Crappy Halloween Candy '08

Memories. When I was little, they gave you normal sized candy bars!
My favorite was Clark bars, though it was difficult, my teeth weren’t good enough to bite through them.
Nowadays its these dinky small things.
That said, I hate the things that you don’t recognize. We all know candy bars and candy, smarties, etc.
But there are things that look like they were made in Indonesia.
Usually with clear plastic wrapping, or strange looking wrapping.
My favorite thing to score (through my childs candy, he gets 100, hes not eating all of them) is Reeses peanut Butter cups.

I’m 44 and McDonalds gave out Halloween certificates in 50¢ and $1.00 amounts when I was a kid. And we walked to McDonalds and it was easily 2 miles. We didn’t eat fast food back then like now. It was a couple times a year.

Anyway I hated the orange and black peanut butter things. Or chicklets, I didn’t mind bubble gum. Yeah there were always the lame ones who gave apples, walnuts or toys. We used to get about $1.00 or so in pennies and at ten cents for a candy bar that wasn’t bad.

I hated Now and Laters; those peanut butter taffy things that were wrapped in orange and black, or licorice and Twizzlers.

I didn’t get any trick or treaters last year but if i had i would have given them funsize Reese’s, 3 musketeers i bought from the dollar store.

Points for the novelty of it, but wouldn’t it make your bag a little heavy? I picture a poor four-year-old crying while holding his busted Halloween sack, candy and canned soda at his feet.

Wax lips. My grandma gave me those one year and told me it was gum. I’d recently learned how to blow bubbles, and those damned lips ruined my night. I think I still have some caught in my teeth. Gum, Grandma? Really?

My other grandma would always give me a bag of homemade cinnamon donut holes, and would act completely terrified at my costumes. I miss her.

i can put up with most candy (although i’m not a fan of those taffy-ish peanut butter kisses) but the one thing i always hated getting in my trick-or-treat bag was those little boxes of raisins.

Root beer barrel hard candies were absolutely the worst. But I ate them.

I’d put my stuff into three piles. First the stuff I didn’t like, I ate that first. Then all the candy I liked but wasn’t chocolate, that was eaten second. The chocolate was saved for last.

“Well, I do like delayed gratification…”

–Hank Hill

Like so many other people, I hate those nasty black- and orange-wrapped peanut butter taffy things. Bit-o-Honeys, on the other hand, kick buttocks.

Rolls of pennies. Everyone hated the Penny Lady. Rolls of pennies are the worst Halloween treat ever, and thanks to inflation they continue to get even worse every single year.

You have sick, diseased mind.

I loved Dots and Smarties. Those Mary Janes and the black and orange things were naaasty. Luckily, circus peanuts don’t generally come in Halloween packaging.

And what is up with the shrinking Size of Fun these days?

Hey, you leave my sex life out of this.

I had totally forgotten those orange and black taffy things, but I don’t remember disliking them. I’m surprised at how nearly universally hated they seem to be.