Deal breakers on a new home...

Wouldn’t bother me at all.

I would also veto a house with a HOA. In fact, when we went house shopping a few years ago, that was the first thing on our “no WAY” list. I also suggest passing on any house that’s really close to a church, unless you happen to be the pastor or really involved with or whatever of that church. You WILL get people coming around, wanting to sign your kids up for Vacation Bible School, wanting the whole family to come to that church, and wanting donations. I also don’t like being near gas stations (especially 24 hour ones), or car dealerships. Being very close to a freeway isn’t great, either. We used to be one street away from the frontage road.

A cemetery as a neighbor wouldn’t bother me, unless it was an incredibly tacky cemetery. While it would have the occasional large gathering of people, for the most part those people would be fairly quiet. The gas station that I referenced earlier was apparently the hangout of gangstas, who liked to gather in the car wash parking lot and blast their car stereos just about every night, but especially on weekends.

Definitely no HOA. Also strictly residential - no industry or businesses, and preferably no schools or churches within a block or so.

One that strikes me funny now - I’d never again live in a house connected to another. I grew up in a row house (back before they called them townhouses) as did my grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles. It was the norm for us and I never really gave it much thought. Then I bought my first house - separated from my neighbor by a yard and a fence. As things progressed, we lived in places with more and more land, and our current 3 acres have me wondering how we ever managed on our less-than-one-acre lots of the past. I loves me some elbow room! :smiley:

Like many, I’d never buy a house with a HOA attached.

Also, I need to be able to go out my front door, walk the circumference of the house and re-enter, naked. (No neighbors within eyeshot). I don’t walk around naked, but I love having the option available if I ever want to.

I woudl agree with the “No HOA” rule, except that I seriously doubt there’s a single house within a 20 mile radius which meets that standard. :mad:

I currently share a property line with a 7/11. Noise, crime, vermin, trash, foot traffic cutting through my yard and tearing down my fence to avoid walking around the block. Never. again. No retail. N. O. No!

Cemetary across the street?

Well, the neighbors are quiet. I’ll give them that.

Not a problem for me. No noise, no cars (or not often, anyway), no bad neighbors to deal with. I’m not exactly worried about a “Zombie Apocalypse” in the first place, let alone the idea that embalmed, rotting corpses in sealed boxes six feet underground are going to get up and start feasting on the living.

Besides, I own plenty of guns. It’d be entertaining to sit on the front porch and pick off the dead

For me, major obvious deal breakers would be HOA, Busy street, lots of kids nearby (just for noise, vandalism and messing up my yard), too close to a school (same) or convenience store (litter, noise, etc).

I just have to add my .02 about living across from a cemetery; I grew up across the street from one and would never hesitate to live next to one again! Quiet, peaceful, park-like … what’s not to like? As kids we had to be quiet if a funeral was going on, but it seemed a small price to pay to have an interesting, open area right next to the house. Plus, now when I go back, I actually know some of the people! :eek: Actually it’s more true for the cemetery at my old parish. All of which is sort of comforting, actually.

The cemetery wouldn’t bother me much. It might take me aback briefly, but I’m sure that after a week or so, I wouldn’t even notice it any more. There are lots of old cemeteries in my neck of the woods, and they’re generally quite lovely.

I’ll join in with the HOA hate. And after Hurricane Irene, I’m going to make sure that any future house I own is well above the nearest water source.

This is my exact list. Well, I’d consider a post-1945 house but nearly all of the ones I’ve seen are ugly.

Open Floor Plan gives me the creeps. I toured an apartment with two configurations, I’m not sure if I rented the closed floor plan but I immediately passed on the open floor plan. It’d be like having all the exposure of a large retail floor without actually having the room.

I’ll second that. It’s not the rules as much as the idiots who think they have some magic power to interpret them. I would avoid an HOA like the plague if at all possible.

There are dead bodies everywhere, but they make great neighbors, though, honestly. No parties, no loud renovations, no trouble at all. I’d love to live next to a nice classy cemetery. Hell, most of the nordic cities have the very best, I’ll-never-afford-to-live-there-but-really-want-to neighborhoods clustered around fine old cemeteries.

Deal breakers? First floor apartments facing the street. Nope, no way, no how.

I do a lot of programming and writing, so wherever I live has to be quiet. So neighbors with lots of kids and outdoor dogs are out. Heavy road traffic is out (cul de sac FTW), and a HOA that actually enforces its rules is a severe no-no.

I love where I live now. Unless someone cranks up their lawn mower, the only thing I hear is the owls in the back yard.

HOA, and any evidence there’s ever been flooding in the house.

My brother lives across the street from a classic old New England cemetery. It’s great - looks like an Edward Gorey drawing.

My sister lived next to a cemetery. Her neighbors didn’t bother her, and she didn’t bother them.

We’re in a condo so there’s no way around it, but I wrote here on one of my HOA experiences.

Somewhere I still have a photo of my hand holding up the “approved” paint sample in front of the door painted the “unapproved” color (which is very nearly identical), which was somewhat comic in a pull-your-own-hair-out kind of way.

Ninja’d on the naked walkaround thing. I always added “at 8am”.

My list includes:

No need for a sump pump (no flooding the basement when power goes out)
No very large trees near the home (I have covered too many stories of houses destroyed)
No power lines of significance
Within 5 minutes of a fire house
Within 30 minutes of a decent hospital
Not near a dump / military base / anyplace that might have legacy issues
Preferably NW of any major city (prevailing winds in event of something bad blow away from me)
Room for a helicopter to land (and zoning that allows it) in the event I ever win the lottery…

HOA: absolute deal-breaker. The instant those words entered the discussion, I’d be out of there so fast you’d see a cartoonish dust cloud where I was just standing. I don’t care how nice the house is, or how convenient the location is, if it’s in a Naziville it might as well be a burned-out crackhouse.

Train tracks wouldn’t bother me. I live near some right now, and you learn to tune out the trains. Plus, you don’t hear them when you’re inside the house.

A cemetery wouldn’t be a problem, as long as it’s reasonably well maintained.

An in-ground pool would be a deal-breaker for me. In this climate, you can only use a pool for a couple of months a year. My in-laws have a pool in their yard, and it spends about 9 month of the year being nothing more than a huge maintenance chore.

Any sort of standing water (pond, etc.) would be a deal breaker. I don’t want to spend the summer months showering in bug spray just so I can enjoy my back yard. Plus, in my state at least, it could raise the specter of the property being declared a protected wetland.

Oooooh, good one!

I’ve lived across the street from a cemetery (though there was a row of houses between us and them) and no problem. I’ve almost always lived within a few blocks of train tracks, no problem there also. My daughter’s friend lives right next to BART - that would be a bit close for me. We live across the street from an elementary school - what is bad are hordes of parents dropping off kids, what is good is a semi-private dog walking area in their field.

Dealbreakers for me - too close to a waste dump, so I couldn’t open the windows, or too close to a low rent apartment complex full of gangs. Next to a convenience store wouldn’t make it either.
I live in a place with a HOA. A big obnoxious, but not too much, and we have a pool. If they ever got too bad I’d run for the board.
Real dealbreakers for us when we looked the last time were houses where there were holes in the wall, houses with a room utterly filled up to the doorway with crap, and houses where the owner couldn’t be bothered to make the slightest effort to pick up when a potential buyer was visiting. Og knows what secrets were lurking there.

I wasn’t aware that there were that many houses available without some form of HOA. You would be surprised as to what HOAs think they can do that, it turns out, they cannot. For example: a property owner has the legal right to put up a satellite dish of up to 1 meter in diameter.

Then again, I live in a townhouse, and have had my share of dealings with my HOA (I had to paint my garage doors twice when the first time wasn’t the right color; I would have gotten it right the first time had they bothered to tell me which specific color to use, but they had repainted the entire complex a few years earlier, switched the color scheme (from greenish to yellowish), and not bothered to update the documentation with the new colors). However, it works both ways; they pay for my water, my garbage collection (well, from a communal dumpster, which brings with it an annual ant problem, and I don’t dare spray outside of my house for fear that a neighbor’s pet or young child stumbles across that area), my roof repairs, and, when they get around to it, repainting the house. Well, when I say “they pay for them,” of course they get the money from my $350/month HOA dues…