Ok, I laughed.
A few headlines on the main page you miss clicking on the above link:
Officials Uncertain Whether To Save Or Shoot Victims
Nation’s Politicians Applaud Great Job They’re Doing
Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self
Bush: ‘It Has Been Brought To My Attention That There Was Recently A Bad Storm’
Yes, those are joke headlines. Sometimes the line gets blurry. :eek:
Whoops - that should be dark
humor time. :smack:
Our best efforts overshadowed by the Onion’s Greatness.
White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters
NEW ORLEANS—Throughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing AfricanAmericans “looting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.” “I was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser I’d managed to find,” said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. “Then I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.” Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops.
I’m printing off this whole edition.
Another classic headline: “Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help”
I’m trying not to laugh while I’m sitting in class right now when I think about that.
Truely, The Onion has done an excellent job with this.
You know, after so many great posts in
this thread, I figured there was no way the Onion could top what our gang came up with.
I was wrong.
FEMA representatives call out to survivors, “Show us your tits for emergency rations!”
That is wrong on so many levels. And yet so right…
There’s a story that guys is rescue choppers & boats have done just that.
Just comparing the headlines in the OP, I think the thread was much funnier.
Of course, the thread just consisted of headlines & not stories.
I thought the thread was funnier too. I have seen real headlines that closely matched almost all of the Onion’s in the past week. When I first read their’s, it took me a minute to realize that I was looking at the Onion rather than a regular news site.
I was really shocked to see that the Onion’s response was so damned
benign and, dare I say, lazy. The weakest contributions to that thread were 10x funnier than anything the Onion came up with - I just expected far better and funnier from them. Their post-9/11 issue remains one of the single funniest and most brilliant pieces of comedy I’ve ever seen.
“Shrimp Joint Now Shrimp Habitat”
Lazy ain’t the half of it. Sometime between last week and this, they stopped granting access to Mac Explorer users. I mean,
wha? It’s like running a bar and refusing to serve any man in a tan suit.
Where did you see this? Mr. Rilch tells me he saw such an article on Drudge, but I can’t find it.