Crappy Poetry in NYC Subways

About five or six years ago, the National Poetry Association (hey, THAT must be a group of real go-getters, huh? Anyone else picturing twenty guys in Percy Dovetonsils outfits sitting at a banquet table?) started putting up posters in the subway advertising-racks which featured poems, or selections from poems.

That was nice. They had some pretty good stuff for a while, and it made for a change from looking at all those damn ads when you forgot to bring a book with you.

Recently, the sponsorship of this thing has shifted to good ol’ Barnes & Noble, the guardians of our culture. And the quality of the poetry has really slacked off. They used to have Frost and Auden and Roethke and Cullen and Bakara and Basho and Williams and Wordsworth.

Today there were two pieces, side by side, by guys named “Sonia Sanchez” and “L. Ron Momser” (I may be mis-remembering), both born in 1934, whose work was right out of the Rod McKuen School. I read them out loud to my kid. “Wow, just like a Hallmark card, huh?”

Okay, if you’ve run out of decent poetry, maybe it’s time to bag the whole program, huh, guys? Make more room for the Anal Warts Doctor ads and The Gap. Or invest in a copy of the Oxford Anthology. And stop taking those huge bribes from the powerful poetry lobbying interests.

I personally miss those “M.D. Tush” ads.

Why not post subway limericks? Have a contest? It could be the new millennium version of being a Miss Turnstiles!

“As I was awaiting the B
A homeless guy started to pee—
When he was through
He just hollered, ‘fuck you!’
So I popped him a cap with great glee!”

	—Alfred Lost-Tennishoes

I walked into the 9 Bronx-bound,
Alas, not a seat to be found,
So I grabbed a strap, and tipped my cap,
And threw a seat-dweller to the ground

Thank you, thank you…

<Dons black beret and turtleneck–already have the goatee, thankya-very-much, and an autographed copy of Ginsberg’s Cosmopolitan Greetings–and snaps fingers>

Go, cat, go!

There once was a mayor named Rudy
Who wanted Times Square much more prude-y
He chased out the ho’s
And closed the peep shows
Before dumping his wife for some cutie.

Sorry, Ike—should’ve realized I was opening the Limerick floodgates (though I particularly enjoyed yours, Nurl). Back to the OP! Modern poetry—ain’t it crappy? Ain’t it crappier when sponsored by soulless drones like B&N? Where oh where are the Shelley and Byron and Keats of today?

Shelley and Byron and Keats
Were a trio of lyrical treats . . .

. . . Oops, sorry . . .

I participated in a poetry slam last night. Quite amusing. There was one moment, however, when a thought hit me:

Good lord, Yeats would have killed us all, thinking it merciful…

Some modern poetry is okay. I have problems with people who say a bunch of words, play a saxophone, and think that it’s art.

If good poetry you’re hoping to find
To improve your soul or your mind
Perhaps you should look
Inside of a book -
'Cause underground verse ain’t refined.
Burma Shave

Yeah! And why do people think that loudly declaiming their poetry and copping a hostile, too-cool attitude makes their poetry any better? Or do they just want to scare people out of booing?

You know, I’m an admitted dork, but I sort of like the poetry. I can’t judge what’s good and bad with poetry anyway.

My favorite subway ad is the one with the 1960’s style painted flower and the words “Spring is Chain Snatching Season! Keep your chains tucked in”. I had no idea there was a season for robbery!

If New York you’re wanting to see,
the Bronx down to the Battery
Then go see the sights,
but if you’re not white,
watch out for the N.Y.P.D.

Ad??? I thought that was one of the poems! It’s got a certain minimalist appeal, n’est pas?

Yeah, crappy peotry. I mostly hate those wanna-be intelectuals that think since they took psyc 101 and a philosophy course that they now have the power to write mind numbing stuff AND pick apart my psyche. Thier stuff is mind numbing though.

I took a flight to JFK
For a nice NYC getaway
I spent my whole time
Sitting in line
In a jam on the Van Wyk Expressway

[holding down Nurl while Ike holds the choloroform-soaked hankie over his face]

So howcum THIS wasn’t ever used, huh? Huh? Huh, Barnes & Fucking Noble?

In a Station of the Metro

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.

– Ezra Pound

This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack at Verdun,
De L’Eglise, Charlevoix, Atwater, and Vendôme,
This old man went rolling home.

This old man, he played two,
At Place des Arts and Lionel-Groulx,
Peel, Parc, Saint-Laurent, Papineau, and then
He came rolling home again.

This old man, he played three,
At Outremont and Acadie,
Cadillac, Assomption, Fabre, and Langelier,
He’ll play knick all fucking day!

Ike,

If you're short of reading material, aren't the words of the prophets still written on the subway walls?

I read 'em already. In the hall. In my tenement.

Well, at least it beats a single poem comprising four letters…