Dad Jokes

Why do squids have ten tentacles?

Because if they had eleven, they’d be eleventacles.

Any other dads on the Dope? Got a Dad joke?

Whats green all over and wears a cape?

Super Cucumber

Why are they called “Dad jokes”?

Because they’re readily apparent.

I heard it as:
What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

It’s usually apparent!

I just posted this not ten minutes ago; does it count?

“Knock, knock”

“Who’s there?”


“Two who?”

No, no, it’s to whom."

“Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?”


“I thought it was you!

If I make a Dad joke in this thread would that be a

faux pa?

Your version’s better.

For me it was Grandpa.

“Calm down! Don’t let your shirt run up and down your back like a window-shade!”

Now that I’m a grandpa, I scare the grandkids with my gnarly, fungal toes.

But I was never into Dad jokes. Does that make me a bad father?

I got a ton of them. Of course, I favored them when I was a kid - not sure when they became “Dad” jokes.
A couple of my faves are:

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung! (said like a bell ringing)

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

What’s the difference between a well dressed man and a dog?

The well dressed man wears a 3-piece suit. The dog, just pants.

Seriously, I could go on and on - but NOBODY wants THAT! :smiley:

It was certainly a Dad-worthy bad pun, but it counts even more because it was unsolicited in an unrelated conversation. As we annoying dads tend to roll…

A monarch stands before a dining table with three cups on it, two full and one empty. What’s his name?

Philip III

Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger is making a movie about classical music?

Hell be Bach.

Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me:

Me to him: Does your face hurt? It’s killing me!

Him to me: You’re funny but looks aren’t everything.

Good times.

You have a good point. If you wear a hat, nobody will see it.

Dad - Do you serve oysters here?
Server - No.
Dad - Shucks.

He would have enjoyed that :slight_smile:

A girl I knew in high school related that when she was very small she asked her dad “What’s a tuba?”

“The square root of a fourba.”

A couple of years later the teacher introduced her grade to the concept of square roots.

A time-released dad joke!

The Duck is standing by the side of the road looking to see if he can make it through the traffic. The chicken walks up to him and says, “Don’t do it. You’ll hear about it for the rest of your life.”

Dad meets a friend or family member he hasn’t seen in a while. (Obviously, this takes two people.)

Dad: Is that your face?

Friend: Ain’t nobody else’s, but!