[QUOTE=Crocodiles And Boulevards]
I’d like to see that marine try and toss a grizzly bear off a cliff.
[/QUOTE]
Particularly if it’s a trained cavalry bear
[QUOTE=BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]
This cracked me up. Just a picture of a bear stuffed in a cannon with a little helmet, or possibly in the basket of a trebuchet or sitting on a ballista. And then the bear noise he makes while he’s flying through the air. Although not as funny as a launched-dog noise. “BAROOOOOOOOooooooo…”
[/QUOTE]
Go for the trebuchet. Getting a bear into a cannon is no small feat, and it would need to be a huge cannon, and the ballista would struggle to lift that much weight. A trebuchet can huck a piano a good distance, though, so would be fine to get Mr Bear up to terminal velocity.
Or you can put rollerskates on its feet and strap a rocket to its back. The possibilities are endless!
[QUOTE=Alessan]
Or you can put rollerskates on its feet and strap a rocket to its back. The possibilities are endless!
[/QUOTE]
Talk about shock and awe - a rocket-powered grizzly bear on rollerskates being hurled from a trebuchet into a brick wall is pretty farking shocking!
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Yes, even a common black bear can peel open your car to get at food. However, a car is not a brick wall. A car can be peeled open by a man wielding a Jaws of Life. It’s just sheet metal, which isn’t as cohesive a unit as a brick wall. A man holding a Jaws of Life would not be able to dismantle a normally constructed brick wall, and neither could a grizzly.
Is there some kind of bar bet in the offing?
[/QUOTE]
No, just curiosity!
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Is there some kind of bar bet in the offing?
[/QUOTE]
No, it was a bear bet.
Bear: I could get through that wall.
Other Bears: No way.
B: Piece of cake.
OB: $20 says you’re full of it.
I’m really glad I stuck with this thread.
Giant pitcher of Kool-Aid …
[QUOTE=danceswithcats]
Bear: I could get through that wall.
Other Bears: No way.
B: Piece of cake.
OB: $20 says you’re full of it.
[/QUOTE]
<drunken bear staggers away from bar, and halfway to the wall, falls unconscious on the floor>
<other bears point and laugh>
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
<drunken bear staggers away from bar, and halfway to the wall, falls unconscious on the floor>
<other bears point and laugh>
[/QUOTE]
<Still other bears, chortling, wheel in the trebuchet>
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink]
…or a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Is there some kind of bar bet in the offing?
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Cervaise]
<drunken bear staggers away from bar, and halfway to the wall, falls unconscious on the floor>
[/QUOTE]
Do bears get shit-faced in the woods?
[QUOTE=Askance]
Do bears get shit-faced in the woods?
[/QUOTE]
Yes. They break into campers and drink the beer. I saw the camper and cans after somebody arrived back home.
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord]
Yes. They break into campers and drink the beer. I saw the camper and cans after somebody arrived back home.
[/QUOTE]
When drunken bears devour barmaids, they get arrested on drug charges. When one bear asked why, the Ranger told him, “That was a barbitch you ate.”
[QUOTE=Askance]
Do bears get shit-faced in the woods?
[/QUOTE]
Ok, I’m the head editor for a textbook and magazine publisher here in Seoul, and one of our EFL education magazines for businessmen includes an full one-page article with illustrations explaining the phrase “Does a bear shit in the woods?”
I absolutely kid you not.
Obviously they’re not Catholics.
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
Obviously they’re not Catholics.
[/QUOTE]
The Korean businessmen, or the bears?
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose]
Yes, the wall would provide protection, and no, the bear couldn’t break through. It takes a car with the energy of multiple horsepower to break through a brick wall, and even then it’s not a sure thing. And a car has a lot more horsepower–read, “strength” and “energy”–than a bear. It’s a physics thing.
[/QUOTE]
I once took apart an (old) brick chimney and did it mostly by hand.
There’s no way I’d rely on physics and a brick wall to protect me from a charging bear. I would rely on the general lack of sophistication of your average grizzly which would tend to regard a brick wall as an uninteresting rock face. But an unusually smart and motivated bear could eventually get through a brick wall by charging it and then clawing at individual bricks. Once one or two bricks are dislodged, a brick wall quickly loses its structural integrity. If a 160 lb person with a 5lb sledge can get through a brick wall, then I’m pretty sure that a 1000 lb bear with claws like prybars could do the job pretty quickly. Strength would not be an issue as I’ve seen films of grizzly bears casually lifting 100 lb boulders out of their way while looking for salmon.
[QUOTE=danceswithcats]
The Korean businessmen, or the bears?
[/QUOTE]
Everybody knows grizzly bears are Lutherans. Black bears, on the other hand, are Baptists, brown bears are Episcopalians, and pandas are Unitarians.*
*-Koala bears are Jewish, and bugbears are Rastafarians.
What are human bears?
Unbearable.