Crappy Halloween Candy '08

I’m sure there are previous threads on this, but here goes:

What kind of candy did you least like to find in your bag after you got home on Halloween?

I was annoyed with Necco wafers, wax lips and anything “home made.” The tiny bags with 5 pieces of candy corn were OK, but were too small to make a decent serving.

Yeah, those wax lips. I was like, “WTF am I supposed to do with these?!” Anything else was okay by me, even those peanut butter things in the black & orange wrappers.

Any “old woman” candy, which is basically anything a cranky old spinster would keep in her candy jar at home, such as anise or butterscotch hard candies.


Atomic Fireballs. I hate hot cinnamon candy. I hate jawbreakers. These were a “two hates for the price of one” deal.

Hard candies in general always sat in the bottom of the bucket until the “good stuff” was gone, except for Werther’s Originals, which I will still kill for.

Yeah, those suck! I disliked Mary Jane candies and Bit O’ Honey too. Too hard on the teeth.

MOIDALIZE, my grandmothers kept a lot of those hard candies in the “sitting hen” shaped covered bowls. Only they liked to put in Brachs ribbon candy. It’s like a cock tease to a little kid to go up to a “candy” bowl and find a fused-together lump of that stuff.

Those crazy little black and orange wrapped peanut butter things or laffy taffy wannabe things.

Get rid of em fast, or they get the rest all sticky.

People in my town used to give out hard-ass sticks of gum with a fortune in them. I think they came 1,000,000 to a bag for a buck fifty. Tasted like sweet burnt rubber. Hate.

OK, I’ll take all of yours! I love those things, and actually will purchase them in the bulk candy aisle!

Dibs on the Mary Janes!

I love the Mary Janes, the Bit O Honeys, and the orange and black-wrappered taffy things.

What I really don’t like are Milky Ways and Three Musketeers. I’ll eat them, don’t get me wrong, but those are about the blandest chocolate bars I can imagine, and I don’t know anyone who would choose them first.

McDonald’s gift certificates. That was NOT cool! When I was ten, eleven and twelve, I went back to the houses where they gave out gift certificates and wrote on their windows with wax or toilet papered their trees.

WAX LIPS, wax coca-cola botles, anything wax. Wax is not candy.

Necco Wafers


Rootbeer-flavored hard candy barrels

When I was a kid I hated black licorice, especially black licorice flavored hard candy. Now I love black licorice, but black licorice flavored hard candy still sucks.

Why not? :confused: AFAIK, the smallest denomination they come in is a dollar, so that’s a pretty sweet treat. A hell of a lot better than the lady down the block from me who gave out nickels or the assholes who gave little tubes of toothpaste.

That you would consider it bad enough to trick them for is just baffling.

I remember often getting Brazil Nuts and walnuts in my Halloween bag. They went straight into the trash when I got home.

Smarties. Not the European ones, those sickly candy American ones.

A McD’s gift cert would seem crappy to a kid, I think, because aren’t your parents paying for that if you go, anyway?

I did all my trick-or-treating in the 70’s and McDonald’s gift certificates didn’t come in monetary amounts back then. It was “Good for a small french fries”, “Good for a small soft drink” or “Good for a Filet-o-fish sandwich”, but never a Big Mac. And the fine print told you “only at participating McDonald’s”. The nearest McDonald’s was more than two miles from my house, so I had to get mom to drive me there, just so I could get a small bag of fries or a small coke. Then when I got there, there was a real chance that they weren’t a “participating McDonald’s restaurant”, because when I was nine that’s what happened. The McDonald’s we stopped at was a franchise and didn’t play along with the gift certificates. Someone thought this piece of fucking paper, this coupon was better than dropping a handful of penny candies, or a fun-size snicker’s bar, or a candy apple, or or a caramel popcorn ball, a hard-as-brick Bazooka Joe bubble gum or even a few brazil nuts in my bag, that’s why. Brazil nuts I could at least throw at some other kid and give him a concussion or put their eye out.

I’m 44 years old and I still get pissed off thinking about it. That’s why I always get the big bags of fun-size candy bars, some Mary Janes & Laffy Taffy’s & bulk Brach’s candies, dump it all into big bowls, put on the devil mask and give the kids a big handful of candy.

Those tubes of toothpaste would have ended up smeared all over his windshield in my neighborhood.

Candy corn and circus peanuts (those orangish, vaguely peanut shaped atrocities) were always the last eaten. Does anyone do homemade stuff for Halloween anymore? I loved the popcorn balls, but haven’t seen them in years since the razor-blade-in-the-candy hysteria.

Candy corn are (is?) the devil’s dingleberries. I’m a trick-or-treater of the 70’s - pennies sucked. Circus peanuts, those nasty peanut butter thingies, toothbrushes for Og’s sake!

Gimme the fun-size chocolate bars. Or Sixlets. Remember Sixlets? Put your teeth at the bottom and pull up until the top popped and all the sweet little candy coated chocolates popped into your mouth! Mmm.

I only give out good candy, now. But only to kids in costume! (Dammit!)

PoorYorick, the popcorn balls are back! Act III, the movie popcorn company, has started selling prepackaged popcorn balls. I got a box of 16 at Wal-Mart. I loved them as a kid–shame they aren’t dyed green or pink like the homemades were.
While at Wal-Mart, I also noticed sodas like Sunkist and 7-Up are sold in small cans with “Happy Halloween” on them. The very notion of sodas for Halloween threw me. What do other dopers think of them?

Black licorice and anything that is black licorice flavored is not fucking food.

Anybody that wants a piece of me about how black licorice is the only licorice can meet me in the pit. ::Rolls up sleeves::

If it’s food, dogs would eat it, they eat* poo* for crying out loud.:slight_smile:

I get where you’re coming from, I guess, but I don’t think I would have worked up quite that level of anger.

I like that idea, but only if they’re already cold. Hoofing it all over town is thirsty work, and a soda would really hit the spot!