Hooray, sanity rears its cute little head.
I wouldn’t even dream of *spanking[/i someone in sweats. I’m proud to say that I don’t even own any sweats. I find them about as attractive as a polyester suit.
Zenster, as far as the spanking goes, get in line. Your aversion to sweatpants is noted for the record, and will definitely reduce your punishment. But you’re definitely on my list, especially if you don’t get rid of that long-ass braggadocio sig soon.
Thinksnow also gets a spanking for repeated flirting in the Pit, one of my biggest pet peeves.
Spanking and sweatpants (ugh) aside, you’ve demonstrated in many threads that you’d be excellent company on a date. So if that was your weird-ass way of asking me, very well, I accept.
Obligatory apology so Hamadryad doesn’t kick my ass: Baloo, sorry that we hijacked this thread in one of the more bizarre attempts at message-board flirting!
magdalene - Sweat Pants Girl somehow made it through the rigorous pre-screening process and we completed exactly one date. On that date, she kept asking me about my dog and my cat. I’d oblige and tell her a story about one or the other, and she invariably responded with, “Oh, isn’t that just precious…”
Made me gag.
SWEATPANTS???
Tacky tacky tacky tacky.
Oof.
I have a sinking feeling that the guys I have dated in which it didn’t work out will refer to me as
THAT GIRL WHO STUFFS DEAD RATS AND PIGEONS
I was on a date once and I brought the guy back to my house and he saw a whole bunch of rats with pigeon wings hanging from the seeing, stuffed to look like they were in merry flight.
I was feeling saucy that night, so when the guy asked where i bought them, I admitted that I made them myself.
I am sure he has told the story plenty of times to his friends.
My most recent sorta-boyfriend was very nice, but he threw a shoe at a sixteen-year old punk who was provoking him at a show on our first date. I was amused at the time, but that was as interesting as the pretty boy ever got. Just went downhill from there. I ended up referring to him as Somewhat Dull Dan.
But before Somewhat Dull Dan, there was Boring Mike, a legend in his own time. My friends still speak of him.
God, he was so Boring. His name was Boring. His haircut was Boring. His voice was Boring. His appartment was Boring. Even his underwear was Boring. Every single thing he said was… well, BORING.
After I broke up with him, I started to realize that the extreme degree to which he was Boring was rather fascinating. I wondered time and time again- “Wow, could you BE any more BORING?” and he would always manage to outdo himself in Boringness. It was astounding and funny.
Now I’m starting to miss him a bit. He was fun.
I was just thinking what a loser I am when I read this thread and realized… Gee! I’ve had pretty good luck with bad dates! None of 'em are really too bad.
I’ve dated two men who did similar things: one spent the afternoon (coffee date) talking about himself and never asked me a single question about myself. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe he’s shy and overcompensating. So I’ll give him another chance just to make sure he’s not a complete self-centered asshole – which he was. So he calls me for the second date and while we’re talking – ahem. While I’m listening to him go on and on, he interrupts himself and asks if he can call me back, someone’s in the driveway. When he calls back, he tells me his wife, who left him months ago, just conveniently arrived and wants to put their marriage back together and needless to say, no need to schedule said second date. I was relieved I didn’t have to do the dumping. And, at least he was honest and upfront about the wife thing. Kind of.
Other Guy: freshly divorced, would only talk about what a bitch his ex-wife was and how great his kids are. I thought the only interesting thing about him was what he did for a living, which he wouldn’t discuss, because it was work. I patiently explained to him, when he called for the second date, that he needed more time to focus on something other than his ex-wife and should maybe discover some interests besides magnets (he’s an engineering prof. working with BIG magnets) and his kids. Then he’d be perfectly suitable for dating. He actually thanked me for the honest feedback. I felt like a bitch! He was nice… just boring.
Turpentine - I don’t know about the last guy, but I’d definitely be impressed by your sense of humor with the rats and pigeons. That is freaking hysterical.
New Yorkers refer to their pigeons as “flying rats” sometimes. I bet you could make a killing selling these things. Wanna set up an e-commerce site?
I haven’t had too many real “dates” per se in my life, and it was probably because of this!
I was about 17, going to school in the morning and working in the afternoon as the receptionist of Endicott Johnson Shoe Factory (they also owned Father & Son). Anyway, there was this guy Scott who used to make deliveries from the warehouse/factory to the administrative building and he was super cute and I started flirting with him. He was about 20, I would say. Anyway, one day he asked me if I’d like to go to the Bon Jovi concert in Syracuse (about an hour and a half from my home town) for the Bad Medicine tour. SURE! I talked my parents into letting me go because the sister of a girl I knew was also going (a group of us went). So first we go to this guys house to collect everyone. I was the youngest person there, but wowed them with my knowledge of Boston songs. We finally trekked up to Syracuse, I don’t remember any great conversation along the way but I’m sure I was in heaven. Get there, we had to park about 100 miles from the Carrier Dome and walk in freezing cold, snowy, wind blowing weather. Scott was sweet and held my arm and tried to keep me warm while we were standing in line. Finally get inside, got really crappy seats WAY WAY UP and it was so boring. He barely spoke to me the whole rest of the time, he was talking to my friends sister! So, afterwards, we get to the cars and realize that the roads were closed because of the weather. Now, I’m 17, in a strange city with a bunch of strangers. We decided to all chip in for a room at Joe’s Motel or whatever. I called my parents to let them know where I was (they are so cool!) and then went to the room. For whatever reason, the girl (the sister of my friend) needed to borrow my favorite pair of black stretch pants because her jeans were too wet and I happened to bring along an extra pair, just in case (No, I was never a girl scout!) By this time I was realizing Scott’s not-so-subtle sexual comments to girl and that I was being phased out, fast. Drive home the next day was a nightmare. We didn’t say two words, that I remember. A few days later, my friend told me that Scott and girl are an item now and about 2 months later girl got pregnant and they got married!
Ok, so it wasn’t so horrible compared to other stories, but it was pretty bad!
I haven’t had too many real “dates” per se in my life, and it was probably because of this!
I was about 17, going to school in the morning and working in the afternoon as the receptionist of Endicott Johnson Shoe Factory (they also owned Father & Son). Anyway, there was this guy Scott who used to make deliveries from the warehouse/factory to the administrative building and he was super cute and I started flirting with him. He was about 20, I would say. Anyway, one day he asked me if I’d like to go to the Bon Jovi concert in Syracuse (about an hour and a half from my home town) for the Bad Medicine tour. SURE! I talked my parents into letting me go because the sister of a girl I knew was also going (a group of us went). So first we go to this guys house to collect everyone. I was the youngest person there, but wowed them with my knowledge of Boston songs. We finally trekked up to Syracuse, I don’t remember any great conversation along the way but I’m sure I was in heaven. Get there, we had to park about 100 miles from the Carrier Dome and walk in freezing cold, snowy, wind blowing weather. Scott was sweet and held my arm and tried to keep me warm while we were standing in line. Finally get inside, got really crappy seats WAY WAY UP and it was so boring. He barely spoke to me the whole rest of the time, he was talking to my friends sister! So, afterwards, we get to the cars and realize that the roads were closed because of the weather. Now, I’m 17, in a strange city with a bunch of strangers. We decided to all chip in for a room at Joe’s Motel or whatever. I called my parents to let them know where I was (they are so cool!) and then went to the room. For whatever reason, the girl (the sister of my friend) needed to borrow my favorite pair of black stretch pants because her jeans were too wet and I happened to bring along an extra pair, just in case (No, I was never a girl scout!) By this time I was realizing Scott’s not-so-subtle sexual comments to girl and that I was being phased out, fast. Drive home the next day was a nightmare. We didn’t say two words, that I remember. A few days later, my friend told me that Scott and girl are an item now and about 2 months later girl got pregnant and they got married!
Ok, so it wasn’t so horrible compared to other stories, but it was pretty bad!
I also had a pretty bad prom date, but it would take too long to type out right now. Maybe another time!