Balance - Add “concoct, rationalize and dissiminate conspirasy theories” to your resume and you’re hired. Begin diverting attention from the real issues immediately!
Ayesha, I am reporting for service, and am ready to receive any gossip - er, information - needed to serve and protect DC.
I’m sorry, I cannot at this time comment on the rumored joint Democratic/Republican conspiracy to sell American citizens as menial slaves/snack foods to the inhabitants of Procyon Seven. We are well aware of the possible Ugandan connection, but feel that further investigation is needed before any definitive statement can be issued.
Sorry, I meant Kat.
We need KimKatt too, FF. I need somebody to gather intelligence on Nepal, The Threat No One Knows About. (We gotta hit the ground running, come January 20.)
Aglarond - in your position as ASICWCTAOWAHHMB (Ambassador to Small Inconsequential Countries We Can Take Advantage Of Who Also Happen to Have Many Breweries), you may want to work with MysterEcks and KimKatt on this “Nepal, The Threat No One Knows About” issue. I’m not sure about breweries, per sey, but Nepal does have a plethora of shacks for fermenting goat milk.
Oh, and don’t abuse the Dalai Lamai, 'k? Bad publicity.
I’d be more than happy to work with them on this issue. I love Nepal. As for the Dalai Lama, you don’t have to worry about that. The restraining order says I can get within 100 yards of the guy. I woun’t go into detail, but the incident involved a lot of imported beer from Germany, the Swedish bikini team, 2 large statues and a goat. As long as the trip doesn’t require a visit to him, I’m all up for it. I look forward to working with you all.
I want to be the Webmaster of State. I want to be master of something. Or how about Paymaster (we had a paymaster when I work for a large insurance company).
For volunteer work, I’d like to drive the van with the loudspeakers. I can’t drive, but I’m really loud. If the sound system should fail, you’d still be able to hear me.
Hey, apparently my boss is aware of my appointment as liaison to Congress–we had meetings for most of the day today. I believe I’ve built up enough of a tolerance to last through any filibuster that Congress can throw at me. Even if coffee is provided.
Aglarond said:
Don’t get too fond of 'em–we may find they are a clear and present danger to national security. Don’t be fooled by the motion picture Seven Years In A Movie Theater–these guys could be big trouble.