Ive been seeing a lot of these lately, let me see their Phillip Morris, Ford, United etc… All saying something to the effect
Dear(*insert fucked up company here *)customer
We realize here at (*insert fucked up comany here *) that we may have cheated/inconveiniece/killed some of our customers. I felt as the CEO of (*insert fucked up company here *)that I should let you know that we at (insert fucked up company here)that we’re aware of the situation and are taking steps(read being made to) to remedy the sitution.
And we at (insert fucked up company here)wanted to give you this meaningless apology and promise not to be so obvious when screwing you over in the future. Because we at (insert fucked up company here)care about you.
Im Asshole In Charge and on behalf of (insert fucjed up company here) We thought you should know that.
Or maybe it’s just me.
FWIW, this sort of thing has been SOP in newspapers for many years. Companies routinely take out full-page adds to apologize for one misdeed or another, or to clarify their position on something. Normally you have to read WSJ or the New York Times, though.
I think they’d be better served to leave them in the newspapers. These apology commercials look like hostage tapes.
“I give you my (gulp) solemn word. This will never (sweat-sweat) happen again. We are doing everything (shifty eyes) to assure we correct our (tug of a collar) mistakes.”
This thread just made me think of that scene from A Fish Called Wanda where Kevin Kline has John Cleese hanging out a window by his heels in which he “…apologize(s) unreservedly …” etc.
In Japan they do these things right. After you’ve seen a line of suited, solemn men bowing from the waist (a few even get down on their hands and knees and do THE most humble bows possible) you feel like you’ve been rightly apologized too.
My new bank, Fleet, should come over and clean mine and half of the other houses in Boston for their recent ineptitude in May when they took over BankBoston. Although it is nice not to have to put up with that illiterate corporate name (created when BayBank took over the Bank of Boston) anymore.
and have you seen the most recent ones from Ford where the CEO states “My family own 2” of the vehicles that are involved in the tire recall, my first thought was "yep, and I’ll bet you got ** your ** fuckin’ replacement tires 2 years before the recall, too! (gratuitous usage of profanity for Pitettiquete)
Well, most of the time the subtext of those messages is that they are apologizing to the shareholders, and not to the general public. So don’t go gettin’ a big head all of a sudden and thinking you’re important.
Since the apologies are on T.V and do not take the form of mailings to shareholders (like proxy/voter statements and quarterly reports do), the subtext of the message really is “The shareholders are chewing my ass off and forcing me to do this in order that our market share isn’t affected.” I.E. apologize to the public.
And you’re assuming that I’m NOT a shareholder, so don’t go strutting around trying to belittle people.
McKenna, I am just doing what I swore I would in my pay off letter to “FLEET OF THIEVES”. They are a bunch of money grubbing thieves that do not honor any commitments. I hve not one good thing to say about this bunch of corporate hiwaymen. Get a new account now before they do you some real damage.
end hijack-
And I thought I was over being SO PISSED about Fleet. ASSHOLES.
later, Tom
What a fucking crock of shit. Phillip Morris saying how they are stopping all advertising. Saying all of this bullshit AS IF IT WAS THEIR FUCKING IDEA. Well excuse the fuck out of me but I don’t believe any of this was their fucking idea. They were forced into it and they went kicking and screaming.
and what’s the deal with that fucking diet pepsi commercial with the people on the boat and it rocking back and forth? it says that “diet pepsi tastes like regualr cola” but the fucking regualt cola they show is a fucking COCA COLA. so pepsi is saying that diet pepsi tastes like coke? why the fuck wouldn’t they use a regular pepsi instead? fucking advertising morons.
and what’s the deal with that fucking diet pepsi commercial with the people on the boat and it rocking back and forth? it says that “diet pepsi tastes like regualr cola” but the fucking regualt cola they show is a fucking COCA COLA. so pepsi is saying that diet pepsi tastes like coke? why the fuck wouldn’t they use a regular pepsi instead? fucking advertising morons.
Yeah, this is a moronic commercial. I secretly wish one of those people has a nasty hepatitis sore on their lips as they share swigs.
ANYTIME you compare your product to another product, you’ve lost. Your product should be good enough to stand on its own. Movies do this alot.