Dammit Eve you have to stop doing that. I am getting over a chest cold and I am having enough trouble breathing without you coming along and making these comments that crack me the hell up.
yes, i was half expecting to hear James Earl Jones intone “God, you’re creepy” at some point in the advert, either that or force-choke or lop the king’s head off
Actually, I think they were dark, evil Cheez-Its because they had this really nasty aftertaste. Unless that’s how Cheez-Its usually taste, in which case I’ll never buy them again.
Lando Calrissian, in a Ford Falcon, approaches the Burger King drive-through intercom. As he comes to a stop, Darth Vader’s amplified voice comes from the speaker.
Darth Vader: Welcome to Burger King. What is your order?
Lando: Yeah, I’ll have a number 3 meal with fries and a Coke.
Darth Vader: Seven-ninety-five. You will drive forward.
Lando pulls up to the take-out window. Vader is there.
Darth Vader: That will be fourteen dollars.
Lando: What? You said seven-ninety-five.
Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.
With a sigh, Lando hands over the money. Vader hands over a small bag. Lando looks inside.
Lando: What is this? This is just a couple of onion rings! Where’s the food I ordered?
Vader (menacingly): Perhaps you think you’re being treated unfairly?
Lando (sullenly, barely audible): No.
Vader: Good, because it would be unfortunate if I had to call the police about your broken taillight.
Vader waves his hand, and an audible POP is heard from the rear of the Falcon.