Corny aphorisms that you’ve come to live by

In My Humble Opinion
21

If we’re allowed to offer things we coined ourselves, then (when confronted with, for example, the sort of inexplicable, self-destructive stupidity that you see a dozen times a day):

What do we say at times like this?
Other people’s lives.

The reason this is a call and response is that many of the people I know now use this. After that tale of a third party’s inexplicable stupidity I’ll do the first part; and, with worldweary headshaking, they’ll do the response.

As I’ve suggested before, sayings by Bill Parcells and Mike Tyson, which originally had a specific meaning, actually apply very widely:

You are what your record says you are; and
Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

j

22

Eat right, exercise, still die.

The underlying mindset of the failed dieter, at least it if for this one :raising_hand_man:.

23

Mom was fond of saying “if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them both”. There were several other things she was wrong about, too.

24

If it’s worth doing, do it.

Don’t count your chickens before you really need to.

You can catch more flies with manure than with honey.

If you gradually heat up the frog’s pan of water, he’ll jump out when it gets hot. That old story’s a lie.

You can lead a horticulture, and then write movies about her.

If you give a mouse a cookie, make sure it says D-Con on it.

25

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

26

Having seen that corny aphorism in innumerable places over the past several decades, I’m skeptical.

27


Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it.

28

I’ve never heard it, except from me.

29

Don’t be penny wise and dollar foolish.

People make promises according to hopes and keep promises according to fears.

I’m a big fan of the demotivators.

Personal favorite: Ambition - Despair, Inc.

“A journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.”

Not a demotivator but it should be…

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

30

If you don’t ask, the answer is always ‘no’.

31

Huh. I’ve always gone with, “Don’t ask, Do!”

32

The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.
You can’t rock the boat if you’re too busy rowing.

33

It’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

The devil doesn’t always walk up and introduce himself.

34

Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.

35

Eight billion years from now, when the sun has burned out and the earth is a frozen ice ball, none of this will matter !

36

I see a few old favorites here, some more apt when I was working than now in my slothful retirement. Like this one: “If you don’t have the time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?”

One I made up: “Sometimes you do everything right and they still die.”

37

I have to think you’re whooshing us.

A quick glance of the 8.3 million Google hits for “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing” suggest a date of late 1800’s for the corny proverb, but many sites attribute it to Ayn Rand. Celebrities from Adam Savage to Nile Rodgers seem fond of using it. Slight variations of this classic are also many.

38

Good, quick, and cheap: you can only pick two.

There are many ways of standing still, but only one way of moving forward. Not my original, but I like it.

I have never encountered a plan that survived it’s first contact with reality.

39

Forgot about one of my originals that I’ve told the kids a few times:
“Lady luck only sees moving targets.”

40

No, no whoosh. I literally have never heard anyone else use the phrase, or read it. Never got around to reading Ayn Rand (I have Atlas Shrugged around here somewhere), did not religiously watch Mythbusters, and I don’t know who Nile Rodgers is.

That other people have made up the phrase doesn’t mean I didn’t make it up too.