Dad Jokes

Please, keep going

far away from here

Have you considered taking your act on the roadlike the middle lane of an interstate?

Know anyone who can drink gasoline?
Jerry Can.

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction.

A variant: Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the deer that it can be done.

Do you know why Bruce Willis is a hobbit?

Because old hobbits die hard.

My dad used to say “You kids are spoiled. Or maybe you just smell that way…”

The cheapest concert I ever went to cost me $.45.

It was 50 Cent featuring Nickelback

I just read this one.

How do you tell if an ant is a girl or a boy"

Put it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats…

What goes “Oom! Oom!”

A cow walking backwards


What’s a metaphor?

To keep cows in.

First joke ever told me by my dad.

Why are you rich, if you have twenty-five female pigs and twenty-five male deer?

Because you have fifty sows and bucks.He told me about sixty years ago - not adjusted for inflation.