When I was in Rome, I wish I’d bought this godawful piece of kitsch I saw in a tourist shop. A full-color close-up photo of (an actor portraying) Jesus hanging on the cross. It was covered with one of those gratings that shows a different picture if you tilt it at a different angle. If you tilted this picture, it showed Jesus’s eyes opening and closing. Just the audiovisual aid for Good Friday services. Open eyes: “Into thy hands I commend my spirit.” Tilt, close eyes: “Uhhh…!”
Those candles are supposed to last 24 hours and they are cheaper than scented ones.
I myself buy Shabbat candles when they go on sale at the supermarket for emergency purposes. I think a box of 72 costs about two bucks.
Robin
From Haiti: a carved-wood figurine of a naked beggar wearing a barrel. When you lift the barrel, a prodigious portion of the male anatomy springs up. :rolleyes:
My mom has her gallstones in a vial in her bedside table. She originally planned to have them mounted on jewelery, but never got around to it. The nurses told us that many patients want to keep kidney and other stones.
Back To The OP
Many gulf states sell shellacked aligator and cayman heads. I’ve got a five inch long specimen my sister brought back from her honeymoon in New Orleans.
I’ve also got some dentures. When my great Uncle Max died, he left behind some spare dentures. His neice thought that with my tendency to odd craft projects and elaborate Halloween costumes, I might want them and that Uncle Max would want me to have them. Initially, I found the idea disturbing. Then, I decided that she was right. One of these days, I’m going to get some friends over here and make a killer snowman.
Well my dad has an album entitled Marching Songs of the Third Reich, performed by the Herman Goerring Chorus. It includes such lively ditties as “Marching Through Poland” and “Bombs Over England”, performed in jolly fashion to the accompaniment of a hearty oom-pah band.
One of my roommates in college told me about his great-grandmother, something of a legend in his family. Like her cousin Bonnie Parker (of Bonnie & Clyde fame) she was a hellraiser during the Great Depression. One of her husbands (the third one, I think) decided to claim his husbandly “right” of a little nookie one evening when she was most definitely not in the mood. During the ensuing struggle she grabbed a hatpin – one of those seven-inch long steel types – and jammed it in the back of his neck, killing him instantly. For whatever reason, probably along the lines of “he needed killin’”, she never faced charges for the incident. Incidentally, the family still has the hatpin.
Away in a casket
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Looks awfully dead
The cattle are lowing
The Lord has turned blue
“Pray for resurrection”
The cows softly moo.
Ha, ha!
I wonder if Miller’s mother isn’t planning to use it in an Easter display – maybe something using a remote-controlled, animatronic Jesus figure rising from the coffin…?
BWAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA! Case Sensitive you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to hell and I’m ridin’ right beside ya for laughin’ so long and loud over this. 
I have an aunt who has pictures of her oldest son in his casket in her parlor. Those pictures were taken in 1962. I don’t think anybody has been in her parlor for years. It’s just so creepy. Little framed photos of my cousin all over the place.
And, they’re Kosher!
Perfect for Pat Robertson-demanded disasters!
Robin
I am reminded of the Orthodox prayer “thank you for making me a man”
which is interpreted by Conservatives as “thank you for making me a Jew” and
by Reform Jews as “thank you for not making me Pat Robertson.”
;j
My grandmother and her second husband had one of those. I think it was lost when their house burned down.
What a shame. 
:dubious:
Robin
My dad is a big-game hunter who mounts his “souvenirs.” :rolleyes: He mounted a deer butt mounted on the wall . . . bad enough, but where the anus was they’ve installed an electric pencil sharpener 
Too bad it was a deer instead of a puma - then you could say it was a cat-ass trophe.
I have a small envelope in my desk in which are my last two wisdom teeth to come out. I have every intention of having them made into cufflinks one of these days.
(Bolding mine)
Yeah, those tourist traps always cheap out and get the merchandise with the actor instead of the real Jesus.
Well, my great uncle has an Ushanka. He picked it up in Korea…off the head of a Chinese guy at Chosin.
Well, actually, I think it’s cool.
I have a penis gourd from New Guinea. Loads of fun getting people to guess what it is. They usually guess right thinking they’re just being funny.
When I was a kid, my maternal grandparents went to South America and bought me a wooden letter opener that had the head of a baby caiman as the grip.
One of my great-uncles fought in New Guinea during World War II and brought back a Japanese flag that he claimed he took from a soldier who lay dead on the battlefield. The flag was marked with some Japanese writing which (as far as I know) has never been translated, despite occasional expressions of determination to “find someone who reads Japanese and can tell us if these are names of the dead man’s buddies, inspirational slogans, or whatever”.