[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Actually, I think the important part of the story had everything to do with her being a confident free-thinker - she said “Time out” and took charge and ended the episode. She didn’t do what they told her to when she thought about it for a minute. Most kids - sheltered kids - wouldn’t have handled it by thinking for themselves.
As for the larger child development question, absolutely I think kids should be taught how to think from a much younger age than they generally are. Not in the “we’re teaching them to think so we don’t care if they can spell” sense, but in actual training in thinking, in logic and its fallacies and inductive and deductive reasoning. There’s hardly a question that comes out of my kids’ mouths that I don’t ask them to try and think of an answer for themselves. And then I ask them to think about it some more and decide if they’re on the right track. And only *then *do I give them my answer or research the “right” answer with them. This starts even before they’re verbal, when I let toddlers stack the cups open side up to figure out - for *themselves *- why it won’t make a tower that way.
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Right, norinew had taught her to come to mommy. Keeping the lines of communication open is critical. Had she gotten angry with the child (“What were you thinking?!”), it’s likely that mudgirl would eventually learn not to tell mommy things that would get her in trouble. Then, incidents like this wouldn’t come to light at all or only after the situation had become far more dire.
IMO developing thinking skills is like lifting weights: the more you do it, the stronger you get. Too often people look at children like they’re passive little tabulae rasae who can only know what you write on them. Language acquisition ought to prove that we’re born with the wiring to learn complicated stuff from a very early age.
I read a quote once, something like: “Youth is a state of continual drunkenness…it is the dawning of the ability to reason.” Little babies want to experience the world; you show them the rattle and shake it because to an adult, those are the important features. But they have to put it in their mouth because they’re taking it in with all their senses. They’re little learning machines, their brains in something like a stupor trying to take it all in. I imagine that’s driven by the idea that the faster we learn, the more likely we are to survive.
I worked with a woman whose son was always trying daredevil stunts as a kid. Once, when he was maybe 10, unbeknownst to her, he had made “wings” from sticks of wood, garbage bags, and tape. She heard a groan outside and went to look. He had jumped off the garage and fallen like a stone. She said, “Now you know why that didn’t work, right?”
He replied, “Yeah, I wasn’t high enough.” :smack: But obviously the kid had the fire to learn—he wanted to use his brain so he could fly and was willing to take a big risk to test his theory. The trick is first not to discourage him from trying to learn and second to harness it with some realistic feedback and guidance. BTW she told me he was in CA at the time of the earthquake (1988?) in a parking garage. He said, “I looked up and the ceiling was cracking, cars were moving…” and she said, “You got out of there, right?” No, he was too fascinated by it all. :smack:
I think there are areas besides staying safe from predators that kids need to learn. One that overlaps would be setting boundaries in relationships. I’d like to keep Samantha (my imaginary daughter) out of codependent relationships when she starts dating, for instance. I’d like her to learn that some people who are nice to your face will stab you in the back. I’d like her to learn that not making the cheerleading squad isn’t the end of the world.
Another would be that many people would love to separate them from their money. No, those X-Ray specs don’t work and read the fine print because the shipping and handling is $7. Later on this would hopefully morph into things that keep the grown child from drowing in credit card debt or losing the house because the ARM expired etc.
First, kids need to approach situations with a healthy amount of skepticism and develop logical skills to try to predict things like cause and effect. As they get older the lessons become more complex but like lifting weights, you can’t do it for them and expect them to get stronger…you’re the spotter. IMO the sooner they start, the better.