And done excellently. That’s a wonderful little movie.
Try not to be angry about it, OK? Sheesh.
The speculation is fun.
The one reason I don’t think it’s a Godzilla thing: there’s an obviously mystical slant to it. “The god of life and death sent me to punish all evil.”
Of course, that’s also a reason it won’t be Cthulhu. Cthulhu wouldn’t give a shit about punishing evil, nor about “the god of life and death.” Cthulhu would simply feed.
Ha.
I defer to the classic discussion (paraphrased) in the introduction to the “Cthulhu Now” roleplaying game, when addressing modern weapons:
Cthulhu does have bones and meat on 'im. Most of its creatures are not like that.
Heh. I remember that. But it’s not true to the Mythos; Cthulhu was an awful foe. But what you all totally missed and what I was talking about is that such a creature is not really all that frightening. It’s… a big ugly freak. It’s only esoteric writing and NOT showing you the monster which makes it scary.
Take another look at Aliens. These things get splattered by men with guns. They’re nasty, but no more so than a tiger. In fact, their size actually makes them pretty large targets. In the legion of movie monsters, they’re less impressive than many vampires, werewolves, the Mummy from the more recent The Mummy, etc. Look at Aliens, though. The Xenomorphs lost even though they killed the marines. On what was now their own turf, outnumbering their enemies by who-knows-how-much, when they were screwed by incompetent leadership and back-stabbing bureaucrats, and where they staged several ambushes. And they STILL lost what, 6-7 aliens per human killed? Oooh, but they can be really nasty hunting down unarmed humans. Big furry deal.
Then again, in Alien 4 (crappy movie) their acid blood now paralyzed people when it touched them. Or something. I couldn’t figure that one out.
But even if he does have bones and meat, it’s still bones and meat that can’t be killed by weapons. You claimed that the monsters aren’t scary unless you don’t have weapons; I’m pointing out that it doesn’t matter whether you have weapons or not. If you shoot him, you just make him angry.
Technically, they get splattered by men with future guns, which are presumably in use by then because they’re more effective than modern guns. Even so, they keep coming, because they do not care.
Which would be fine, except tigers don’t spew deadly acid on you when you shoot them. I suggest that acid-spewing tigers are a valid cause for fear whether you are armed or not. Especially when there’s the chance they might not just kill you, but drag you back to their nest, cocoon you in mucus, and have sex with your lungs until you are impregnated with their spawn.
In summary: acid-spewing, lung-humping tigers.
All of which have supernatural powers and thus can’t really be killed by conventional weaponry at all.
If I recall the movie aright, the only humans who survived did so by running away. Far from losing on the ground, the Xenomorphs forced a planetary retreat, and were only defeated by a nuclear strike. Meanwhile, the “queen” was only killed after she voluntarily tore herself in half (having already survived multiple grenade hits), and then only with the aid of a powered exoskeleton.
I suspect that if the colony had been the scene of a tragic circus accident resulting in the accidental release of several hundred tigers, the colonists probably wouldn’t even have needed to call for help to solve the problem, even if the tigers were nesting under the cooling towers. It’s probably a safe bet that a squad of Colonial Marines wouldn’t have been wiped out to a man by a herd of tigers.
There was no Alien 4.
Is that website actually tied in with the movie? It seemed to have a lot less work put into it then the other three. I suspect someone uninvolved in the movie just made it as a joke.
I frankly have absolutely no idea. 
I agree with your other points but there certainly was a fourth Alien movie, which could be loosely described as Alien 4, *Alien:Resurrection
*. Even an Alien 5 if you count Aliens v Predators.
It would seem that Cthulhu is, however, vulnerable to gravity, and more importantly, can’t float. 
The M41A Pulse Rifle fires a 10mm Caseless round; while the exact ballistic specs are never given (and let’s be honest, it’s a fictional calibre and firearm, so such a discussion would be academic at best anyway), but given that the Pulse Rifle is designed for use in spacecraft and extraterrestrial colonial buildings where over-penetration is a serious concern, the 10mm Caseless round is most likely comparable to the .40 S&W, .357 SIG, or .45ACP round, and at best it’s going to be comparable to a 5.56 NATO or 7.62x39 Soviet round. In short, a Xenomorph could be put down by pretty much any centrefire rifle round, and most handgun cartridges above .357 Magnum. In fact, Hicks manages to neutralise several of the Xenomorph with a 12ga shotgun, which makes it pretty clear that Xenomorph are just as vulnerable as humans to small arms fire. Having said that, you can bring down an Elephant with a .303 British cartridge (and many people have), but realistically something like a .500 Holland & Holland is going to be a lot more effective at doing so.
I’m still waiting for Alien 3. 
Well, I figure that he just woke up long enough to hit the snooze alarm, as it were.
*“Aaaahhh… that was a good sleep of death… ah well, quick cup of coffee and then back to the old grind… What the–?! Those stars aren’t right! What time is it anyway? Goddamn Daylight Savings… Gah! And now here’s a ship plowing right through me! That’s just perfect. Screw this, I’m calling in sick.” *
I think we’ve all had mornings like that.
Thank you for that comprehensive analysis! However, you left out the most important detail: if you are armed with one, should you still be afraid of Cthulhu?
Yeah, like that’ll ever happen. Maybe they could reboot the franchise with Newt as a young adult or something.
IIRC, Cthulhu’s body wasn’t his dangerous weapon. It was the sheer overpowering aura of psychic death he would radiate just by virtue of being awake. If actually killed he’d just be killed. Although it’s possible that a more powerful being could ressurect him, or something. But the danger wasn’ that Cthulhu’d wake up and eat the planet; it was that if he woke up an unprepared mankind would all go instantly mad from the sheer devastating power of his brainwaves.
While googling around, I came across this blog which has a purported design sheet for the monster in question. If it’s the real deal, I think it looks kinda interesting. Especially if it’s got no connection to Godzilla (as much as I love the big guy) or any other established monster franchise.
Kind of a whaley head. I wonder if it’s supposed to be Leviathan (from the bible.)
Oh, and if it’s accurate, then the smaller critters are obviously based on deep-sea giant isopods.
I wonder if this movie is an attempt to get at the whole Cthulhu/Dagon/Deep Ones idea without actually having Cthulhu/Dagon/Deep Ones.