Okay, so Phish broke up. There’s talk in the online fan communities of doing something for the band as a thank-you at their Last Show Evah. The most popular idea? A mound of shoes.
Yes, a giant mound of shoes. Shoes riff off a line from a song: “Whatever you do, take care of your shoes.” So, have all 80,000 concertgoers bring in an old pair of shoes and put them on to one big, smelly, unsanitary pile. And the best thing about this plan is that it neatly combines litter, insensitivity (who is going to clean this up?), and historical ignorance (piles of empty shoes are used as a Holocaust memorial/museum display).
I guess it is time for Phish to quit, because some people have been on tour too long. Do they honestly believe that either a charity or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is interested in sifting through this decaying collection of leather, cloth, mud, and fungus? What drugs are these people doing? Wait a minute…don’t answer that last part. I don’t want to know.
If I get hit in the head with a flying shoe at my Last Phish Show Evah, some hippies are going down.
A mound of shoes?!?!? Whatever happened to something like, oh, a nice long heartfelt ovation? If they must make a pile of something, how about food to be donated? Isn’t there some Phish Phans Phor Phood group, or am I mixing this up with Panic Fans For Food? I can’t keep track. I’m far more likely to be at a String Cheese show anyway.
Hey, maybe they can all pelt Trey with lightsticks of appreciation. The one and only time I saw Phish I got hit in the head with a Phriggin’ lightstick. Some hippies shoulda gone down for that, man!
Funny, that line says to take care of your shoes, not leave them in a huge pile in the middle of a concert in Vermont. I’m a phan, I hope to be at the Last Show Evah, and I have to say this shoe nonsense is ridiculous. I second the non-perishable food idea.
Some have proposed that fans donate new shoes, but most supporters of the idea are more caught up in the symbolism of retiring their nasty, ratty old tour shoes. Or they’re cheap.
Donating canned good has also been suggested. I think the problem is that supporters of the giant pile-o-crap believe it to be conceptional art. They are all hepped up on the idea of a big visual tribute; otherwise, they’d just donate to Phish’s WaterWheel Foundation.
New shoes in a huge mound would get smashed and scuffed. If it rains, they are ruined completely. Piled-up canned goods would be dented; plus, I want to hit in the back of the head by a flying can even less than I want to be hit in the back of the head by a flying shoe. We could be sensible and have manned donation stations scattered around the campgrounds. But the Pro-mounders won’t be happy without their big, stupid heap.
A much better suggestion is out there: that everyone in the crowd wear a t-shirt printed with something like “Thanks for the memories, Phish” or “Thank you” and the classic Phish symbol (the word Phish in the shape of a fish.) We could even write the dates of the individual shows that we’ve seen on the shirts. Big visual tribute, no mess to clean up, and we even have a memento to take home.
Oh, and others have suggested that the entire crowd get naked. I get sunburned easily, so I’m rooting for the t-shirts.
Skelji, one of my friends gets hit in the head at least once during every glowstick war. Every single time. When they start flying, we usually form a protective circle around her and hold our hands over her head.
The fans should keep something in reserve for the “Reunion” tour, the “10th Anniversary Reunion” tour, the “Our New Bands Don’t Make As Much Money” tour, the “Return to the Middle Ages” tour, the “How Did the Dead Pull it Off, Anyway?” tour, the “Quit Downloading Music And Pay Us For Once, You Punk Kids” tour …
Not to get too uptight, but what if everyone for once, acted as the Green Crew and left the venue and parking lot free of broken glass, cans, dog crap, wrappers, packs of cigarettes and the accompanying cigarette butts.
Then what if everyone tried to refrain from selling drugs and alcohol and stickers and clothes and grilled cheese sandwiches and pipes and random trinkets.
What if everyone only used the Port a Potties instead of pissing all over the damn place (Hello Alpine Valley)
What if everyone, once, was respectful of the band and refrained from the behavior that got them banned or not welcomed back to so many venues throughout the years? What a better way to thank them then to show them that we could have done it better.
No, the band did not ask for any kind of memorial, much less a stinking slop of shoes. I kinda hope the band makes an announcement saying that they appreciate the thought, but please don’t leave shoes.
They made a similar announcement when they played the Seminole Indian reservation at Big Cypress. They asked fans if they would please respect the land and take care of their trash, and for once people did. Campgrounds and all, the place looked better than any other venue I’ve seen after all was said and done. I wish everyone would do that each show.
I love the lot scene. It wouldn’t be a Phish show without the lot scene.