Counter Christian Glurge

The BBQ Pit
1

As I mentioned over in MPSIMS, I’m in the midst of a rather nasty depression, but I’ve traced a lot of its routes to some unpleasantness which happened in high school. Unfortunately, I opened an e-mail I shouldn’t have this morning to see a bit of standard internet glurge about about poor oppressed Christians sneaking God’s blessing into a graduation ceremony by faking a sneeze. Since I knew kids who thought that kind of thing would be a good idea and they were some of the kids who thought insulting me was a good idea, I replied. A lot more strongly than I normally would have. The thing is, I think it came out rather well. FTR, I am a Christian, but it’s despite the behaviour of kids like that not because of them.

CJ

Here it is:
A Reply to the E-Mail Headed "Graduation"
Then they turned around and ignored the kid who walked a bit funny and talked a bit funny, who heard about the golden, glittering parties which turned to solid ice at her presence, whose partner for graduation complained loud and long to his friends about the dog he had been paired with, and whose every contemptuous look showed it. God, she knew deep in her heart, loved her, but it didn’t seem like anyone else, anyone human did.

She thought about the only friend she had, the one who didn’t go to their churches but who had the most beautiful soul she’d seen. She thought about they way they had mocked him, teased him, beaten him up. She thought about the way they had supported each other and cried on each others shoulder, and about how if he had been there, he might have actually smiled at her, rather than telling her how much being paired with her ruined his life. She thought about how she missed him and how she wished he were there. He wasn’t. He had died, unable to take the abuse anymore, despite her, despite their best efforts. His last words to her were “I’m sorry.”

Jesus? The Jesus the popular kids worshipped seemed to be just one more test of popularity, placing WWJD right up there with “Are you a turtle?” Love thy neighbor unless she’s short, wears glasses and looks like a dork. Oh yes, they were cool all right, defying authority, making everyone fit into their little world. On the ride home, she listened to her parents talk about how beautiful every other girl was, asking why she wasn’t valedictorian, and telling her how her grades should have been better. She didn’t go to any parties. She would have been as unwelcome at one of them as . . . she couldn’t think of anything that would be as unwelcome as her, unless maybe you count a victim of bubonic plague.

The next morning, she walked a few miles her small church alone (her parents wouldn’t let her learn to drive, let alone drive), to the one place she’d ever felt a trace of love and acceptance (mercifully, none of the popular kids went there), and thanked Christ for her escape. By His grace alone, she was convinced she’d survived, even if she didn’t know quite how or why. High school was over now, and she could begin again somewhere new. On her way home, a car carrying some of the students who’d come up with the whole “God Bless You” idea passed her. They made a jeering comment about her being to ugly to get laid and left her by the side of the road.

2

Sorry about jumping in like this, but I saw that and just had to say:

You bet your sweet ass I am!

And that’s the end of my Turtle hijack. :slight_smile:

3

Obviously, you’re a snapping turtle. :smiley:

4

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:5-6

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CJ,

I love your post. It’s 100% on target. I went to school with some of those same kind of kids. Unfortunately, I also went to church with them, so during Sunday School (Sunday School!) I heard comments like, “Get out of here, Lassie, dogs aren’t allowed in church!”

So I sympathize with you. I empathize with you. Count your blessings you have a decent church to escape to, so you don’t end up a bitter old heathen like me.

Take care.

6

I’m not a Christian basically because I don’t believe in holy books or Messiahs (among other things), but I find many of the teachings of Jesus to be extremely useful, and this one has always stayed in the back of my mind. And this is why I think this Christian glurge is one of the most un-Christian things out there.

That’s also why I wondered as a child why they had a space to put your name on the offering envelopes at my church. I mean, I thought you were supposed to give without hope of earthly reward!

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SkipMagic, I knew someonewould!
Gr8Kat, I think you and I’d get on fine. Two of my closest and dearest friends are practicing Wiccans, and I greatly respect and honor them. This reply was only mostly biographical. The part about walking to church was true, but in real life, my friend was female and Methodist. She only(?) had a nervous breakdown the summer between our sophomore and junior years, but she wasn’t able to return to school and I wound up taking on a load of guilt. One of the things that infuriates me about the town I grew up in is, like you, she could not go to church without being insulted. What kind of Christian values is that?!! You might also be amused to know that I still go to church in that down, and, a few years ago, when I was teaching Sunday school, I drew the lesson from James which says “Do not show snobbery.” My first thought was “God, are you sure you want me to do this?”:eek: I went through with it and one of those kids is now an adult and a close and dear friend in her own right.

Already In Use, in response to

at least at my church, it’s used to keep track of how you’re living up to what you’ve pledged. Unfortunately, absent-minded soul that I am, I’d forget to bring the envelope and put in cash.

Thanks guys,
CJ

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CJ, I am so overjoyed that you took my challenge seriously – I know you know what I’m talking about.

So my only comments would be “Well done!” to you, and “Inasmuch…” as an overall comment to the scene you describe. :slight_smile:

9

At some churches, they keep track so you can claim tithes for tax purposes.

10

Polycarp, when I first read your response, I was a bit puzzled. After all, that rant hardly seemed to qualify for loving one’s neighbors as oneself. OTOH, maybe it’s about loving the less conventional oddballs like I used to be and am. I wrote out of anger and pain. I suppose I also wrote out of a need for faith to go beyond mere words. Thank you for getting me to think and reconsider.

CJ

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I heard it as a call to respect, care for, and love all people, even the unpopular and rejected. Perhaps your own role in that story blinded you to the underlying meaning – I certainly qualified for the same role, and would have seen it as you did (in your OTOH sentence). But from a third person perspective, you’re simply challenging the typical human stance of us vs. them as exemplified in the rejection of the unpopular and oddballs.

12

Can someone give the Cliff’s Notes of this email for those who haven’t read it?

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Elmwood, forget Cliff Notes; I’ll give you the whole thing. As far as I know, it’s not copyrighted yet. If it is, O Great Moderators, please accept my humble apologies and use it as an excuse to get rid of it (get it off me! :slight_smile: ). Quite frankly, I expected it to turn up on Snopes before now, but since it didn’t . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen of the SDMB Pit, I give you Graduation
CJ

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears. This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it. The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one
mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine…until the final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then he delivered his speech … an astounding – SNEEZE! The rest of the students rose immediately to their feet, and in unison they said, “GOD BLESS YOU.” The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class found a unique way to invoke God’s blessing on their future with or without the court’s approval.
GOD BLESS YOU

14

Dear Og, I think I’m hyperglycemic! Ack!

15

I always thought as long as it was a student led prayer then it’s in the clear?

One of the top 5 plan on reciting the Lord’s Prayer at our graduation and I’m gonna be forced to sit there with my head up and try not to groan to loudly.

We have many, many of those so called Christians at my school who will proudly state their faith and spout bs about how unwholesome and wrong drugs, drinking and sex are, and every weekend they’re out doing just that.

I guess because they go to church on Sunday that makes it all ok?

16

Dammit, the law is not that hard to understand.

No prayer in which compulsion or coercion to participate is present is acceptable in a public school. No person is forbidden from praying, by him/herself or in a voluntary group, anywhere, including as a student in a school setting.

Those kids, whatever their motivation, were doing what they did voluntarily – or with a sense of group solidarity as a part of their motivation, but not compelled or coerced by anyone other than themselves.

But the fact that conservative Christians persist in circulating crap like this “because the Supreme Court has banned school prayer” is what makes it glurge.

And no, IMHO God doesn’t give a free pass to people who mouth their beliefs (about which, for the most part, God hasn’t had a whole lot to say AFAIK) and then do otherwise, simply because they show up for a visit once a week.

17

hi. i’m that kid who is now an adult (hehe but i still consider myself a kid) in the sunday school class a few years ago. yep, i can agree with cj, murrysville is a tough town for weirdos to live in, and franklin is just full to the brim with mean kids. i’m wiccan so i try to avoid church (except to see cj, of course), but even there a lot of christians can’t find refuge from teasing. my best friend used to go to this sunday school type thing (i’m not sure what it is, but it’s some sort of religious training for catholic kids), and all she would do was sit in the corner and cry the whole time because the kids wouldn’t stop making fun of her. she’s had a terrible time with bullies in the past, and i’m surprised she’s pretty much emotionally stable. sure she gets depressed a lot, but with her past, it’s a miracle she maintains a healthy level of sanity. as for me, my past was full of bullies too (let’s pick on the really short kid!), but i managed to survive, and the teasing pretty much faded after 10th grade.

but at least people were nice to me at graduation. of course, i had an appendectomy a few days before, and people who used to point and laugh suddenly cared about me. ah well, high school is over, now i just need to survive the last 3 years of college…

-ade

18

Michael Ellis, it could be worse. Remember, I first saw that thing when I was coming out of a near-suicidal depression. Then again, writing back to it seems to have helped. :rueful look:

Ah well. I’m going to call the friend who sent it later this evenin and see if she remembers the human being rather than the e-mail address.

CJ