Creative ways to spruce up an office

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

ACK! Please don’t do this. Bettas are no different than any other fish and require proper filtering and temperature control in their tanks. You may keep the fish alive for a little while, but trust me, your fish will get sick and die if it’s not in a proper fish tank.

Petco has a really nice 3 gallon tank (which is relatively small) that comes fully equipped with lighting and filtration (including a “bio-wheel” that will help balance the bacteria/biological filtration) that runs about $40.00. Here’s the 6 gallon version (doesn’t appear the 3 gallon one is available to order online, but you can get them in the stores).

Please believe me, it is worth the extra few bucks that you’ll spend up front to do it right than to waste tons of time and money on the 1 or 2 gallon tanks that only use undergravel filters (which are NOT sufficient), which you will end up throwing out because your fish will keep dying in them. (I know - I have 3 completely useless 1 & 2 gallon tanks in my garage from trying to go that route and failing.)

If your office temperature is not regulated enough to go without a heater in the tank (Bettas like it warm - at least 78 to 82 degrees!), you can pick up a small heater at Wal*Mart (7.5 watts) for $8.00. The thing to be careful about with that particular heater, though, is that it’s “pre-set” so there are no controls on it. It COULD overheat your water because it’s constantly in an “on” position. What I did to combat this is to buy a lamp timer at Target for about $10.00 and plugged the heater into that. I had to experiment a bit, but for my environment, having it go on for an hour, once every 8 hours keeps the tank at a perfect 80 degrees throughout the day and night. If a Betta’s temperature fluctuates too much, he will go into shock and die.

Take it from someone who learned the hard way, starting out with those Aqua babies that come in a little box (much like the cookie jar idea you’re thinking of going with). You will only get heartbroken or frustrated trying to keep fish alive in that type of environment.

A fish tank can be a wonderful addition to an office (I keep mine right next to my monitor), but your best bet would be to do it “right” right from the get go. Good Luck!!

22

I was incorrect - you can order the 3 gallon Eclipse online (I just didn’t scroll down far enough). It’s $50.00.

And I just noticed that they also have a 2 gallon one that you can order in either blue, black or white for only $25.00. The only caution I have with this is that the filtration might be too strong for a delicate Betta, but it might be worth a try. Petco let me return a tank I’d bought there when it didn’t work out for me, so if you go this route and later decide you’d rather have the one that’s a little larger, they may let you exchage it.

23

Composition-4.

C-4.

Plastique.

Plastic Explosives.

Well, you said it was a bomb shelter.

What better way to spruce things up a bit (and get a few days off from work) than a bomb?

Imagine the greatly reduced (practically nonexistant!) workload if all of the files and workstations (not to mentions walls, roof, and maybe even significant chunks of the floor, to boot!) were reduced to microscopic particles and “redecorated” about the surrounding acreage?

Bombs. The practical choice of creative anarchists.

ExTank
“Mostly Harmless” :stuck_out_tongue:

24

<gratuitous dig at fellow DFW Doper>
What, no spiderwebs and fragments of scorpion corpses, Ex-Tank?

Um, Beadalin, it might be a good idea to keep Ex-Tank away from your workplace. He regards the phrase “Bomb Shelter” as a challenge. I recommend acquiring an extra fish tank or two and stocking them with tarantulas and scorpions as a precaution. He’ll at least take the time to shoot large holes in them, giving you time to evacuate.
</gratuitous dig at fellow DFW Doper :D>

25

In my no window, boring as hell office I decided I needed a window and since I didn’t have my trusty chainsaw handy I got myself a nice framed picture of a window with a nice view, it truly looks kinda real except it faces the hall you walk through to get into my office, but I find it especially fun to stare out the “window” while other stare at me in amazement that I can be so easily amused for such a long period of time.

26

I’ll echo the sentiment for plants. Ones with spiky leaves tend to do well under flourescents and can often survive irregular watering. Table lamps are nice, too. The only fish I can keep alive is the virtual pet fish from Hewlett-Packard.

I haven’t seen mention of small water fountains yet. The one I had was nice because it didn’t sound like someone urinating, which in turn always induces me to have to go.

I also have glass candy pieces in a dish. It freaks people out because they expect it to be real. I then point them to the real candy hidden in a ceramic jar so they won’t get mad at me for faking them out.

I also want to point out that most workplaces take no responsibility if personal items are stolen or damaged, so only bring in what you can bear to lose. That may be common sense, but we have a pretty trusting atmosphere where I am.

27

Yeah, plants can be nice, although I’ll openly admit the only plant I can keep alive seems to be ivy. But it would be great to have something alive in here.

Shayna, I will take your advice and get him a real tank. I’m surprised, though, because I had a beta in college that stayed alive and feisty in a beer pitcher for three years (not in beer, though). Maybe I was just lucky.

ExTank, darling, I think you and I are going to get along beautifully. I was disgruntled enough at my last job to think out all manner of fiery endings for my building.* However, I really am happy with this one, so I guess I’ll let the Bomb Shelter stay an untested one. Balance, I appreciate the suggestion, but I like my decorations to be non-scuttle-y. But a dart board would be fun.

I’ll also be checking out other lighting, although I doubt I’ll be able to convince anyone to turn off the florescents. Ugh.

Well, thanks again, everybody. I’ll have this place as far from THX1138 as I can get it within the week.

*Note to FBI: Just kidding!

28

From what I learned about bettas, they are actually pretty tough fish and a lot more forgiving of things like temp fluctuatuions and so forth. I’m pretty sure they don’t need filtered water; I mean, I’ve seen them at fish stores kept in mason jars, tiny soft-ball sized fishbowls with nothing in 'em but water, and even plastic cups. My friend the fish guru (now to be refered to as FishNerd) told me tha there are stories of them living in horse hoofprints filed with rain. This is not to say you shouldn’t get him a tank; I mean, I could live in a one-room shed, but I’d be happier in a nicely-appointed condo.

FishNerd told me to get one for my big fish tank as a starter fish- it puts fishy germs in the tank which is good, and stays alive while the chemistry in the tank swings in 14 different directions that would kill more wussy fish. Then when the chemistry settles down you can put all your foo-foo delicate fish in too.

The only thing bad about them (if you can call it bad) is they hate each other. You can only have one. But in an office setting, one’s plenty. They’re also much cleaner than goldfish. FishNerd spoke of goldfish the way some people speak of buzzards or pigs.

Bettas are also supposed to be pretty smart, for fish. They seem to respond to your voice. Maybe they think they’re getting food, but I think they have vanity bred into them. I mean, they are Betta splendens, after all. I’m always telling mine how fabulous he looks, and he seems to preen when I do. But then again, I’m one of those crazy people who talk to plants, too.

Speaking of plants, Aloe is a nice, hard to kill plant that almost anyone can grow and it feels good on burns too.

29

My desk was originally a drab beige cubicle in the corner of the room. I have a wall to my left and in front of me, a cubicle wall to my right, and about five feet behind me is another cubicle facing the other way. More cubicles extend to the right. I see natural light in the mornings and evenings, since I usually get lunch from the Wheel of Death.

In a fit of righteous rage, I began interior decorating. (To those who believe that rage is not associated with interior decorating, I say to you, “How DARE you put that coffee table on that rug!”)

First addition was a plant. I went to Bachman’s, wandered around aimlessly until someone came up to assist me (which was right away- I’m good at looking aimless) and asked for a plant that would live well in my office. I had a few criteria:[ul][li]It will get no natural light.[]I’ll probably forget to water it for up to a month at a time.[]It can’t be marijuana.[/ul]The nice lady suggested golden pothos. Over the past three months, the vines have stretched over six feet in every direction. The plant is nicknamed Audrey, and vines run along the cubicle walls, up the wall to the ceiling, and frame my monitor, giving me a nice jungle motif. It’s A Good Thing.[/li]
Second addition was a bunch of crap. One of those yellow-and-black metal ‘FALLOUT SHELTER’ signs went up on the wall above my cube. That’s also framed by plant vines, and is a landmark for directing people to where I am. (“Go into the EBS room, look at the walls; I’m sitting beneath the fallout shelter sign.”) Unfortunately, the fine print on the bottom of the sign says, “DOD FS NO.2 (NOT TO BE REPRODUCED OR USED WITHOUT DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE PERMISSION)”. Thumbing my nose at the government is one thing; thumbing it at the branch of the government which has nuclear bombs is another thing entirely.

More crap: CD artwork. Take an old CD, put it in the microwave, nuke it for 30 seconds. Watch the fun patterns appear. Take another CD and wire cutters, and cut out your initials, or a pattern of your choice. Decorate the wall with more evidence of your pent-up rage.

Other crap: A few dozen empty tins of Penguin Mints, a pile of CDs, a stack of recreational books (recreational? Last Things: Death and Apocalypse in the Middle Ages, Niccolo’s Smile, Lies My Teacher Told Me, etc. Eh.), a baseball glove from the 30s, a rubber-band powered cardboard plane, a foam football with the company logo on it, a broken yo-yo, and assorted other crap.

Now, I suppose, I should get back to work …

30

I eat a lot of candy and cereal while I’m here. Both of these things often come in brightly-coloured wrappings.

I started artistically pinning all the candy bar wrappers to the walls in my cube, and lining up all the coke cans and cereal boxes.

My cube is by farthest the most clourful in this place. It also looks like a convenience store.

My boss calls it the Wall of Shame.

I’m going to take it down soon though, because I’m getting tired of looking at Grape-Nuts boxes (which we all know contains neither Grapes nor Nuts) and Zagnut.

But if you want colour…

31

Beadalin: well, since a high explosives/arachnid scheme is out…and since anything short of gratuitous nudity is okay…

:shit:

Whatever floats your boat. Sounds like you’re headed in the right direction with a “Bender Theme” (“bite my shiny metal ass!” would be my pesonal quote, if my ass was shiny. or metal.)

I personally think that the bondage theme needs to stay at home, or in the beedroom. I wouldn’t want my boss to get ideas about enhancing productivity or improving morale.

Disregard Balance’s shameless jabs at my expense. That scorpion was two feet long and attacking me. It got what it deserved. As far as any alleged propensity towards a destructive personality or anarchaic tendencies, I at least don’t carry pyrotechnics with me to the supper table. Loaded firearms, maybe. But not pyrotechnics.

But even I admit that the “exploding fingers” trick was pretty cool, and a great conversation piece. As a bennie, it wierded out all the other patrons at the restaurant.