Damned monkeys.

Here’s a localish story. A woman was caught in someone’s house trying to steal their baby because the monkeys were out to get her. No word on as to how the baby was going to help in the situation.

She must be terrible at hide and seek.

What do you guys have in the water in SC? The woman who killed her husband with Visine was from down there, too.

This also happened even more local to me than the monkey victim.

Whoever wrote the above article ought to have wild monkeys set upon them:

Drug her outside?? Geebus :dubious:

The crazy is slowly spreading outwards from Florida.

It was the BLURST of times?

Reached at their loft in the Winston-Salem hipster neighborhood, the monkeys defended their actions, saying “People say we monkey around, but we’re too busy singing to put anybody down.”

Hiding on top of the bureau in plain sight? The woman might be literally off her meds and probably should not be mocked.

(Except for her eyebrows - who did them and have criminal charges been filed?)

Were they the monkeys from The Wizard of Oz? They aren’t very nice monkeys.

This story would have been much better if her name were Dorothy.

The account is so clearly a cut and paste from the original police report that it’s safe to say no one “wrote” it.

So, howler monkeys?

Damned monkeys? Sounds more like monkeys of the damned.

Exactly. It’s “done grabbed the woman”, as everyone should know.

Written and submitted by an infinite amount of monkeys. Their next book, Shakespeare’s plays written in bad English.