Dad up and died and left me to deal with my mom's Alzheimer's. I need so much advice

What kenobi_65 said. Your household deserves a break.

Crossing fingers that the smoother waters are almost here.

Merry Christmas.

My heart is full and love is analgesic. I love you.

If you read this, I do love you. Challenge me. I’ll show you.

Glad to see you posting, and well supplied with love. Don’t feel like challenging anybody right now.

I’m glad to see you post. I hope things are going well. Happy Holidays to you.

I’ve been hoping things were going well for you and your family (as in, Mom and wife). I’m glad that seems to be the case. May things go easily for all of you in the new year.

Fabulous. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

I’m so glad to hear that you had a good Christmas! Sending vibes that things continue to be good.

Here’s to better days ahead, no matter how good your days have been.

i hope you have a happy and healthy 2022!

Over-due update:

I’ve kind of just been hanging back and watching reality unfold.

Now I’m realizing how much junk I should update, so I’ll try to be brief:

Christmas was ultimately amazing. Mom hasn’t been around this much “family” or large company at all in years due to COVID and whatnot. She was a bit overwhelmed by the end of Christmas Eve—my fault, I was sequestered trying to finish a present before “Santa” came. She was up too late, and over stimulated.

That night was pretty rough–I couldn’t reason with her abut going to bed. My wife found me sitting in the shadows (she’d been hanging out with her dad) and took over the situation. She talked with mom alone for a bit and FIXED. EVERYTHING. Like a magician. Then she fixed ME, and explained she just did what she does with her little niece, that there comes a time of over-stimulation, over-exhaustion, up-too-late and you’re starting to be delirious and unreasonable. Being “impossible” is just exhaustion and irrationality.

Sure enough, mom was perfect after that.

And we woke up butt-ass-early for the neifflings to open gifts, and moms heart was practically glowing. After helping the wee ones open gifts, she opened hers, and was flabbergasted at her haul. But the last gift of the day was her opening the antique Wedgewood Urn my wife and I got for her to keep dad’s ashes in.

Everyone cried. The day only got better from there, the night even better. Mom and wife agree it was the best Christmas they can recall.

Since then, even better things are coming. I mean, really good things are happening. This time next year I think I’ll be a life coach helping people to be happy.

Today was, and I mean it, probably one of the best days of my life. I have such a clarity, a perspective. I have a really specific purpose in life, and I finally know what it is: I get to walk with mom the rest of the way over the rainbow bridge, and the voluminous, meaningful “what is life even about” cosmic questions get answers along the way. I exist to make sure mom is going to be ok…and my wife exists to make sure I can do that. And mom exists to show me the mysteries of the human brain. She’s so fascinating.

That’s pretty fucking cool, I know my purpose.

And with that comes knowing my value. And with THAT comes thawing the glacier that has been my monkey-mind for far too long.

Rational explanations will not succeed with irrational minds. Something about realizing that has been freeing lately.

How were all you guys’ holiday? I need updates.

What an inspiring and wonderful update. Thank you for sharing

That’s all great news. I didn’t holiday quite as well but after they were over I had a long talk with big bro and… asked him to please talk to his doctor about what kind of dementia he is developing because he certainly has it. Beyond that, I loved seeing my family, even with that observation.