it to be as effective as meds and without any side effects. And common sense says that a combination of meds and therapy could, for some people, be more powerful than just one treatment. If I were looking for help right now, that’s the way I’d go.

GL

Dr.Ramachandran has been cited in many discussions on the board kimera. Have you read his book Phantoms of the Brain? Fascinating read. You use a similar approach as AHunter3 but the problem with that, at least at this point in my life, is that I can’t always get away to focus on things. Even when I know that I should.

It also sounds like your methods are similar to Plan B’s behavioural activation therapy. It seems that discussions, both on this board and elsewhere, regarding coping mechanisms usually narrow down to journaling and making a conscious decision to do something…anything. When things were much worse, I would get up and tidy my bookshelf, after which I was completely drained (I don’t have that many books). But for those 10 minutes, I could focus on something else.

Thanks for all the responses. It looks like I may have a method to defeat the madness. It’s so crazy, it just might work.

(today is a better day, I can feel hope)

I thought I’d share as I’m probably involved in a lower grade depression than most of you. I’m looking for the link in the pit, but I’ve been through four years of deep deep crap. My wife and I have weathered the brunt of the storm, and from a clinical standpoint, we’re 90% out of the woods from all the stuff that’s hit us. And yet I’ve spend the last two months in a paranoid state, thinking she was being unfaithful and generally over reacting at everything that happend to me.

She crashed badly one Friday morning, the end result of which was she started taking Wellbutrin and Xanax. I’d been on Wellbutrin after having not such good luck with Lexapro and my libido. (I’d used Lexapro in the past when, due to infants, libido didn’t exist anyway)

Within the last three weeks, My wife would crash, and two things would become apparent: a) she’d forgot to take her meds, and b) my panic attacks, not being adequately controlled by the Wellbutrin were making things quite a bit worse. I then started taking Xanax as needed to quiet the paranoia and things have been steadily improving.

My wife has stopped taking the Xanax daily and now just takes it as necessary, and I’ve taken three doses in the 10 days I’ve had the prescription.

Had a little counseling, took some notes on how I was feeling, when I was feeling them, got out and did some stuff away from the house. Things are getting better. YMMV