After reading this thread pitting dating, I’m wondering if maybe there could be some useful tips and/or advice that “more experienced” people can give?
Relationship advice for those of us in something more long term than dating is a good idea too.
Mind you, I’m not some kind of lothario or anything- I didn’t have a serious girlfriend until I was damn near 30. But I did follow the system I’m about to describe, and it worked awfully well.
Here are my attempts at dating advice:
It’s like anything else; practice makes perfect. McGwire, Bonds, Maris, etc… all had to spend a lot of time in batting practice before they pulled off their records.
Ask people out, without even expecting them to say yes. Ask people out that you aren’t really that interested in, and try different approaches. If one of them is successful, try to figure out why they said yes. Have a good time on the date- with no stakes or interest, you’ll be more relaxed, and you’ll get used to the feeling of being on a date. The beauty of this is that since you’re not interested, you won’t really be upset if they say no, and if you go out with them, then if it goes badly, you won’t really care.
Once you’re used to going on dates, then start asking people you’re more interested in out. The great part here is that although you’re more interested, you’ll have had experience with both sides of the dating equation, and will consequently be much more confident and self-assured than if it was your first date in a couple of years.
As for relationship, not dating advice, I only have one useful thing to say: Don’t say hurtful things with the intention of hurting the other person’s feelings. That never helps anything, and only does long-term harm.