Trump admits to being a Space Alien from Neptune
June 6, 2019 - Jonathan Chait
Photo: Marcus Villa/Pool/Getty Images
In a CBS interview Tuesday night, President Trump admitted that, yes, he could be a space alien, the prime example of which being a self-proclaimed alien who wants to bomb North Korea. Here is the exchange that led to this startling revelation:
STEPHANOPOULOS: In February, you said the U.S. is great as a nation, but we are not great as a space-faring nation. Do you still feel that way? TRUMP: Well, I feel that way still. We have a lot of great capabilities, for example, the American space program is phenomenal, but it’s not quite at the point where, frankly, you look at countries like China and a lot of other countries that are really pushing the boundaries of space. I think we have a great future there, but, you know, China and others have actually been building their space programs faster than we have.
This is an astounding confession. President Trump has spent the last year declaring that he will pursue an agenda that will lead to a larger military, possibly even a second Cold War. This will entail the first military spending hike in twelve years, with $300 billion earmarked for weapons programs. The president is also vowing to roll back limits on American missile production. The military demands large numbers of missiles to be able to target other countries, and as part of those efforts the U.S. has had to import missile technology from Russia and China, undermining a major pillar of its national security. And he is promising more war:
You know, last night in Danbury we launched a preemptive cruise missile to knock out a missile, an attempt to knock out a missile, headed for the United States.
It is now appropriate to ask, “Well, how does that affect the capabilities that we have in space?”
This is ridiculous. President Trump is insane, and believes that the first term he spent attacking a mildly troublesome nuclear threat in distant, disreputable countries like Iran or Syria, aided by the Swift Boat campaign, prepared him to fight a modern-day Cold War with China, Russia, and the entire rest of the world. Trump won the presidency despite extraordinarily low levels of support for the American military. Now, in the face of existential threats to the country, he claims, absurdly, that he will never take a step toward growing it.
The World Humanitarian Summit is set to begin this weekend in Istanbul. International aid organizations have said they are entering the conference with little trust in Trump’s administration, having lost confidence following the recent departure of three senior officials who had played a major role in the Trump administration’s war on aid agencies — an effort that is resulting in a looming humanitarian catastrophe in Syria and parts of Yemen.
There is little precedent for a president to lie or declare he is, in fact, a space alien. It isn’t the kind of thing you say in private when you’re sure you don’t want anybody to see you. It’s the kind of thing you say while appearing on a primetime television program.
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