Yeah, that’s gonna reassure the parents of small children, for sure.
Maybe a college fair/festival would be better suited? Sorry it didn’t work out.
Better yet, find out when Kirk Cameron’s “Way of the Master” show is coming to your area.
OTTOMH within an easy drive of the Fringe Festival are-Temple, Drexel, Penn State, Arcadia, U Penn, University Of The Arts. About half the patrons I’ve seen were college students.
But, the Fest isn’t over until the 17th. I got good responses today by cutting serious preaching with nuzzling my plush Cthulhu (from the fine folks at Toy Vault) and saying things like “Ohh yes they will! Wike widdle dominoes! The cities of man shall fall before oo.”. I also had some good responses to a shtick based on ‘I’m sick of this AntiDagonite prejudice! My religion is just as valid as anybody else’s! I’ve had it up to hear with people mocking me just because my god has tentacles!’
I need to bring many more props in order to re-enact various Mythos stories.
An interesting note- A man coming out of the box office correctly identified the cuneiform, preSemitic, and Hittite characters on my sacred vestments. I copied them from a book titled Lost Languages and was quite impressed.
(Unless I’ve once again lost track of what day it is)
Thursday- Due to rain, I’ll probably be performing in Suburban Station. I’ve seen Nation Of Islam members selling papers there, and a saxophonist usually performs by the subway surface station, so I think I won’t have guards hassling me.
Friday and Saturday- I’ll be performing by the Fringe Festival box office at 109 Arch Street. Roughly from noon to at least five and possibly as late as nine. If any Dopers show up, please bring cameras. So far, none of the people who have taken my picture have given contact information, or done me the courtesy of asking permission (I know it’s not necessary, no expectation of privacy, public place etc, still it would be nice) or left a tip.
I’m not sure any of you care any more. But, just in case here it is. NOTE- Please excuse the quality of the prose. It’s been a long fest.
I had forgotten the Fringe Festival was so early in the fall. As a result, I had not applied and was not listed in any official programs. I also hadn’t really had time to prepare an act. I grabbed my priest of Cthulu Halloween gear and hit the streets, figuring I would improvise and improve as the Fest went on.
I grossly overestimated the number of people who were familiar with the Cthulhu Mythos. The first day, over ninety percent of pedestrians thought I was an actual raving street preacher. This was not helped by the fact that rather than a Jersey accent, or a New England accent, I found myself talking in a typical missionary voice. So, the next day I replaced my weird chrome vase donation jar with a hollow alien head. I brought my plush Cthulhu. These changes didn’t really help.
The folding shopping proved unsuitable as a stage foundation. The bags I’d brought couldn’t hold enough props.
I need a new color cartridge. I had hoped to print promotional flyers and destruction pamphlets at the apartment of some artist friends. She could use her skill as an illustrator to create marvellous flyers I could use without feeling guilty. He could use his skills as a photographer to document my work, make flyers that clearly identified me as a performer playing a part, and portraits I could e-mail to friends and family. They ran into unexpected problems (the apartment, not their relationship.), and unexpected overtime. I had counted on their help and they were unable to give it.
I composed a flyer on my computer. I can’t find paintbrush or anything else on this machine and Windows is currently so shaky on this thing I fear what would happen if I install the imaging and publishing programs I wanted. Fortunately, I had installed a group of true-type-fonts featuring symbols from WhiteWolf’s World Of Darkness games. The geek who’d made the fonts had given permission to re-use them. White Wolf had also given permission for re-use in things not meant to be sold etc. I printed a batch of flyers.
The Fest box office has large tables of flyers for various shows. I found an empty spot. I was having problems with my toy theatre version of Insmouth. I realized I hadn’t actually read the story in a while. I had more props. But transporting them, the two folding camping stools, etc was a problem. I also had trouble finding the right prop when needed. I was also not getting enough sleep, food or water.
I printed up more flyers. I remembered that I still had a bunch of colored markers. I used those to add color, designs, illustrations etc to the flyers. I discovered that using a camping stool, the lid from the rubbermaid tote I transported the props in, a second camping stool, and a ouija board as the stage left me with nothing to sit on. On the positive side, I also discovered that the cops and the security guards of many outdoor venues did not remotely care about me. I was perfoming the toy play when two bicycle cops rode by. They immediately classified me as either homeless lunatic or street performer, decided I wasn’t breaking any laws and literally did not give me a second glance.
Kids could see that I was a clown. Parents couldn’t. The kids wanted baloon animals, funny faces, magic tricks etc. The parents were afraid of me. That hurt a lot. I had brought the clown outfit I was working on, a bathrobe altered into a tailcoat with the trimmings being made into a tophat. My plan had been to don my Cthulhu costume on train to the Fest, but stay out of character and explain my act (didn’t work. After using the word “fiction” twice in explaining my act, one man still changed seats so as not to be near a “devil worshipper”). Before leaving the Fest, I would pack my Cthulhu things away and go home dressed as a clown in an attempt to make money. A father and his two sons found me while I was changing costumes. The boys got balloons. I showed them my strange toys. I performed magic. The older boy, seven years of age, didn’t believe in magic. He demanded explanations, examined everything, and peered intently at my tricks. He almost literally climbed into my lap as I made a ball disappear from a cup. I still fooled him. I entertained them for at least half an hour. It was wonderful. The only way it could have been better is for there have to been more kids. That, or if dad had left me a tip.
I switched from the rigid ouija board to a folding game board. This was much easier to transport and further clarified that I was not a sincere raving lunatic. I continued adding props for the show. I practiced new material.
It rained on thursday. I wondered if I would be allowed to perform in the underground complex of Suburban Station. The first problem turned out to be finding a spot that wasn’t taken. There were performers everywhere. I found a nice spot and performed for about two hours. Then, SEPTA security told me I needed a permit and asked me to leave. I courteously made it clear that I acknowledged their authority and would pack my things. I knew the vendor close to me had an official permit. I hadn’t planned to ask about him, but the guards told me anyway. I did forget to ask my intended question-do the other performers have permits? Are you singling me out because I look strange and some people may find me frightening? I craved Chinese food. I saw that the rain had stopped and went above ground. Then, I had a profound spiritual experience.
Witnessing is fine with me. If you honestly feel your beliefs would benefit others and want to share them, go right ahead. I have a massive problem with Jews For Jesus. The organization was founded by a liar, for the purposes of lying. A J4J was preaching and handing out pamphlets. I thought for a second, then I knew what I must do. I put my costume back on. For the next few hours, I stood within arm’s length of the lying liar and raved loudly. Anybody within a block could hear that WE were Jews For Cthulhu. I accentuated every frightening or disturbing behaviour I had toned down for my act. “He waits and dreams in the deep! Just like it says in OUR red pamphlets!” People had to watch for my jutting, shaking staff. People actually thought that we were together. I only stopped when he met up with two more lying liars in a scheduled rendevous to go lie somewhere else.
Nothing much happened Friday. Saturday, the father and two sons came by again. I let them play with the many toys I’d brought for the show. An adult actually requested to see the play. But, he left around scene two. He said that my show was clearly not for adults. I disagree strongly. But, he did make a very useful suggestion- a table. By putting the rubbermaid tote on a camping stool and attaching my spare vestments with duct tape, I had a small table that provided a psychological barrier between me and the audience, and clearly marked me as a performer.
Somebody actually asked before taking my picture. He also took a flyer and was kind enough to make a donation ($0.73 very generous considering he could only stay for about five minutes). Eventually, it began to rain heavily. On the spur of the moment, I attempted to get the theater crowd to join me in singing the classic “It’s Raining Men”. Nobody did.
I’m sorry it didn’t go well. I thought it was a fantastic idea. Do you think you could do your act at a comic or anime convention? The chances of people recognising Cthulhu and appreciating your act would be much higher.
Table rent at conventions is high. The average fan there may have better toys, props, etc than I use in the toy play. The risk of being outgeeked is high. The standards would also be higher. My simple vestments ( a bizarre coat/cloak that originally belonged to my mom, strips of old bed sheets with runes written in permanent marker) and felt Cthulhu bust are fine for an independent theatre production. At a convention, where some fans have spent hundreds on their costumes, people demand more. But, if the need arises I can always pull things back together.
I’ve been considering possibilities for next year’s festival. So far, I have two strong contenders-
Folktales For Little Folk (working title)
Toy theater, but with a much better portable theater. I use a Russian accent and re-enact Russian/Slavic/Baltic/etc stories. The primary story will be about Baba Yaga.
The guy with the Punch and Judy show did very well. I have most of the props I’d need. I should be able to create a suitable mini-theatre from things I already have. Philly has a lot of Soviet immigrants, and a few posters translated into Russian, Ukrainian etc would draw them as well.
Far Below
This is arguably the greatest story ever published in Weird Tales. No spoilers- there are monsters who dwell in the darkness under the earth. What happens when our subway tunnels meet warrens? The story is largely the narration or one man. It takes place in a dark control room.
I can keep the theatre dark, and set up various controls to trigger recorded sound effects. EG I seem to be adjusting a knob but, turning the knob actually triggers the recording of officer Redshirt saying “Sir, I think I see something!”
How about a reenactment of the murder of Rasputin, or is that too gory for you?
You can also find artist’s conceptions of some Mythos beings in Barlowe’s Guide to Extraterrestrials (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0894803247/qid=1127089849/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-2245585-9041458?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) and Barlowe’s Guide to Fantasy (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0061052388/qid=1127090004/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-2245585-9041458?v=glance&s=books).
And there are various “Cthulhu Plushies” on the market (I’ve got one on my desk! 
). See:
http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html
http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/nyarlethotep.html
http://www.needcoffee.com/html/toys/scthulhu.htm
http://www.anime.me.uk/gallery/details.php?image_id=1515
If it can be done with polyester, it can be done with rubber! 
Guinastasia The main problem with that is the well-known tale of the Mad Monk’s death isn’t true. There are others problems- I’d need to get contacts. It would be tough to portray a theme or tell a story other than poisoning, clubbing, shooting, crawling, more shooting, and drowning.
Some kind of Rasputin one-man show could work. But, it would take serious work. I’d either have to find a local Siberian/Ukranian to coach me in the accent or buy a tape from this drama store I was at once. There would have to be in depth research into his life, views, and numerous aspects of life in Russia at the time. I’d have to decide whether to portray him as a charlatan, or devout lunatic. I’d have to decide whether to portray a certain view of him or play him as a confusing and impossible to judge.
OTOH, I could begin by screaming at the audience that they shouldn’t mock me. I declare “I am a great man!” and drop my pants to expose-
a squeeze bottle of Rasputin mustard. “Is your face on bottle of mustard? Ha! And look! Czar Nicholas has brand of bread. If only there was Czarina cold cuts and Prince cheese, we could make a grand and holy sandwich.”
Alternately, I could start by smashing Anastasia merchandise with a hammer. “Lies! Lies! I was a holy man! My powers came from God! I would never harm the Royal Family! That woman was a lying bitch trying to make her fortune on the sacred graves of the Romanovs! As for the white bat… I kind of like the white bat. Christ sometimes appeared to me in such a way. His skin was white as new fallen snow of Siberia glowing beneath a full moon. His eyes pink as new wounds. Celine Dion! (Cursing in Russian) Shrieking bird! When I get my hands on you, your heart won’t go on!”
One of the troupes performing this year did manage to rent an unused church for their venue. If I went with a well researched portrayal of Rasputin as insane/touched by the Lord and made the right comments about the Romanovs (for those of you who are not Guinastasia the Russian Orthodox Church formally made them Passionbearers, the lowest level of saint) I might even be able to convince a Russian Orthodox church to allow me to schedule performances there between services.
I have a copy.
I’ve read it. IMHO, not as good as the first. The ET guide pictured generic individuals of certain species and avoided spoilers. The Fantasy guide pictured specific characters, and contained spoilers.
In any event, my problem was never finding images. I started collecting Cthulhu images years ago when I made the priest of Dagon costume. I’ve got quite a few megabytes. But, the pictures don’t help with making the creatures from balloons.
I bought myself ToyVault’s original Cthulhu plush when it was first released. Some friends gave me ToyVault’s Super Cthulhu for my last birthday.
I also own ToyVault’s plush Baba Yaga and The Hut On Chicken Legs. If I do perform a Russian folktale show, this plush will be used for far away scenes- EG when the protagonist glimpses Baba Yaga flying overhead in a mortar)
With clown balloons, all segments tend to be thin and cylindrical. Unless you can pop an intermediate bubble and tie off adjoining bubbles, and construct the thing so that the tension holding it together doesn’t fall apart when you pop a bubble, you’re limited to two protruding ends. Any limb that extends from the body must have a twin which returns to the body. Unless I do some mental gymnastics and some popping or use multiple balloons, the horns of a Nightgaunt must touch at the tips. The left and right hands must touch. The left and right feet must touch. etc.
Not when you’re working in non-Euclidean geometry, dude!
Sorry I didn’t get to see your act, DocCathode. Thanks for freaking out the J4J people; they need it.