Crib notes by famous actors.

Cafe Society
1

Recently a friend in the movie biz showed me his collection of crib cards used by famous Hollywood actors. They use them to stay in character and ensure the energy of their performance. Written on a single card they provide a great insight into how big name stars work.

I recall a few:

Al Pacino - SHOUT. SHOUT A LOT. Then don’t shout for a while. THEN SHOUT EVEN MORE.

Jack Nicholson - Laugh or smile at the most inappropriate moments. Leer too.

Bill Murray - when they call out Bill they mean me, unless someone else is named Bill. Anyway they will find me in my trailer.

Has anyone else spotted any?

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W. C. Fields – Have another drink.

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Steven Seagal: Hold in your gut! Hold in your gut! Hold in your gut! Punch someone in the cock! Cut! Release your gut!

4

Jessica Lange- show that a character is neurotic by talkingreallyfastforawhile then switching to a slower pace then repeat and cycle.

Kevin Costner- just be yourself. Whether you’re a midwestern farmer, a medieval English freedom fighter, a Prohibition era G-man, or a spy, play him like a laid back aging yuppie. Emoting is the sign of a weak actor.

Robert Duvall- there are two characters: one with a southern accent and one without. Choose which one you are playing.

5

Robert DeNiro: When in doubt, squint and sneer.

Orlando Bloom: If you’re shirtless, put down the sword; if you put your shirt on, pick up the sword.

Meryl Streep: There are two accents: American and not-American. Not American covers Polish, Italian, Spanish, and if you ever get a role in a STAR TREK movie playing the queen of an octopus like people from a newly discovered planet, it will sound like them too.

Timothy Olyphant: Just read the lines off the teleprompter; a great actor never has to change expression. They’ll know the character is mad when he starts fighting or in love when he starts kissing someone.

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Christopher Walken: Remember to pronounce the ‘O’ in that funny way that makes people laugh. Everything else will take care of itself.

7

Keanu Reeves: Dude, don’t say “dude”. You’ll totally get typecast.

8

Scarlett Johansson: Always maintain dumb blank face. To express emotion, leave mouth hanging open.

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9

Ashton Kutcher: Every once in a while, try playing the character as a doofus.

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Harpo Marx – Don’t speak.

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Marcel Marceau:

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Sissy Spacek: When in doubt, southern accent!

Alec Baldwin: When in doubt, lock the jaw!
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Gwyneth Paltrow: When in doubt, limpid stare!
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Sean Connery: When in doubt, angry stare!
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Daniel Craig:** When in doubt, stare that makes people think you’re about to inflict grievous bodily injury upon their person!

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David Caruso: Wait for the other guy to finish his line. Take off your sunglasses. Say your line. Put your sunglasses back on. Repeat.

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God Damn I wish I’d thought of that. Good one.
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15

Bruce Willis: When it doubt, play character as world-weary alcoholic.

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Steve Buscemi: Bulge eyes more, make hair stringier. Adam Sandler may be hiring.

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Adam Sandler: People like it when I yell. Especially when I yell with a Louisiana-like accent.

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Marlon Brando: If your scene partner won’t let you stick your lines on him, try mumbling a little. This will work. Trust me.

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James Earl Jones: Don’t even worry about it; you can read the lyrics to a Kevin Federline song and make them sound beautiful and thoughtful.

Matthew McConaughey: When in doubt take your shirt off.

Zac Efron: When in doubt look hurt, then dance.

Eddie Murphy: When in doubt, latex.

Mike Myers: When in doubt, latex and a weird accent from somewhere in the UK.

Michael Cera: For this role something completely different- let’s try ‘puppy dog eyed virginal geek who wants to be bad ass and play-ah but is really a sweet harmless sensitive nerd… but this time with glasses!’

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Tom Cruise: Stand on tip-toes