Current views on tipping in restaurants

In My Humble Opinion
161

To answer the original question, no. COVID has not changed my tipping practices across the board. Only that now with the Czech Republic being under a lockdown, there are fewer places where there is the opportunity to tip.

That out of the way I’d like to take this discussion in a slightly more situation-specific direction.

Speaking for myself, I too am one of those people who resent being expected to tip. I feel that as a consumer, I should be entitled to be presented with a final price on the bill and that I should not be required to top said final price up due to social customs, fear of being resented by my server, or a feeling of guilt that I am stifling the server. (I also think it’s stupid that back home, in North America, listed prices are before-tax and glad that here in Europe, where I now live, stated prices include sales tax. I would make before-tax pricing illegal everywhere if I could). I do tip, though am not a generous tipper (we Canadians have a reputation for giving low tips; the reason for this may have something to do with a lower disparity between the tipped and non-tipped minimum wage in Canada than in the US). But anyway, I totally get the argument so thoroughly elaborated above, that, as the system (certainly in the USA) is set up in such a way that tips make up a large part of a server’s income, it is immoral to not tip even if you disagree with the system, as you cheat the waiter of part of his / her wage. But then again…

…what if I knew of a case where a tipped employee’s employer still gave them at least the full minimum wage rate? Shouldn’t it be morally acceptable to exercise the choice not to tip such an employee? Suppose I were to operate from the following assumption: if you earn at least full minumum wage, and not some lower “tipped wage”, then you are not entitled to be tipped. I know some people will say things like “but how is the waiter supposed to support a family on such a measly wage?” But we don’t ask that question in the case of someone earning minimum wage at McDonalds who is forbidden from taking tips. Or someone who works in a warehouse who doesn’t have the opportunity to get tips. If I am not morally bound to worry about how an entry-level worker at McDonalds makes ends meet, why should I be about a waiter who I happen to know earns as much as the person at McDonalds before tips? I realize this is very much a YMMV point; one might say one should still tip because the waiter supposedly expects a tip, but then I didn’t choose for him / her to have that expectation, and if I keep humoring his / her expectation, I keep enabling him / her to count on getting tips, and we will have no change in tipping customs, despite the fact that this particular waiter is receiving the full minimum wage - an accepted base legal standard for income - before tips.

First case in point: six or seven American states (e.g. California) require employers to pay even tipped employees the full minimum wage. So suppose I went to California or one of those other states, ate at some restaurants there, and only paid my bill and nothing extra. By law, those who served me must get full minimum wage. Am I still somehow shortchanging them by electing to do this?

Second case in point: I actually applied this in real life a few times. In Ontario, there is a system whereby there is some disparity between the full minimum wage (currently $14.25 CDN an hour) and the “liquor servers minimum wage” (currently $12.45 an hour). From this one may deduce that if a restaurant does not serve alcohol, the owner is bound to pay employees the full minimum wage of $14.25 even if they are tipped. During my last stay in Canada, I would leave a tip at most sit-down eateries; however, I ate several times at a branch of a restaurant called “Sunset Grill” and, as that specific branch did not have a liquor license, I never tipped. (It didn’t strike me as a particularly cheap place, either). I did the same on one occasion at a similar breakfast-and-burger type joint that didn’t serve alcohol. Was I right to assume that those who served me there earned full minimum wage? If so, do you still have a moral problem with me not tipping them on the relatively few occasions that I ate there - and if so, why?

Furthermore, this discussion goes beyond waiters. There are multiple sources which suggest that (in North America at least) you are bound (morally / by social convention) to tip not only waiters but anyone in the service industry. That represents a wide spectrum of jobs. Are all these people really underpaid before the tips they receive? For example taxi drivers. Or masseurs. Surely not all these people earn just a lower-than-minimum wage before tips? Are we really shortchanging anyone and everyone who performs a service for us whom we elect not to tip?

To make it clear, despite my saying that I resent tipping, I do tip as a minimum waiters and cab drivers. I would like the system to stop and tipping to become a rare (and completely voluntary) treat rather than a social expectation and a moral duty, but realize that some fair pricing must first be established. I think “tipped minimum wages” should all be abolished, that both tipped and non-tipped workers should have an absolute legal right to at least the full minimum wage rate, and that tips, if one gets any, should go directly into the receiver’s pocket. I would thus also make “tipping out” and “tip sharing” illegal. You would be allowed to pocket your entire tips and the restaurant could not require you to pool them with the other waiters; the cook would not get any and certainly not the owner. I would hesitate to make tipping illegal (I realize some people WANT to tip), but I might require all restaurant owners to write “service is included” on the bill. (Didn’t they do that in France and didn’t that make tipping more voluntary there?) In any case, I would want the legal changes I would make to serve to make it socially acceptable not to tip and a tip to be seen as a privilege rather than an entitlement. On a related note, if I myself owned any traditionally tipped business, I would make my business non-tipped. If I had a restaurant, all my employees would receive at least full minimum wage, standard benefits, etc. and the prices on the menu would be priced accordingly - i.e. a little more expensive than average. If I had a business that employed skilled workers, e.g. a massage salon or a hairdresser’s, my staff would definitely receive more than minumum wage as they are trained tradespeople. So my pricing there would probably be medium-of-the-range. However, whatever establishment I had, my employees would be strictly forbidden from accepting tips and there would be signs saying that all prices are final and include service. I would simply not abide owning a service industry establishment where tipping was practiced.

162

I live in NA, so tipping is customary and during my youth I worked in a busy mid-scale ( clients wearing baseball caps hats we’re asked to remove them ) restaurant for five years. Pre-covid I never tipped for pick- up. Nothing annoys me more than being forced to be cycled through the steps to be forced to enter a percentage; aka zero - for the amount of tip the establishment got when picking up my food or coffee.

During Covid I’m a little more sympathetic for the people working at my favourite places for take out and tip them a little.

163

The people I know who wait tables would not choose to wait tables if they were only paid minimum wage.

164

Duly noted. But how does that affect morality? Why should it “not” be OK to pay a waiter only (the full) minimum wage, but OK to pay someone at a McJob only minimum wage?

165

Someone accepting a fast food job goes in knowing what they’ll be paid and agreeing to make fries for that sum.

A person accepting a server job goes in expecting to receive tips that their efforts can influence.

When my mechanic changes my car’s alternator, I pay an agreed upon amount. When my mechanic stays late to change my alternator while I wait because I have reasons to need that special service, I pay the agreed upon amount, plus I give him a thank-you bottle is liquor.

166

Cart before the horse. If the system were such that a set wage was all that was guaranteed and tips were discouraged, then the server would go in with that clear understanding.
Personally I quite like getting the required amount of effort from a server and not having to pay them extra for it. (Seeing as the required amount of effort to take my order and bring my food is, actually, their job).

167

I wouldn’t. They quote you a fee and a time for completion.

You pay, they deliver, or not. If they can’t do it in time that’s their problem. They aren’t doing you an additional favour by doing what they contracted to do.

168

You’re looking at each purchase as a transaction. Many people view it as a relationship.

169

My mechanic example happened IRL. He closes at 5 pm. He knows that I pay cash (which he prefers for whatever reason) and that I appreciate his services.

When I asked him to stay late and do a rush job, he would normally decline but he considers me a great customer. I’ve bought him a drink at a bar, so I know what he drinks. It’s worth the price of a fifth of bourbon to “grease the wheels” as it saved me the cost of a rental vehicle.

ETA: Telemark understands me

170

Correct, the transaction is all that matters to me. The “realationship”, as far as it goes, is limited to politeness.

171

And many people view it as a transaction/relationship based on the specifics. Sure, the mechanic near my home or the restaurant near my office might be more of a relationship and I’ll treat it as such. But the mechanic I use when my car breaks down 150 miles from home is more of a transaction - and they are very unlikely to stay late to fix my car, since they’ve never met me before. Just like the server at the restaurant 150 miles away is unlikely to treat me the same as the restaurant where I go for breakfast/lunch everyday. I am normally opposed to tipping for takeout pre-COVID. There have been a couple couple of places I did, though. Because as soon as I walked in, they started preparing my normal order rather than waiting for me to get to the front of the line - a restaurant 150 miles away that I’m going to for the first time can’t do that.

172

It’s “OK” to pay them minimum wage, if the expectation is that they are responsible for a minimum wage level of workload and responsibility. You are paying this person what is literally the least amount of money one can legally pay for someone to do work, but expecting them to be skilled food service professionals.

You will expect them to seat you professionally, monitor your table (and a bunch of other tables) to ensure your needs are satisfied, know the contents of the menu, know the specials, accurately communicate all of your needs to the cooking staff, bring your meals out promptly without getting distracted by other duties, visit your table multiple times to deal with drinks, appetizers, entrees and desserts, then promptly deal with your bill, all for the price of someone hired to press “Big Mac” 100 times a day.

If you want to pay the legally required minimum in wages, you should say so up front so they can provide you with the legally required minimum of service. Nobody ever will, though, because they want the skilled professional service, it’s part of what makes dining out a worthwhile experience.

173

That’s a completely valid way of looking at things. And for places that you only ever visit once or have no personal relationship with anyone working there, it’s going to work out fine. But for places you visit regularly or need service above and beyond the norm, establishing a relationship can pay off both in practical and experiential ways. It’s not for everyone, but it has value to many.

But to some degree, that’s independent of the idea that societal norms in the US and some other cultures expect tipping to be a regular part of many transactions.

174

[quote=“kayaker, post:165, topic:929607, full:true”]

But a person accepting a job as a waiter must also know that tips are at the discretion of the customer, that some people aren’t good tippers, and that the occasional customer will leave no tip at all. A waiter in selected North American jurisdictions, such as California or Alberta, also knows that the law entitles them to the full minimum wage, so they are dealing with a different starting point than someone in those jurisdictions where there is a lower wage for tipped minimum employees.

Your example of giving a bottle of liquor to a mechanic who went over and above is a whole different ballgame. What I disapprove of is this notion that you are socially/morally obliged to tip waiters (and various other people in the service industry) anytime you use their services. Your example was essentially an exception that proves the rule. I have also willingly given a gratuity to someone 2-3 times in my life in a context where none was expected, because I was moved by someone’s high standards. Years ago, I bought a bagpipe that turned out to be poorly constructed and was falling apart at certain joints. I took the defects to a master luthier who specializes in string instruments. He turned out to have golden hands and to be able to work a lathe as well. He found some metal tubes in his workshop which had the right diameter and made a clean repair of the pipes. He also replaced one or two broken plastic imitation ivory mounts (these were made of a brittle material that broke away together with the main defect) with an epoxy or some other such material that he had on him and turned it to match the originals. I was very impressed and thought his stated price very reasonable, so I willingly topped it up by maybe 10 or 15 %. But this was my own initiative, and I felt he had really deserved this in those particular circumstances.

In general, my relationship to a waiter is the same as my relationship to someone in McDonalds - a purely professional one. So yes. I look at it as a transaction first and foremost.

For me, what makes dining out a worthwhile experience is first and foremost the food, which tends to be nicer at sit-down restaurants than at fast food, buffet and similar outlets (though there are exceptions). Secondly, that I won’t have to stand in line for the food but will have someone carry it to me. What I personally would expect from a waiter would be a basic level of professionality and rather circumscribed:

-Know something about the items on the menu (a McDonalds employee should also be able to tell me, for example, what condiments are inside a certain sandwich)

-Serve me promptly to the extent that your current customer volume allows; check on me intermittently once my turn comes

-Show basic politeness (at a level no higher than at McDonalds - their employees have to behave courteously as well); as in, don’t act like you’re annoyed that you have to serve me

-Together with the kitchen staff, make sure you get my order right. If my requests are realistic, this should not be rocket science. This is a necessary skill in fast-food joints. If I go to Burger King and ask the person at the counter for my Whopper to be without mayo, they need to deliver on that as well.

This sum of duties doesn’t seem like something that requires a high level of skills and professionalism. I don’t go to a restaurant because I look forward to getting “great service”, merely an acceptable level of service. I wouldn’t mind if certain “perks” disappeared together with tipping (e.g. free coffee re-fills. I have nothing against paying for every coffee I drink). I also don’t care much for certain things waiters do in order to make it look like they are giving you better service, such as: smiles that are evidently fake, over-frequent checking up to you, attempts to upsell you. I also have a problem with this notion that I as a customer am expected to somehow incentivize a waiter or other service provider. That should be their employer’s job, not mine. Frankly, assuming you’re not somehow mistreated or exploited at work, you should be providing adequate service for no other reason than someone gave you a job. I see this as basic work ethic.

175

The last time we had dinner at a favorite local place, a server saw us enter. She caught my eye, waved, then went to the kitchen. When she returned, she came to our table and told us there was a single serving of a special appetizer we always share when it’s available. She asked the kitchen to set it aside for us, then 86’d it.

I love the whole tipping culture in part because we would have missed that appetizer were it not for it.

176

They’re not exactly performing rocket surgery, but being a competent server requires attention to detail and professionalism you simply do not get from minimum wage employees. That is why their take home is almost always higher than MW, and if they got stuck with MW for an extended period, would be looking for a new job.

177

It would be equally weird (not to mention just as wildly unrealistic) for people in service jobs to warn their customers beforehand that adequate or good service is contingent on being tipped according to what the employee feels he/she deserves.

A solution you might like involves the customer and server signing a contract before the meal, stipulating levels of service depending on tip percentage. For no tip or 10% or less tip, you’re accepting the risk of your meal “accidentally” being dropped on the floor or adulterated; with a sub-15% tip your meal will arrive eventually, but forget drink refills or dessert orders. 15-20% gets you barely adequate service, 20% attentive service and over 20% yields borderline hovering and tips on dishes to order or avoid.

Realistically (or not), just do away with tipping altogether. Pay servers a decent wage and add the cost to the menu.

Like that will happen anytime soon.

178

I’m not going to say any of that is incorrect- but one of the reasons you will see justifying the social expectation of tipping is that servers receive a sub-minimum wage based on tips. The real problem with the whole tipping scheme is that reasons and justifications collide- I’m supposed to tip because otherwise I’m cheating my server who will get less than minimum wage if few people tip - but servers are against eliminating tips and being guaranteed at least minimum wage because their income will go down ( or alternatively , they will have to pay more in taxes or lose benefits if they must report all their income). Which is it - do I need to tip even for barely acceptable service because otherwise they will make $3 an hour or do they want to continue the practice because with tipping that can make far more than minimum?

In almost every other business, we expect the employer to determine how much the employees are paid and set prices accordingly - people are not expected to tip the customer service staff at Target for acceptable service. Target has decided how much they are paid, and if Target wants better quality workers, then Target can and will pay more than minimum wage. And once you get out of the restaurant world, it gets even stranger- if I buy end tables from a furniture store and the store delivers them , it’s customary to tip the driver. If I buy the same tables from Amazon, I am not expected to tip the UPS driver ( who is a different driver every time I see the truck)

179

I’m not sure what “customer service staff” means at Target, but I use self-checkout wherever it is available. I can totally see being expected to tip a cashier for doing the work that I can (and do) easily accomplish. Why not have differing costs for differing levels of service?

180

That would be weird because that’s not the normal custom, since the waiter doesn’t know what the tip will be in advance and cannot establish any such contingency.