I was checking out Retrocrush’s Top 100 Monsters , and Cthulhu is on this list, even though the webmaster commented that there’s very little that exists of the Great Elder God visually except for some posters and “Hello Cthulhu” dolls. The Z-grade movies made that were supposedly based on Lovecraft didn’t touch Cthulhu at all, and come to think of it, It only appeared in a couple of HP’s stories.
There’s also a role playing game, but that’s how D&D was made into a movie, so let’s not go there…
So let’s pretend that somehow somebody sells Hollywood on the idea of making a Call of Cthulhu movie, and its production values are going to be in the neighborhood of Lord of the Rings quality.
Remember, don’t base your comments on what Hollywood should do, since that’s not a reality. Post about what they would if the Big C got the green light. Remember, movie producers are going to want a project that will guarantee a blockbuster, and they’re going to throw in any gimmick or formula they think will attract moviegoers.
Naturally, they can use CGI for most of Cthulhu’s likeness, and probably a multi-user puppet with boocoos of prosthetics and robot arms, like Jabba the Hut, for closeups with actors. If it’s anything like the short story, Cthulhu would only be in the movie for a few minutes, unless they decide to make It another Godzilla type monster, where It goes around rampaging and destroying cities.
I’m guessing Hollywood’s not going to go for the cast being a bunch of stuffy professors, so the cast will be the handsome/cute action hero, the busty babe, and a couple of smarmy friends who get eaten at some point. I doubt the script would be anything approaching a psychological drama, even though the main thing that made Lovecraft’s stories frightening was not the monsters, but the possibility of normal people losing their fragile grip on reality. It would probably be something along the lines of a rich unscrupulous corporate type du jour thinks he can make a deal with the devil, and gets these gothy White Wolf RPG type sorcerers to summon the Big C, then lose control of the situation. It’s up to the heroes to somehow lure the monster back into the Abyss from which It came.
Now if they were able to stage a scene where the Big C emerges from the ocean and the rules of reality get turned inside out within a mile of the beast, that’d probably be cool, but there’s bound to be something to insult the audience’s intelligence up to that point. They’d probably have slimy minions lurking around in baseball stadiums or something up to that point, kidnapping homeless people to use as sacrifices.
So, any ideas who Hollywood would cast as Action Hero, Busty Babe, Comic Relief 1 & 2, Annoying Screaming Kid, Villanous Corporate Exec, Eccentric Scientist, Insane Cult Leader, Rough and Ready Army General, US President, and what they would shill for Product Endorsement?