Cubs Sweep Cards


It’s a sign of the apocalypse, I tell ya!

Gotta admit. I (as a long time genetically programmed Cubs fan) have been avoiding these threads. It’s dangerous, I tell you.


I can feel it washing over me! Go Cubs Go! Up by 5 games with 1/3 of the season over with!

And here’s an amusing storie to prove how hardcore a fan I am…

September 1989. I’m at college. The Cubs are in first place in the NL East. I’m playing in intramural football.

I take a nasty hit to the head. Blammo! Concussion central.

First they ask me where I am. I can’t answer. They’re worried.

Then they ask me to spell my last name. I can’t. They’re terrified.

Then they ask me where the Cubs are in the standings. I don’t know. They’re peeing in their pants that I’m gonna die.

I ask where the Cubs are. They tell me they’re in first. I then ask what month it is (another sign, so one would think, that my brains are scrambled). They tell me September.

They tell me I sung right out with, “That can’t be right. It’s September. The Cubs can’t be in first place in September!”

Exit, yours truly, in an ambulance to Cumberland Memorial Hospital.

You can stop laughing now.

Um…I am happy for you, Lance.

So, I won’t mention the Mariners, who have…well, by golly, they have just completed their third sweep! Hey, imagine that!

I will also not mention the fact that they not only have the best record in baseball this season, they are rapidly approaching the time when they will have the best record in baseball EVER!

No, I won’t mention that. Not me, I have too much class.


Cards fan here, hanging head in shame for now, but finding solace in the fact that, if history has taught us anything, come October, the Cubbies will be back in the basement. :smiley:

::Does a happy dance::

Take that Crunchy!
BTW-does the tarp roller have warning lights and a siren yet? :slight_smile:

Don’t make me go through history and start listing Cub flubs. :stuck_out_tongue:

as a long time loyal cubs fan I can only say two things

  1. woo hoo go cubs!

  2. theres baseball in October?

Yeah, Crunchy, take that :wink:

And you should really consider warning lights on the rolling ad signs, at the very least. That whole Bill Mueller thing was sorta nasty.

But it’s still better than getting attacked by a tarp.

Now, for the true source of all evil in Chicago, the White Sox…


No matter what obscure fact you pull out of the archives about my beloved Cubbies (and I’ve been a fan since I was three years old so I know most of them)…

** Nothing tops the Vince Coleman vs. the tarp roller. **

Come on…he couldn’t have outrun it? He didn’t hear it coming?

[sub] And I watched Ron Cey try for an inside the park HR…watching the Penguin round third at full steam-well for him anyway-that was funny. But not as funny as the Tarp Roller Incident.[/sub]

Have you ever been on a big league field?[sup]1[/sup] Those tarp rollers are deceptively fast and as stealthy as a panther![sup]2[/sup] Quite frankly, I’m surprised more people have been run over by the tarps.

I once saw a tarp roller overtake a cheetah.[sup]3[/sup]
No, really. I saw it happen.[sup]4[/sup]

Something should really be done about those damn things.

[sup]1[/sup] I haven’t been on a big-league field, just wondering if you have.
[sup]2[/sup] I know absolutely nothing about tarp rollers.
[sup]3[/sup] That statement is an outright lie.
[sup]4[/sup] I saw nothing of the kind.
[sup]5[/sup] The Cubs will still be in the basement in October.

When I was fourteen I got a tour of the holiest of Holy Lands…
** Wrigley Field **
I walked the bases,stood on the pitcher’s mound…too bad Ryne Sandberg wasn’t there. ::sigh::

I still have a piece of dried up ivy from the outfield wall. :slight_smile:

Basement? Nah. There’s no way they wind up worse than the Pirates. Or the Brewers. And probably not the Reds.

And if they keep playing like this, there’s not a chance in hell the Cardinals catch them. And wouldn’t that suck for you? :wink:

On a serious, I’m-really-not-making-fun note, what’s going on with Rick Ankiel?

How dare you speak that way about the Pirates? I’ll thank you very much to leave them out of this! You and I both know your Cubbies will be back on the bottom (where they belong) by the end of the season. :slight_smile:

Thank you, Sapphire, you beat me to it.

All this talk about the Cubbies reminds me of a Harry Carey joke.

What does a mama bear on the pill and the World Series have in common?

No Cubs, of course. :stuck_out_tongue:

He was sent down to AAA Memphis, where he couldn’t find the strike zone there, either. Now he’s at extended spring training in, uh, that town in Florida.