That’s fourteen month old tuna for ya.
Quoth the tuna, “Nevermore.”
*All dressed up with nothin’ to eat
Tuna from a dead man (dead man, dead man)
All dressed up with nothin’ to eat…
Tuna from a dead man’s startin to look good
WHYYYY not eat it? It’s only food… whooo!
Hopin that the malnutrition will subside
Goin’ to the pantry where tuna is inside
Hopin that the malnutrition will subside
Goin’ to the pantry where tuna is inside
I was struck by hunger
Walking down the hall
He’s not going to eat this tuna, after all…
It’s a dead man’s tuna
Fancy Albacore
There’s enough to last for days, and maybe even more
WHYYYYY not eat it? it’s only food…
DONNNNNN’T be afraid of botulism, dude
WHYYYYY not eat it? it’s only food…
DONNNNNN’T be afraid of botulism, dude*
[female voice] Jewelry! [/female voice]
Let me see if I get this straight:
You are concerned about the dead guy who used to OWN the tuna, but not about the dead fish that used to BE that tuna?
If you’re not afraid that the tuna will haunt you, why should you think the guy wll haunt you? He only took the fish bodies out of a store. The fish used to LIVE in there!
By the way, I once had an affair with the ghost of a very beautiful woman. However, at the time, she didn’t know I was alive.
Once upon a time my step mom’s deceased aunt’s husband died. Uncle Fred. Since her & my dad were his official caregivers, I inherited a couple of things from Uncle Fred after his passing. A collection of Time/Life books (never opened), about 6 pipes, an '81 Buick Century, and a chest of drawers. But wait! That’s not all! Inside the chest were an economy size bottle of TUMs antacid and a really comfy pair of cotton boxers with “FRED” lovingly written on the inside waistband in black marker.
Of all that stuff after all these years, wanna guess which one thing I still have? 
Hey, I said they were comfy!
I guess now that you ate all his tuna, you can look up to the sky and say:
“So long and thanks for all the fish!”
(My Virgin Post! Been lurking for over a year…)
Yep, I’ll pay that one, AK-Dave
Yep, I’ll pay that one, AK-Dave
Chest of drawers? How about a bit of pram?
So, you’re saying that there were drawers in the drawer?
Lets see, if you had opened the tuna at the funeral, maybe everyone could have had a bite. Sometimes fish goes a long way. Throw in a loaf of bread… feed the masses.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using dead people’s stuff. I used my grandfather’s electric razor for years after he died. I never felt weird about it, except when I had to clean his hair out the first time.
I used my dead grandmother’s Chloraseptic until it ran out. I felt kinda creepy, but my throat was really sore.
So you had the ghost of a frog in your throat?
Lemme get this straight… you can’t afford lunch, but you had scruples about helping youself to a dead work colleague’s cans of tuna?
It sounds as if your workplace isn’t paying you enough! Ask for a raise, and if you don’t get it, start stealing office supplies! Do you have access to the company’s ledgers, heh-heh, nudge-nudge? Here’s a great corporate revenue raiser: is there an executive washroom, lounge, or gym facility? Wire it! Sell the sicko footage to the Internet alt.porn sites! Even better, set up a live webcam feed from your computer at work!
[neoMarxist rant]There is no such thing as a free lunch for Joe Lunchbucket, unless his mother bought and packed it for him. No, seriously, there is no such thing as a free lunch unless you’re a business executive-type who can expense it and write it off. Everyone else, who is making only a tiny fraction of what the Grand Poobahs make, has to pay for theirs…[/neoMarxist rant]
[Groucho Marx] Wage Slaves, throw off your chains! What do you have to lose? Wages![/Marx]
Here’s to all the tuna-eaters [Groucho hikes his eyebrows] out there. And here’s to the meek inheiriting the earth, preferably after Congress completely guts the capital gains tax.
(What we need here is a “Groucho” smilie!)
I used my dead grandmother’s ancient Bakelite vibrator until the frayed wires shorted out and sprayed molten copper all over my ah, leg.
That is one of the most disturbing images I’ve had in quite some time…
We secretly switched jjimm’s tuna with canned dead man! Let’s see if he notices the difference…