I am facing a very difficult and convoluted family situation that has myriad legal consequences. Finding any sort of reliable, demonstrable truth in this situation has heretofore been impossible. People say things - people lie - and then they deny ever having discussed the matter. I crave an objective truth, and to force people to acknowledge their statements. I feel this can only be done by recording the interchanges I have with those involved. I am going into the lion’s den soon, after evading it for some time. I am a woman - mentioned only to suggest the means by which I might conceal a recording device - cleavage? purse? hat-pin?
I am looking for a cost-effective yet sensitive audio device that I can wear on my person or otherwise conceal that will pick up normal conversations at normal range (maybe 15’?) with clarity and volume. I don’t think I need video - just sound. I have no idea what to do, what I am looking for, or where I might find it. Any thoughts?
You need to get the consent of the person you are recording, which means that there’s no value in hiding the recording equipment. It’s probably best to have them agree to the recording on the recording itself.
Your link demonstrates that that is not entirely true - circumstances vary radically. Also, these conversations have as much value as a private matter within the family as in a legal sense. Thirdly, my research has revealed that many states, including my own and the state in which my (potential) subjects reside, account as legal, any recordings made in which ONE OF THE PARTIES
( and one only) is aware that the conversation is being recorded.
At this point, I don’t expect, but would deeply appreciate, a little less high-handedness and a little more substance.
This will just change it to them lying about the recording (“that’s out of context”, “you didn’t record the whole thing”, etc.), or derail the whole conversation to arguing about your sneakyness in recording them – you’ll never get back to the original discussion, because they won’t let you – the recording proves them to be lying.
Frankly, I have found that it’s exceedingly hard to have an actual discussion with people like this. And only rarely worth the effort.
In my experience, the best dealing with a ‘convoluted family situation’ is to stay far away.
you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT -there is no way to have an actual, genuine discussion and the only thing to do is to stay far - far - away. Which I have done for more than 20 years. But now my mother is dying, and I no longer have that option. I have to deal with it. And it’s important that I have SOME semi-objective record of what’s going on.
I’m no expert, but a lot depends on how much you want to spend. There are pens, watches, and very small microphones that record digitally. I don’t know the quality of the recordings, so I’m not much good to you there. Here is a sample page that I got by googling “digital voice recorder concealed”.
If it were me, by the way, I would not only have the recording ready to play back when I needed it, but I would type up a transcript. Bad things always look worse in print.
Roddy
Roddy thanks - it’s a start. Thanks for answering at face value - without assuming subtext and grabbing an opportunity to moralize. I know my question begs analysis, but I can’t possibly make a case for the righteousness or rightness of my cause in this forum, and I am too exhausted to try.
I came here because I have respected Straight Dope since the olden times when it was a column in an underground newspaper, and I respect the intellect and wisdom of it’s readers. Also, I hadn’t any idea what else to do. I am not playing games - I am trying to avoid them.
Bring with you a covert recording device and tell no about it. Also bring an overt recording device and make it plainly obvious you are recording everything (like one of these). If someone raises the issue, tell them you “want to be honest and accurate during this trying family time.” Note if there any objections, and how strenuous those objections may be. Act accordingly.
Experiment with using your cell phone as a voice recorder; many have that function. The question will always be quality of the recording… But that goes for any tny, concealed microphone. Plus, you can fiddle with your phone in plain sight and few people will suspect that it means they are being recorded.
Thanks Duckster and md2000 - very helpful. Hadn’t thought of my phone, I’m not familiar with all it’s features. I’ll figure something out. Whether or not any recordings will ever be heard in any context, I think collecting them will help me feel less at a disadvantage.
There are small handheld recorders that are voice activated. If you are seen to be constantly carrying one, and intermittantly recording notes just to be sure you don’t forget anything important, the voice activation part might not be particularly noticed.
If you use the recordings to sort thing out in your own mind, no one will ever have reason to object. Confronting people with recordings would be sticky even if everything were legal.
But the rules here are that you have to keep us posted. The more details, the better. If you get frisked and dropped off on a median strip in your undies, even better.
BUT, if you decide to just walk away from all of this, we’ll understand. And you may stay sane.
