I think people can do what they want with the test results. No judgments, right?
If it weren’t possible, there wouldn’t be very much to talk about.
No. And again, nobody has said it is.
I’m saying the parents had a right to know and were a bit misinformed. I would’ve supported their decision.
And…not all kids with Down syndrome are the bees knees. I used to work in an environment where all of our kids were violent/destructive/couldn’t be in public school. Someone having Down syndrome doesn’t make them an automatic angel.
There wasn’t a kid I had I didn’t love, though. But no, I don’t advocate for women to keep fetuses with chromosomal disorders just so the rest of us can learn a thing or two about life.
No, you are judging. Raising a kid with a disability is horribly expensive, and most can’t afford it. Does it even bother you that a shocking number of kids with disabilities are abused?
Nope.
That’s not true though.
SOMETIMES raising a child with a disability is prohibitively expensive, sometimes not.
Sometimes raising a normal kid is prohibitively expensive too.
Just declaring that disability = bankruptcy is way too simplistic.
Yes, but a shocking number of kids without disabilities are also abused.
Right.
Exactly.
Some have.
Of course.
Not all normal kids are the bees knees either.
Quite true.
Did all those kids have Down syndrome though?
Me neither. I’m just saying you could do worse in a kid sometimes. And parents who think they are going to automatically get something “better” might be surprised.
Nobody in this thread said anything like that.
:rolleyes: She’s four. And if you honestly can’t understand parents wanting to be able to terminate a pregnancy due to Down syndrome without being resentful monsters, well, you’re in a small minority, because 89% of couples who get that news choose to terminate.
[QUOTE=rachelellogram]
there are many parents who could provide a better life than that. That’s all I meant.
[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes: Yes, there are oh so many loving homes waiting to adopt a special needs child. Uh-huh.
**lance strongarm **, have you considered starting an “Ask the parent of a child with Downs Syndrome” thread? Because your positive experience might prove reassuring to parents facing this possibility, or those with high risk pregnancies with qualms about terminating a pregnancy.
I just gave birth to my first child at 41, and had the results of my amnio revealed chromosome abnormalities, I would have terminated. Had the doctor obscured those test results, I would have sued. Why, after being childless for so long would I consider ending a pregnancy? Because yesterday’s obit page reminded me that if one gives birth to a special needs child in their 40s, one hopes to outlive that child. The mother of a high school boyfriend with no extended family…didn’t. Daniel, a muscular (freakishly strong), hyperactive and easily frustrated man with Down’s is now 47, and his only living relative (brother David) cannot or will not care for him. When we were kids, Daniel would get angry if we didn’t include him on every date and would destroy furniture, break Windows, door facing, dent cars. If Daniel didn’t get what he wanted at every meal, same result. Daniel was incontinent, masturbated when agitated, and shouted expletives learned in public school. Daniel could also be incredibly gentle and affectionate, but there was little to no indication as to when that mood would change. His mother loved him very much, and returned to college to study special education for the sole purpose of advocating for him and others like him in the public school setting. Life with Daniel was chaotic. Now that his advocate and only family member who could properly care for him is gone: Daniel will finish his chaotic life in a home full of strangers.
And this thread is months old. Shouldn’t have posted. :smack:
Yeah we’re on the same page, mister nyx 
Lettuce not fight! I know how it is. Zombies don’t tell you what they are until after they eat your face off.
Seriously though, there really are a lot of people anxious to adopt special needs children. There are waiting lists, as mentioned by lance strongarm.
I have heard this claim many times over many decades, but have never seen anything backing it up, ever.
Oh, I thought this was common knowledge. From a quick google:
http://www.mhdsa.org/prenatal-diagnosis/adoption-resources.html
http://www.everydayhealth.com/blogs/diagnosis-down-syndrome/orphans-with-down-syndrome
http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/down-syndrome-adoption-q-a/
Huh. Thanks.
I agree with you about this. Another example: Someday, it might be possible to prenatally screen children for homosexuality. It’s not hard to imagine that many parents might rationalize aborting a child for being homosexual (perhaps telling themselves that it’s for the kid’s own good because it’s harder being gay than straight in some ways).
In some countries, it’s already quite common to abort fetuses just for being female (though most of us in the western world don’t consider being female a defect), so I have no doubt that if people COULD screen out children based on any number of frivolous things they would.
Yes, thanks, great post. It’s what I’m trying to say - to add perspective. It’s not like Down Syndrome is this horrible disease that makes you an Elephant Man or anything, that’s all.
Let’s not get into a thing about it then.
That’s a great idea. Didn’t think of that. That would be less confrontational. I’m just trying to get people to think about this deeper. I’ll go do that.
I hear alot of stories like this one. It reflects the fact that many people have experienced completely out of date situations.
Daniel can successfully live in a place where there are people who can deal with his problems, with government assistance and an appointed guardian to oversee it. These places exist. There’s no reason Daniel shouldn’t have access to them.
And Daniel is an outlier. Most people with DS get MUCH better therapy and early intervention and education and behavior modification at an early age to mitigate these problems these days. We know much more about how to handle them now, by catching them early. People with DS like Daniel are rare now.
And again, if a parent thinks they can prevent things like this, they should rethink, because there are many many ways this can happen after birth. Autism, for instance, is turning into an epidemic, and it can’t be screened for before birth. There are many other problems, mental and physical, that can occur after a child is born. It’s a risk no matter what.
Just perspective.
You brought it up, and that sort of implies you felt that’s how other people here might feel about it. I don’t think that’s fair.
There’s no way it can happen after birth. I don’t think you can have a very productive discussion if you just lump Down syndrome in with every other type of thing that can happen to a person. A relatively small number of health problems can be detected before birth, and this is one of them. Parents make very difficult decisions based on that information. Just because you think it’s OK to have an abortion if you discover your child will have Down syndrome doesn’t mean you think you can shield their children from all possible misfortunes.
It’s a matter of interpretation.
That’s just it - you can’t UNlump them, because every person is vulnerable to all those things.
That’s true. It just seems too easy. I just can’t see having hope for a child and then giving up that easily. Again, not judging, just saying that’s how it was for me.