I’m curious about why fighting wasn’t an option for you. I guess it’s because I don’t really understand the whole “pacifist” thing. I always see violence as the last resort. It’s just not worth it to pick a fight everytime someone bumps into you in a bar or sneers at you the wrong way. Violence IS an option, however. I don’t feel that a person is under any moral obligation to sit there and take a beating without fighting back.
I think I would like to see the schools be held responsible if a kid is being picked on every day. If we are entrusting our kids to an institution for a greater part of the day, we should feel that they are in a safe environment. Have you ever heard of someone getting picked on and beaten every day at work? Why is it acceptable in schools?
Litigation can’t protect someone. Even if you charged a kid who assaults your kid, you still have to prove it. If there are no witnesses, its just your kids word against the other kids.
Except that…it doesn’t. Your kid has still been assaulted. A couple times of this might end a pattern of getting routinely beat up, but the most likely next outcome is an even more vicious pattern of emotional assault.
“Ohhh you’d better not pick L’il Cartooniverse last, you might get arrrrressssted.”
“Hey, you better not talk about getting arrested, you might get arrested! Shhh! He’s looking.”
Repeat every day for the rest of his school career. It’ll “work” insofar as fewer bruises…on the outside.
Any parents who raise their child as a strict pacifist is pretty much guaranteeing they’ll get beat up a lot. That’s a damn shame, and I’m truly sorry it was done to you. But the best way to keep your child from being the target of violence is to let them know you stand by self-defense when needed–not that you’ll be ready to call the cops after they’ve been pummeled bloody.
I was beat up every day for years. I was tortured in everyway a child below 13 could think of. Nightcrawlers were tangled in my hair as four held me down and then I was released. Every time I brought this torture, the beating to the attention of a teacher, either both I and my assailants were punished equally, or I was punished and my assailants were allowed to go free because if one child is in many fights with different other children then obviously the one always in the fight is the bully. Teachers told me if I would not scream so much then I would not be picked on. They saw my being beaten and did nothing. I was told that young children need to sort these things out themselves in order to learn social interaction. My torture culminated in being raped by a 12 year old that had been held back as I was held down by many others and hundreds cheered on my attacker. When I reported this, as when I reported them stripping me of my clothing and hiding it my teacher told me that I was a liar and that if I told anyone they would know that I was a liar and everyone hates a liar, did I want my mother to hate me?
Obviously the teachers need to recognize that it doesn’t always take two to tango. Then need to step in when they see kids being harrassed and mistreated. They need to teach that behaving like that is not just part of childhood, but that it is wrong and that they will get into trouble. They should keep watch that the harrassment doesn’t escalate and stop any physical assaults immediately. There are even times when calling in outside authorities is appropriate, but it would not be as necessary as often if stupid notions like “it takes two to tango” and “kids need ot sort this out without interference” were replaced with the goal of teching our children to treat each other well.