*Ko-Ko: What are you talking about? I can’t execute myself.
Pooh-Bah: Why not?
Ko-Ko: Why not? Because, in the first place, self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt…*
I believe there was an Agatha Christie story which involved a person supposedly committing suicide with an axe. One of the characters was skeptical and said something like, “Splitting your own head open with an axe sounds like it would take some practice.”
Shouldn’t that be “separating other people from their bodies?”
Properly speaking, yes - but we don’t refer to someone being de-torso-ized, or some such. People are decapitated - despite the fact we know better, the English language seems to view the torso as the person, and the head a constituent part thereof.
Here, hold my beer…
Sorry, I missed that. Please ignore my post.
Nice one!
This is in the running for The Last Words Ever Spoken By the Human Race, right up there with “I wonder what this does?”
No, you’re right, that’s no good. I only wanna know if you could do it purely through the power of one’s own muscles.
I’ll also add that heaving yourself at a blade, e.g. by falling on it and running at it, is not allowed, though I admit I hadn’t thought of that.
The point that it’s hard to even chop off someone else’s head is a good one. I suppose you just couldn’t generate that much force towards yourself.
According to Wikipedia, baseball player Martin Bergen came pretty close.
(I only knew about this because it was mentioned recently in another thread, and the search was still in my Google history.)
It seems rather pointless. The tradition, going back to the ancient Romans, is that you don’t get full style points unless you use the sword to disembowel yourself …slowly. Apparently managing it with one quick slash will only result in partial credit.
I am reminded of a story told by H.L. Mencken about a German emigrant in Baltimore. He decided to end it all, so he went to a bridge and climbed on the railing. He then put a noose around his neck, took poison and shot himself in the head. He said the police were impressed with his thoroughness.
It seems rather pointless. The tradition, going back to the ancient Romans, is that you don’t get full style points unless you use the sword to disembowel yourself …slowly. Apparently managing it with one quick slash will only result in partial credit.
I am reminded of a story told by H.L. Mencken about a German emigrant in Baltimore. He decided to end it all, so he went to a bridge and climbed on the railing. He then put a noose around his neck, took poison and shot himself in the head. He said the police were impressed with his thoroughness.
Apparently my memory was a little off:
Using the same princible as the performer who spins plates on dowelsticks, you get a heavy blade swinging around a central pivot. Very heavy, so as to build up momentum, and a short though sturdy stand-in for the dowelstick, so you can crouch under the path of the blade while you swivel it. Then you stand up with your neck in its path, and finish the project ten inches shorter than when you began.
I know this violates the OP as a simple machine, but then anything you use to cut off your head is a simple machine: a wedge.
nevermind.
No, in my opinion. For the same reasons discussed below.
I reminisce about removing my cadaver’s head in this thread: How Easy Is It To Sever A Head? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board
On an old episode of QI, Stephen Fry discussed King Goujian of Yue. The front line of his army was composed of condemned criminals, who would charge the enemy, and intimidate them by cutting their own heads off!
The script notes are quoted here.
and an utter lack of regard for the Americans with Disabilities Act.
The ADA mandates reasonable accommodation for individuals with disabilities.
This particular hypothetical scenario clearly excludes all but the able-bodied from full participation in the removal of one’s head.
Let’s display some sensitivity and specify that persons with disabilities that preclude full usage of hands, arms, or legs…
Will be permitted the use of prosthetic devices, including but not limited to: Sazalls Guillotines and Chainsaws
to ensure a full and equal opportunity to meaningfully engage in the process of auto-decapitation.
It’s clearly the right thing to do.
I reminded of a guy who committed suicide with a power drill. He had to drill himself in the head six times before he was dead. That’s determination - a lot of people would have quit after drilling three or four holes in their head and tried something else.
axe cop could do it.
Much better if you drink wood polish. It’s a horrible, slow and painful death, but it’ll give you a wonderful finish.
The more interesting question is “Could God chop off His own head?”