Cow tipping is real, but...........

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

In reference to Is there really such a thing as cow tipping? - The Straight Dope

I am about to break the redneck code and shine a beam of light on the subject of cow tipping. There are always people who say they have cow tipped and they may tell you a 20 second story of sneaking up on a sleeping cow blah, blah, blah.

Real cow tipping stories are told while standing, involves a lot of movement and takes at least 5 minutes. Ok.

Cow tipping is the bait phrase/proposal to get someone or a group of people in a field at night with not a cow, but a bull. Once in the field, the target goes from a cow to a bull and no one ever backs down. Hey, you’re in a group, so there are odds. Once you have your tippers together, the plans are made on the approach and pushing strategy…you propose that the best way to tip the bull over is to sneak up to the bull plant your feet and all together give a quick hard shove. As everyone sneaks up to the bull, that’s when you smack the switch/stick (you have been walking with every since you crossed the fence) hard against the bull’s family jewels. The bull jumps hard and runs 20 feet (or 10) before seeing everyone. Naturally, everyone runs for their lives to the nearest fence or tree.

Of the several times I have been involved in this act, the bull has always jumped forward and usually without a kick, but…

Is it hard to sneak up on a bull? Yes
Do you feel like you are putting others in danger by “cow tipping”? No
The fact of the matter is that once you smack the bull’s testicles with a switch and he realizes those things standing upright hurt me… everyone is in the same boat, no hard feelings. Run!

If you are drunk enough and fast enough you won’t laugh harder for years. If you lack one of the two, it’s not really that funny, or cool.

Also can be done at a distance with the use of a bb gun.

If you have ever found yourself in a field with a cow and this didn’t happen…Then you walked out into a field with a group of guys all thinking that someone else knew what they were doing, but didn’t.

In closing, don’t be a hero. Don’t do this, it’s dangerous.

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Cow tipping always seemed such a pleasant, even boring, pastime with no consequences. I grew up in the country, but left before my friends could drive or steal liquor (yeah, REAL young–we needed a car because we had horses, not cows). But I know myself and my friends. Your version is MUCH more plausible. Like a snipe hunt, but where you could get killed. Good times!

If it weren’t dangerous, it wouldn’t be fun. Especially if you had been drinking.

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And the snipe pizzle takes a whuppin’.

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I’d be far more impressed if they were sneaking in zoos and kicking a sleeping polar bear up the arse!

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Interesting that there is a “real” side to this…

In college I was, let’s say, tricked (though I was just too eager to DO this) into “cow tipping”. All that happened is that my friends stopped short and I ran into a cow. Since I was 5’5" 150 lbs. basically nothing happened to the cow (I think it walked a bit forward).

Since then I figured that my experience was basically the whole of the joke.