Hypothetical:
You’re in love. You know you’ve really found the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. And they love you and want to marry you, too. There’s just one catch: They don’t know English, and you don’t know a single word of their language (be it German, or French, or Russian, or whatever it is - a language you don’t know.)
You could spend married life together as is, with very limited language communication (and they love you, they’d never leave you for anyone else,) but you feel that that relationship will always be hampered by the language barrier. And for them, learning English will be even harder than it would be for you to learn their language.
*Would *you be willing to learn an entirely foreign language, for the sake of communicating with someone you love?
*Could *you do it? (That is, do you think you’d be capable of learning a difficult foreign language?)
I would love to learn Italian just to spend time touring the non-touristy areas of Italy someday. So yeah, for a soul mate, sure.
I just don’t know how I could be so entirely in love with someone I can’t talk to. How do I even know that they want to marry me? It’s just a ridiculous hypothetical.
Without communication, this person can never be anything but an attractive stranger. I can’t feel love for them until after we learn to communicate.
The answer is a very obvious yes. It is not that hard to learn a language if you have a reason to, especially if you have the opportunity to constantly get positive feedback when you whisper an unexpected sweet nothing in your lovers’ ear.
Another vote for yes. In return, I’d hope they’d work on picking up some English though. I have to say, it’s a big leap to be in love with someone when you’ve never spoken to them. Like them, sure. In lust, think they’re hot, want to spend your life with them, whatever etc. But you don’t know anything about them. But working with what you gave us, of course.
A Winterim (full semester in 2-3 weeks) [Language] 1 class at your local university followed by the Spring [Language] II class on top of living with them and you’ll be able to at least start communicating with them within a few weeks and probably be conversational well before most of your fellow students. Just be careful that your your SO’s dialect and grammar doesn’t leak into the classroom.
But yet it does seem to happen in this world. There do seem to be real-life stories of happy marriages between two people from different countries, cultures, races, etc. with very little ability to communicate.
Anyway, how one falls in love in a language-barrier situation isn’t really the issue here; the hypothetical is about whether love would be enough of a motive to learn a difficult, unfamiliar foreign language from scratch.
It is a very strong motivating factor for me. I was able to speak half-assed Portuguese within a few months of meeting my wife. Within a year I could fool a Brazilian into thinking I was from some other part of Brazil (but only for 5 minutes. once the conversation left day-to-day topics my true gringo nature was exposed).
In the beginning we would take dictionaries and note paper on dates.
That was 25 years ago, and we are happily married, so it turned out to be a worthwhile endeavor. One of the most important benefits of this was that I was able to get to know her parents while they were still alive in a way that would have been impossible with a language barrier.
If I fell in love with a man for whom English was his second language, and if his primary language and culture were still important to him, I would definitely make an effort to learn his primary language. (In which case I hope to fall for a Francophone, because I already have some background in French. )
FTR, add me to the list of people who completely reject the premise of falling in love with someone you can’t communicate with…
