Unelectable because I was born in Canada.
Not old enough.
Not a christian. (We’ve had one or two Deists, haven’t we? Do they still count as “christian”?)
No college degree.
Other unelectables:
I have a beard, but I’m not a Republican.
Spent a little time in a mental hospital. And I take medication. (Hey, would you rather have the guy in charge needing psychiatric treatment and not having it?)
French last name.
Northern Californian.
And my politics are too centrist for either major party to tolerate.
As for my personal political skills…well, I’m fairly confident that I could be an effective Libertarian leader. (In the same sense that, say, Clinton was. If ya know what I mean.)
I meet none of the legal qualifications. They got me on technicalities, dagnabbit.
Unelectable – too young, atheist.
Also, too many people would come out of the woodwork with a “That dude asked me if I could score some acid for him” story.
I am a gay, black, athiest woman…
Hell, yeah, I can be president!!
kidding white man from Texas…need I say more???
Unelectable due to age, lack of religion, and I did inhale.
Basically, completely out of the question on everything except being a pale male.
Unelectable: Only because I put the tons in skeletons in the closet.
Well that. And I’m from Minnesota.
Unelectable (for now). Too young, not religious, and not a citizen. If that Schwarzenegger amendment that everyone was talking about gets written and passed, two of those things will be taken care of (my prediction is that in the future, I will be older). As for the third, I guess I’ll just have to fake it. 
Gay.
Atheist.
Jewish by birth.
Libertarian.
Have lived in sin and lusted in my heart.
Am honest and outspoken.
Was charter member of ACT-UP.
Totally not interested in “leading” people.
Back in the 60s, burned draft card.
More recently, burned AARP card.
Not being a US citizen counts me out.
One other criteria to think about, is that having a dog is pretty much de rigeur.
Not electable. Not a US citizen, for a start, so even if I become a US citizen I’m out of the running. And being an atheist would be a very serious handicap, if I could overcome the first problem. But I do live in the right state, which has produced more (mostly bad to mediocre) presidents than any other. However, just about all the presidents from Ohio were Republicans, and I doubt if I’d ever join the Repuiblican Party.
No legal barriers.
I’m white, but probably too ethnic (half Greek) and openly atheist.
I’m straight, but a total tomcat. Fortunately, Clinton, Schwarzenegger, et al have loosened things up in this area. More of a problem: I’m single and childless.
I was born in West Virginia, and live in Maryland, two non-electables.
No medical degree, no military service.
Something not mentioned: I’m 5’7", and the the only way I could imagine a man my height being elected in this day and age would be if a successful Olympic gymnast were to go into politics.
You burned your AARP card? Do you know how many discounts you can get with that card?
My mom has one, okay?
Pro:
White male
56
US native-citizen
straight
Con:
Single, multiple divorces
Agnostic
Outspoken and blunt
Moderate, but conservate-leaning. I agree with the Republicans on a lot, but I also support a woman’s choice to have an abortion. I disagree greatly with the lunatic religious fringe that has infested the Republican party as well. It would be hard for the Republicans to put me up as a candidate and I would not run as a Democrat.
I meet the legal requirements, but have too much of a deviant past (and present) to make me the candidate of none but the most fun-loving and interesting parties. That excludes both the Republicans and Democrats, and given that they are the powerhouses I had to say that I’ll never be President.
Are you not a native-born citizen?
Are you less than 35 years old?
Now the obvious ones:
Are you a woman?
Are you any race other than white?
Do you practice any religion other than Christianity?
No President has ever been an only child.
Military service is also a plus, but every President who’s served has been an officer.
These are all the things I fail in. Of course, the first two don’t even give me a chance, but I am (proudly) a citizen, FTR.
Nice to meet you, Mr. President. 
All you guys counting yourself out for atheism or agnosticism are giving up too early. Lots of Presidents have slipped under the wire on religious belief.
Other things that are not automatic disqualifications:
Divorce
Felonies
Drug use
Extramarital affairs
Being unmarried
Nothing holding me back according to the OP, but we’ve got a lot of well-documented stuff from when I was a teenage moron***** that’d come back to bite me on the ass:
Well-documented drug use
Rampant truancy
Dropping out of high school
Talking a girlfriend into getting an abortion
A few (non-prosecuted) instances of getting busted for shoplifting
The videotape of me saying “nice hat, nigger”
Sexually explicit photos of me and an ex-girlfriend
Yeah, it wouldn’t take too much digging for FoxNews to have me effectively off the campaign trail.
*****Heh…sounds like a bad 50’s movie.