Days you feel like you're in a sitcom

This morning I woke up feeling great… relaxed knowing that I didn’t have to work today. I rose out of bed, put on my robe, and started upstairs to the kitchen where I’d enjoy a nice big bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. On my way, my dad stops me mid-step.
“Stacy, can you do me a favour and iron my shirt? I have to leave for a meeting in a half hour.”

“Sure” I replied.

So, he gives me the shirt, I plug in the iron, and set up the board. Once the iron is heated, I begin. Lalala… ironing away the wrinkles. I am just about done when off pops a button.


I look at the broken button, look at the shirt, and look at the button again in a panic. That’s ok though… I can fix it and he won’t know. I frantically search for a matching button in one of my mom’s sewing drawers, grab and handful of potential matches and the shirt, and run over to my brother, tossing the pile on his desk.
“Which of these matches!? Quickly!”

“Um… none,” he replied, “but don’t shirts come with extra buttons sewn on the inside?”

“You’re right!” I exclaimed.

I ran back to the sewing room and searched for matching thread, a needle, and scissors. Once the needle is threaded I am about to begin sewing when my dad walks in.
“Almost done?”

I whip the shirt back on the board and grab the iron.
“YUP!” I said smiling.

“Ok, good. I’m going to go take a shower now” he said before he headed off.

While watching him leave I stopped paying attention to where I was holding the iron. I wasn’t looking when I ran my hand across where it had just been sitting, and burned my hand! As much as it stung, I had to get the button sewn, so I began.
It was all going smoothly until the last stitch where I pricked my finger and started to bleed! I ran to the nearest sink, rinsed my finger, then ran back to the sewing room, and stubbed my toe in the door!
Whining, I knotted and cut the thread, then limped over to my brother to ask if it looked alright. He approved, so I went back to the sewing room to get the hanger. I was about to hang it up when I saw that during all that it had gotten wrinkled again!
Just then I heard the shower stop, so I frantically re-ironed it, hung it up, and left…

I retreated to the basement and sat down with a sigh of relief. Just then I remembered I was also supposed to iron his pants!

No, but I’ve had periods of living on Springer.

Former wife; former best man/friend. Use your imagination.


No, but I’ve had periods of living on Springer.

Former wife; former best man/friend. Use your imagination.


Pssst, Stacy…here’s the truth, you aren’t in a sitcom, its a drama. For some reason, you haven’t been getting the best of ratings lately, so the big guys upstairs decided to test things with a little slapstick. Don’t let it on that I told you this, though.
(Camera guy #24, the one behind the kitchen sink.)

>>Nomex underwear is optional for dragons. <<
—The dragon observes