Creeping stoplight disease

So we are on our way back from the store and we get stopped at a stoplight. A mini-van pulls alongside us and we sit there waiting. Then the van starts to creep forward. The van crept forward about halfway into the intersection. Now, I have seen people do this before or fail to stop behind the line, but I have never seen anyone go that far across–she almost crossed the intersection.

This would have been bad enough, but then we saw her do it at several more intersections. She would stop behind the line and then creep forward until she was as much as a whole car length across the line.

It was only then that we realized she had Creeping Stoplight Disease (CSD). The main–well, only–symptom appears to be the absolute inability to stop still at a stoplight when it is red.

Much more research is needed before we can really ascertain the cause and the number of people who are afflicted. We also need to get this out into the national media so that people are made aware of CSD and so we can help anyone those who are afflicted.

Have you seen instances of CSD in your area? Has it spread nation-wide or even internationally???

I’ve never seen a case that severe, but the malady is not unknown to me.

It’s a subset of MTPS, or My Time is Precious Syndrome. This syndrome frequently manifests in automotive situations, where sufferers sneak through yellow lights, turn right on red when the signage clearly prohibits it, change lanes abruptly to reach exits, pull out in front of other cars, and in general are inconsiderate asses.
Even off the road, MTPS can degrade the overal quality of life–of the folks who have to deal with the the people MTPS, of course. Symptomatic butting in line, loud complaining, yacking on cell phones at inappropriate times and in inappropriate places, and showing up late for appointments are common.

People with MTPS lack the gene that allows them to realize that their time is not the most precious commodity in the Universe, and as a result, the parts of the brain required for empathy, patience and common sense are atrophied.

Oh, yeah. The best part is when you’re behind someone who’s afflicted and they have creeped so far out that they can’t see if the light has changed and you get to blow your horn and wave your hands at them.

Is this related to Unable To Stop At Line When Light Is Green But Traffic Prevents You From Clearing The Intersection Syndrome?

That pisses me off.

I’ve actually witnessed a person with this disease creep entirely through the intersection, to the other side, whilst the light was still thoroughly red.

Attempting to make a right on a red often triggers an attack of this in the SUV driver to my left.

Have you ever suffered false creeping stoplight disease? Out of the corner of your eye you notice the car beside you is rolling backwards but you think you are rolling forward instead so you push on the brake pedal harder. Or the car next to you is rolling forward giving you the sensation you are rolling backwards. I have inflicted this on innocent folks in the past, that look of embarrassment is priceless.

You mean UTSALWLIGBTPYFCTIS? That’s a pretty bad one but another subset of MTPS, If I Do Not Keep My Vehicle Within One Centimeter Of The One In Front Of Me, I Will Lose Precious Seconds Of My Journey Time And That Would Be Horrible Because My Time is Precious Syndrome (IIDNKMVWOCOTOIFOMIWLPSOMJTATWBHBMTPS), is my favorite. Seriously, when someone comes up behind you, creep forward a little, then stare at the person behind you through your rear-view mirror, as if daring them to stay more than one centimeter behind you. Sometimes, they’ll resist for a few seconds, but you’d be surprised how many people have IIDNKMVWOCOTOIFOMIWLPSOMJTATWBHBMTPS. :dubious:

Even better, is when they get mad at you because you honked and give you the finger.

Before moving to the Detroit area in January, I lived in Oregon, and CSD was something that I rarely saw. Here, I see it almost every time I go out driving.

Just another piece of evidence I have to indicate that the drivers here are slightly more insane and impatient than the ones in Oregon.

“My Time Is Precious Syndrome” is endemic out here. I’ll never forget the time I was commuting to work on I-75: I was in the far right lane, going about ten miles an hour above the speed limit. An SUV came in behind me after having merged onto the interstate, and about five seconds later the driver flashed her brights at me. I wasn’t about to drive any faster, since the car ahead of me was doing the same speed and I had no interest in tailgating. So I simply maintained my speed, and about a minute later, the SUV passed me, the driver giving me the finger as she passed.

I don’t know if this would apply to these particular situations, but when you’re driving a piece of shit beater, as I know having ridden in and owning countless ones, stopping fully could mean a potentially embarassing and dangerous stall.

Mr. Blue Sky, I have seen that happen a few times and it is very amusing.

ruadh, UTSALWLIGBTPYFCTIS is a frequent occurance in downtown Detroit. It seems to happen everytime there is a major event down there and the police don’t seem to help at all.

Atreyu, unfortunately that is something you are going to have to get used to. It happens all the time. And why is it always a huge SUV or truck which seems to do the tailgating?

My all time favorite is “Must Turn HERE” sydrome, where the person will cross as many lanes of traffic necessary to reach the left turn or right turn lane, often by stopping dead in the road and putting their blinker on.

I once watched a woman cross five lanes of traffic, perpendicular to the flow of the other cars, to reach the turn lane on the opposite side of the road. Nothing like having someone parked crosswise in front of you.

heh… we play the ‘drifting game’ here, where we drift forward a couple of feet, stop, see how many people behind us do it too, repeat until light changes.

I doubt there’s anything more gratifying than watching a driver with MTIPS being pulled over by a cop.

When I was in my second year of uni, in Delaware, I was still a fairly new driver. Once whilst stopped at a red light, watching 4 lanes of busy traffic on the cross road, I had a guy behind me who kept creeping up on me, backing off, then zooming forward again & standing on his brakes within inches of my car. He made me rather nervous, and I had to keep an eye on the light, and also he kept distracting me in the mirrors – finally he came forward so quickly he startled me into thinking the light had changed and I’d been asleep at the switch.

I shot into traffic without thinking – if I can get a scanner working, I can show you what my car looked like after I hit someone; I still have dreams about what could have happened had I hit the other car a few seconds later than I did…yes, the accident was my fault, and I know NOW, 15 yrs later, just to ignore these people…oh, by the way, he stayed as a witness for the police and cheerfully told them I was insane. Fortunately for me, the State Trooper cocked an eyebrow at him and suggested maybe he could move along…

More recently – speaking of MTIPS people – was on I-95 southbound coming out of Philadelphia on a Sunday evening, all lanes filled with 75-80 mph traffic, everyone cruising along. I was in the far right lane, a proper car length back from the guy ahead. My immediate left lane was empty…lady in a huge SUV got right up on my Mini’s bottom – any closer, and we’d’ve had to get married,I think – and she started to flash her brights at me. In the far right lane with a wide open passing lane to my left…

Of course she got off at the Christiana Mall, about 1/4 of a mile from where she was flashing her lights at me and blowing the horn…musta been a sale at Macy’s…

i never creep past the line. if there’s a red light, i stop - at the line.
i do, however, enjoy playing a game called “I’m Not Stopping,” where in i slow down as i approach a red light in the hopes that it will turn green and i won’t have to come to a complete stop. It involves verbally threatening the inanimate traffic light as you ease your way up to the intersection. This game is especially fun when you’re in the car with a friend and you’re both late to school.

My favorite are those people who cut in front of everyone when there is traffic on a one-lane road (or soon to be a one lane road). I hope they made good use of the .2 seconds they saved in their precious lives. I try never to let these people in, but sometimes I am unsuccessful because they cut me off anyways.

I’ve actually never seen anyone creep across the line. It must not be a big thing where I am.

I totally ran red lights myself twice, though - accidentally both times. Sometimes my perception of the red light is overridden by the fact that it’s either ridiculously late or ridiculously early and nobody else is around, and I drive right through, not even picking up on the fact that the light was red until afterwards - then going “HOLY CRAP, WHAT DID I DO?”

There was no danger each of the two times I did it, as nobody else was on the road either time. But jeez, I don’t want to ever do it again.

I play “I’m Not Stopping” too. :smiley: It’s excellent.

The worst case of CSD I ever saw was at about 6:45 am on a Saturday.

I was driving to work on a two-lane 45mph road, and the guy in front of me was being friggin’ infuriating! He refused to stop fully for each and every red light, would creeeeep at least halfway across before it turned green, and STOMPONTHEGAS … up to 35. Never would go a whit over 35 for 2 1/2 miles, but at every friggin’ stop light … (I think that stretch of road has 5 or 6 lights!)