For the title, I like “Cite?”
I like that!
Yes, I agree “Cite?” is the perfect title. You can do this riff about faith. Doubting Thomas, Blessed are those who believe, etc. etc.
Oh, and I retract my earlier suggestion about Cecil being Satan. If this guy is going to reject Bob’s Christianity rather than Christianity in general, there’s only one arch-fiend here who fits the bill. I have to say, I never thought I’d have cause to post this:
Polycarp is Satan!
I agree, “Cite?” is perfect. Does anybody want to get this train rolling?
“Cite!” works for me. I’ll see what I can put together for an opening panel when I get back from lunch.
Cite! Is a perfect Title… Dibs on Panel 2.
I just got a Chick tract in the mail this weekend. Actually, I should say the guy who lived in my house 2+ years ago(!?!) and I got Chick tracts in the mail this weekend. It was pretty strange.
The exact same things stuffed into regular small envelopes addressed with the same crazy wizened handwriting. I am just confused as to how this person got the old homeowner’s name. I’m guessing property tax records or something. I’m so far up the alphabet and the other guy is in the middle (with last names) that it never occurred to this person that they were writing out the same address twice.
It was still pretty strange… A lot of effort to send out probably hundreds if not thousands of these notes. Unless it was Jack himself sending them to me! (And that other guy ? )
PS The tract was “Room 310” A fairly tame story, give some others I’ve seen. It still had a “HAW HAW!” in it, though!
Mmmmm, good gyro
Panel 1
Jason is surfing the net at his PC. On the screen is a page with the banner headline “DOPE!” Above his computer is a shelf with a diorama showing a pair of Triceratops walking up a ramp to Noah’s ark.
Jason: (thought balloon) This Cecil guy sure seems to know a lot, he has an answer for every question people send in. I’m learning a lot but it doesn’t feel right. His answers seem to make sense but a lot of them go against God’s word. This is all so confusing. I know only one person who can make it clear to me, Bob Williams. I better call him.
I thought the other titles were good, but when I saw “Cite?” I knew that was the one! Since Panels 1 and 2 are spoken for, can I have Panel 3?
Go ahead and take panel 3, Baker, I’ll take 4
Panel 2
- Bob is shown entering Jason’s room much like Jason is seen entering Bob’s room in “In the Beginning” Bob is waving his King James version of the Bible. He is smiling cheerfully. He is unaware of what evil awaits. In a clever forshadow we see a cartoonish fly caught in a spider web. The spider is rubbing its hands in glee while drooling*
BOB: Hey there Mr. Chips! You sounded a little worried on the phone. Have trouble logging onto Chick.com?
Jason: Hey Computer man! I was, but that is not my problem. While I was waiting for the Chick server to come back up I was skating the web and found this site, "The Straight Dope"
Whatever you do, be sure and confuse the SDMB with Slashdot. Maybe the “SDMB effect” is why Jason couldn’t get to Chick.com! 
Panel 3
Bob starts in alarm. The thought balloon over his head states "Dear sweet Lord, it’s worse than I thought. He’s found the Satan’s Deceivers Message Board! Lord, help me lead him away from the Pit!
Bob : Jason, I know that site! Anything you “learn” from them will be misleading! As the Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:20-21, “Avoid the godless chatter and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge, for by professing it some have missed the mark as regards the faith.”
Jason : But Bob . Some of the people on the boards sound so nice . They even say they’ll pray for people. Doesn’t that make them good?
Panel 4
Bob: They’ll pray, all right, they’ll pray to their own false gods and idols. 95 percent of SDMB memebers have made sacrifices to Satan!
Jason: Do you have a cite for that figure, Bob?
**
Yes! Perfect!
**
Heh. GD is even worse!
Outstanding! An inverted twist double entendre, a very difficult combination!
Panel 5
Bob has a shocked expression on his face. His moustache is standing upright adn his eyes are bugging out. In the background the spider is slipping off of its web.
BOB: Jason, Don’t you start being a Dope! Why are you playing into Satan’s hands? Remember Psalm 5:5* God hates people who demand proof, Big Time! If you continue down this road you risk eternal Damnation. Don’t you know the secret origins of the demon Cecil, and his most unholy “Straight Dope” ?
in a box below :*“The foolish shall not stand in thy Cite: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.”
One character’s username must be NATAS!
Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about the BBQ Pit when I made that one statement!
And kingpengvien, lovedyour misuse of Cite. It’s just the misrepresenting, out-of-context feeling I go for in my Scriptural quotes by Bob.
This has started oh so funny.
I’ll say, carry on…
Panel 6
Bob and Jason continue to discuss.
Jason: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I don’t see anything in the bible that says we should not seek truth and uncover lies. You once told me “I can tell you to the exact day” when dinosaurs were here. You quoted the bible for me but Genesis has two accounts of creation that don’t agree with each other. I accept that Moses wrote Genesis but he wasn’t there at the creation. Who is to say God didn’t give Moses an allegorical story about creation that he could understand. If God told Moses about quantum fluctuations resulting in the singularity of the big bang it would have gone way over his head, the original whooshing.
Bob’s head is spinning and his eye’s cross slightly
Bob: Jason… I… uh Satan is everywhere <wheeze> trying to dec… decieve… I need to sit down. Can you get me a glass of water?