Cult-cha

The BBQ Pit
1

I just read this, and it neatly sums up something I have been thinking about for awhile:

"Around the power centers of American business, there is a word that is whispered from behind closed dors and from important people’s offices, all hush hush and top secret; culture. Now, they’re not talking about whether you know which fork to use while eating your salad, whether you attend the ballet, or even some sly yogurt reference. Culture refers to coporate culture, and worker bees like you and me are quietly ranked by management according to whether we’re into it or not.

See, you can’t just accept whatever direction the company is headed; you have to believe in it. If you disagree with that the bosses are up to, or even if you want to just plain old do your job, then you’re considered low culture. If, however, you choose to follow along blindly and happily, then suddenly you’re liked more, considered a more valuable employee, and are ranked among those who have attained high culture status.

Interestingly enough, high-culture people who pump out crap are more highly prized than low-culture folks who crank out quality work. This climate, beyond having suits talking in meaningless business doublespeak, starts sounding dangerously more like cult than culture. Next thing you know we’re drinking Kool-Aid and the National Guard is burning down the compound."

Words to live by. The scary thing is, I’m starting to see why it is that way. Care to take a flying guess where I found this little jewel?

2

A Playboy article?

Hey, you SAID to take a “flying guess”!

3

Where I’m from ‘Corporate Culture’ has a different meaning. Two meanings actually, but they’re both differnt from what you describe.

a) the feel inside the company. Is it open, is it friendly, is it serious, etc. This usage is typically used to compare companies.

b) (this is the more important one.) It is recognized that the culture of a company ultimately flows from senior management, and that if you don’t attempt to influence it, you may not like what it becomes. I.e. maybe it’s hardworking, but there’s no fun, and everybody quits. Or maybe it’s closed and no information flows and the company stagnates. So, it’s important to try to guide or at least be aware of and influence the culture. Typical things that are done in Silicon Valley are buying a Foosball table, buying pizza for everyone who’s at work after 7:00pm, having company picnics, etc. Stuff to keep people interested in the people around them beyond the work. Bigger companies even spend time defining it; perhaps you’ve heard of the ‘HP way’.

Corporate Culture is one of these vague things like mission statements that are important, but nebulous enough that you’ll hear jokes everywhere about it, from top to bottom and in all departments.

4

Hmmm… submit. Don’t think. Breed. Sleep… wasn’t that explored in that wonderful cult movie, “They Live”?

I can only think it’s something like the Eagle Forum that wishes blind worship, I mean, fellowship. I shudder to think where you found this and how many might actually believe it.

5

Aw, c’mon, Byz . . . Gayle Ruzica and her posse are only looking out for your own good . . . :rolleyes:

6

Have you ever noticed that the more that employees are encouraged to be loyal to the company these days, the more that companies are encouraged to be Machiavellianistically disloyal to the employees? How on earth are you supposed to be loyal to a group that could very well downsize you and move to Mexico tomorrow?

Loyalty to someone who isn’t loyal back isn’t loyalty; it’s serfdom.

7

Guess #1: Dilbert.
Guess #2: Mad magazine.
Guess #3: An East Coast Intellectual magazine, take your pick, Harpers, Atlantic Monthly, New Yorker.
Guess #4: The Mother Earth News.

8

Wow! Nice guessing! That’s more than I was expecting. How about the July '00 issue of Hot Rod magazine, pg 106, Jeff Koch. I’m thinking life ain’t all axle grease in your hair down at the old publishing house these days.
billehunt:

I agree the culture of a company comes from senior management. But guess what you get when everybody from VP on up is fighting for control like crazed badgers? It comes out seriously schitzo and it changes every week. Yo boss, team this. We joke around that you can tell who’s your friend because they’re the ones who yell ‘Duck!’.

Last year during the annual budget wars, senior management in their finite wisdom cut all budgets by 15% across the board. Hmm, gee, that doesn’t leave us enough money to pay the electric bill through the end of the year. We managed to get the money back by publishing a schedule that showed an October through December plant-wide shutdown. That single battle distracted three of our best people for a most of a week, and there are many more such examples. And yet my annual goals are in writing and make no allowance for these constant distractions and direction changes.

The suits were wondering why people were leaving in droves. They hired a massively overpaid consulting firm to put together an employee satisfaction survey. They really leaned on us for 100% participation, even forcing some poor HR lady to sit in the hall and nag people walking by. So I picked up a survey. My radar went off when I sifted through and figured out that they require enough identifying information to nail me down to a small group of people. My handwriting is unique; 5 minutes of checking would put my name on the survey. Being low and suspicious (I can’t thank you people enough for teaching me that), I left those bits blank. Sure enough, the rumor of the week now is that the actual intent of the survey was to identify dissatisfied employees and scrape them off. Too many coincidences in a row have happened for me to disregard. Hey, it’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.

I don’t have a problem pulling together toward a common goal. But how do you pull together in 10 conflicting directions at once? The corporate culture I see in my neck of the woods looks like:

  1. Money talks
  2. A win is a win; there are no style points
  3. Do unto others before they do unto you
  4. Show no fear, show no pain, take no prisoners

And so we get nicknames around the plant like Jerry the Pipe, Fast Mikey, and Teflon Bob. I know I have fumbled more than one career opportunity because I will not play that game, I just can’t make myself care. I prefer to know the techno-details and maintain a low profile. I’ve survived more than one palace revolution that way.

Last month one of my contractors was wrapping up his desk to catch a flight. On his way out he sez, “Well boys, it’s been a financial pleasure being here”. I like that guy.

To be fair, I have worked at places where you can sorta trust management. At some places I think they actually care about the troops. But this place sets a new low for freewheeling backstabbing management bastards. And yes, I am looking around for a new job working for actual humans. Anybody have any good tips on things to watch for? I kinda get blinded by the color of green, so I need a checklist.

9

speakeasy,
Harsh. I hope it gets better; maybe it’s time to look around.

10

Whoa! I work for a company where there is a huge power play among the upper echelon, we just had a very expensive survey done (I was happy with local management, but lambasted the corporate office), and I realized that they’d easily figure that I had filled out this “anonymous” survey because I am the only person in my particular position. The finance department has been screwy lately (we just had some phones shut off because of an unpaid bill).

Hmmmmmmmm…

I wonder if we work for the same company, or just if we work for typical companies.

11

<< tone of extreme, pained disbelief >>

Hot Rod is talking about “Corporate Culture”?? With a straight face?

Somebody shoot me, I don’t wanna live any more.

12

billehunt:

Not to worry, I keep my debts paid down. I’m learning things, maybe not nice things, but I’m not bored. I send some of the juicier items to Scott Adams once in awhile. Can’t tell if he uses them, but I swear I’ve seen bits of my life in there more than once. Knowing I can bail on any given day makes it a whole lot easier. Standing near the gold mine makes it a whole lot more interesting.

beakerxf:

Duck!

DDGoose:

I almost missed it, I was too busy scoping the built W3 455 in the classic old Riviera. But it seems to me like the man knows what he’s talking about. I take my gems where I find them.

13

Ever heard of employees forced to attend sensitivity sessions they felt were “New Age”?

The company I formerly worked for hired some dimwit ex-nun with a program called rapid technology change or rapid change technology. Employees had to attend a 2 day or a week long session. It started with every employee having to pair off and while one lay on the floor telling of childhood experiences the other sat beside him/her listening. They also sang songs together (using overheads!) and had listening sessions with a talking stick to pass around to the person talking. I heard of one guy who was convinced that it was against his fundamentalist beliefs–he actually cried at being forced to participate. I talked to him later–he said he was forced to attend two sessions–the last session he simply said what they wanted him to say. Poor guy–he needed his job to support his family.
At one point they had a part called “speaking truth to management” Well, several people who actually were dumb enough to participate in this were fired within a month or two afterward.
This company is one of the worst performers in its class but also one of the biggest. If T.Boone Pickens was still busting up inefficient companies, they would be a great target!

14

Oh, Smiling, my roommate had to sing songs and do cheers at his job at a movie theatre, and I had to grin forcedly through enforced bad jokes at this other job I used to have. I would never work at a company which took it upon itself to humiliate its employees in this way. I want an employer, not a pal.

15

I can see you were right there on the edge of your seat.

Our HR department has a non stop series of similar (but slightly more adult) training sessions to cure what ails you. For example, rather than give me the authority to match my duties, I am offered a class in ‘How to Influence Without Authority’. No, really, get back up off the floor you bums. Mercifully I can almost always ignore them.

Except the sexual harrassment classes. Those heated up a bunch about two years ago during yet another management war. I had to sit through a full day of offensive horseshit. I even had to role play, and the shit they wanted me to say was stupid, and snottier than anything I’ve ever said to a woman in my life. The trainer lady got kinda steamed because I couldn’t stop laughing at the pick up lines. The bottom line after 8 straight hours of crap; you may only speak to female employees regarding business and you may never touch them in any way. As far as I can tell, the only way this fucked up system works at all is because we are blessed with a very cool bunch of women. Otherwise we’d be losing people every day.

You know, one of the things that keeps me going is the occasional pat on the back. Behind the shoulders and above the waist, just a plain old ‘nice job, buddy’ pat on the back. Guess what, that’s sexual harrassment. We had a guy get fired last year because he received a dirty joke on email. Some asshole saw it on his screen about 10 seconds before he deleted it. An hour later he was escorted off site, first offense, no history of problems. His daughter had to drop out of college. I hear the asshole is now the loneliest person in the plant. Wouldn’t know, don’t talk to her, ever.

I still have women friends at work, but the conversations are a lot lighter now. We used to be able to chat in the lunch room or outside on the sunny side, but no more. Now if we really want to talk we have to go way off site.