Criminal farting- man passes gas, gets charged with crime

Why can’t I ever get cases like this?

“Sir, you are charged with criminal farting. How do you plead?”

“Not guilty, your honor. It was the arresting officer who farted.”

“And, sir, on what do you base that assertion?”

“He who smelt it, dealt it!”


That officer will live to regret his trumped up charges. His fellow officers will see to it. When I worked for a police department, one officer made the mistake of tearing up reporting that a dog had been hit. For weeks afterward, everytime he got on the radio, you’d hear barking, howling and sobbing courtesy of his fellow officers.

Can you imagine what they’ll do to the officer who was farted on?

Hmmm, this guy is taking thread shitting to a whole new level. Seriously, what judge isn’t going to throw this out. Last time I checked battery involved an unwanted touching. Did the officer get shit upon? Methinks not. No battery. Was he in imminent fear of being pooped on? That might constitute assault. It’s still a bogus charge and an abuse of power.

What happens to the guy who did it? He gets charged with assaulting a police officer, that carries the possibility of prison correct?

“What did you do?”
“I farted on a guy”
I see that ending well.

Charged with obstruction?

Didn’t look like he had an obstruction to me! :smiley:

I remember a civil battery case case from law school where some radio show hosts were harassing an anti-smoking advocate on their show by repeatedly blowing cigar smoke in his or her face; the court ruled that smoke was “particulate matter capable of making contact.” Maybe the prosecution could get a conviction upheld here with some expert testimony about the precise chemical compsition of farts. Why, this could go all the way to the Supreme Court!

The link’s been updated, the headline is now “Prosecutors Drop Battery Charge Against Man Accused of Passing Gas.” I swear, when are we finally going to get tough on crime and get some prosecutors who aren’t afraid to crack down on cop-farters?

Well, he’s just lucky he wasn’t also charged with the use of a silencer.

Obviously, the man wasn’t the only one who was full of hot air.

Well, I see WV has lived up to its reputation AGAIN for being fucked up and backwards…:smack:

“I fart in your general direction!”

He didn’t use a silencer; it wasn’t deadly.