I totally relate (Celtling is 2.5 too.). One thing that really helped was working a walk into our morning routine. Sometimes it’s just to the end of the cul-de-sac and back, but it really makes a difference in her overall demeanor. She just needs to be outside more than most kids.
I also understand the utter impossibility of looking for work while a toddler is tearing up the room around you. It can’t be done. Don’t be guilted by those who haven’t been through it, or have forgotten, or have superpowers we simply don’t possess. A couple of extra hours for her occaisionally is doable, but don’t make it in the morning (or do it every day) or the return to work will be horrid.
Re: the daycare, I absolutely expect to be informed when my daughter is especially upset, or having a hard time with something. Is it possible that they are just trying to let you know, and you adding the “come get her” from your own filter? Or did they actually say “please come pick up your child?”
And the pulling off the diaper is normal. Just wait until it’s full of poop and she swirls it around the playroom a few times! ::sobs::
I wish I could find a daycare that has the cameras. It would mean so much to me to be able to check out how she’s doing, especially after a bad drop-off like today. If I could see her laughing and playing I’d be a lot more productive!
Yeah, she gets a walk to school every morning. That’s how we get her there is walking.
She’s basically potty trained, but it’s like 97% potty trained, it’s that other 3% of the time that gets ya. So far no calls at 1PM. Hopefully she is doing well. Can’t check the cameras because it’s dark during naptime unfortunately.
Hopefully things will work out. I really do not need this added stress. I feel like every time I am about ready to get back to work, somehow she imposes herself on it. And we’ve got another one on the way.
Perhaps she doesn’t like being away from home so much? We’re the opposite of you in that we’ve made big sacrifices to keep our 2 yr old son out of daycare. My wife and I changed our work schedules so they don’t overlay, she purposely works less hours for a $40K/yr loss, and we get a lot less time to ourselves. We do this because we feel the best* place for a toddler is with a parent.
And there are other ways for kids to learn interaction and socializing. My wife takes him to two different mom-baby groups most weeks. We take him to childrens museums and similar where he plays with random kids. But I doubt a 2 year old needs lengthy daily socializing with other kids.
*I have absolutely nothing against daycares, if we needed to we’d put him in one. But for the exclusive purpose of socializing I think a few half days a week would be all the daycare a 2 year old could need.
I did, these neighbor sisters were like my own sisters (including the middle one being a bitch to her little sister and me, and the eldest being all responsible and stuff).
Another reason to have the kid in daycare: many daycare centers do not accept kids “at the parents’ convenience.” If the one mswas is using has this rule, they need to have the kid there normally, they can’t just send her in when both parents have a contract.
mswas, in my family’s criteria, 3% accidents is time for the diaper to get off and stay off. The Kidlet, his father and me all spent some time (from months to years) going to kindergarten/school with extra clothing in a pack, as we did have accidents. My brother was still having diurnal accidents at age 9 and nocturnal ones until 11.
I kept my older son in daycare while I was home on maternity leave with my second. He also went while my husband was laid off for a few months. There are lots of reasons for having a child in daycare.
Many daycares don’t let you just take your child in and out - they want a set schedule because they have to hire people based on the amount of kids they have. They can’t have people taking their kids out for a few weeks, then putting them back in. Your spot could get filled if you take a leave. Some have waiting lists…others make you pay for your ‘scheduled’ time whether your child is there or not. If there is a temporary change in schedule due to something like unemployment, often the easiest thing for everyone is to keep the schedule as normal as possible for the child. Otherwise they get used to being home every day with daddy, then he suddenly goes back to work and they have to get used to daycare all over again. Plus if you get an interview or side job, he is able to go and not have to scramble to find childcare.
As for the OP - I agree that it is odd that they expect you to come get her over a tantrum. I hear about this kind of stuff from our daycare at the end of the day, and talk to the director if it is an ongoing issue. But they don’t call to pick up unless he is sick or something. I could see if she was super disruptive maybe the other kids can’t nap, but don’t they have other older kids there who don’t nap anymore? What would they do when she got to be 3 or 4? Can they schedule ‘quiet time’ or something with art or puzzles or books? My son had quiet time like that for a year or 2 after his naps were done.
Well in all fairness they asked me to pick her up over a tantrum last time, but not this time. So it was just me fearing the worst, and it didn’t play out that way.
There is one other kid who never naps. It’s just that there isn’t much room for them to play during naptime. They do the quiet time, and mostly she seems to do ok.
Also, I can pay for daycare on a part time schedule but that’s not at my convenience, I have to have a set schedule, otherwise I have to pay for the whole thing, though I am welcome to take her out whenever I want, but I pay for the slot, regardless of whether or not she is there.
And the daycare requires her to be in a diaper as long as there are still accidents. I tried to explain to her that she needs to tell her teachers when she needs the potty. Hopefully it has sunk in. I’ll call them in an hour and a half to see how things went.
Apologies, I misunderstood your situation. I thought you had your child in daycare mainly just for purposes of socializing.
In any case, she’s two. Our 2 yr old is also very physical, active, goes without naps and is very strong willed. He gets an idea in his head (like I’m not wearing diapers) and it takes some persistent persuasion to change his course. Probably the daycare workers don’t have time for that kind of one on one attention so they just call you up to pick him up.
How about sharing with the daycare people any tips you have on getting your particular kid to behave.
Well, that’s why she was there yesterday and not home with me. But in general it’s because we need to work. That I have been having trouble GETTING work is a side issue.
I’m working on trying to figure that out. Hopefully the talk I had with her last night made an impression. I talked to her about it several times throughout the evening, and this morning before she went to school. Hopefully she remembered it at nap time. I’ll call in about half an hour to find out.
I completely agree with you. My 3-year-old just started preschool this fall and at first when I came to pick her up a common comment from the teacher was, “She took all of her clothes off again today and we had a hard time convincing her to put them back on!” But it was presented as amusing, not as a problem. After a couple of months, she is much better about keeping her clothes on! But it is completely normal at this age.
It seems unreasonable to expect a 2-year-old to be quiet for 3 hours if the child has outgrown naps. I would hope the daycare would be able to come up with an alternate option for non-nappers.
I think a daycare should be able to take care of normal 2-year-old behavior without having to involve the parents.
You have to look at this from the flip side as well. Suppose the daycare has a list of applicants? If I’m running a business and can afford to be choosey, why not? Why should I the daycare owner put up with a child that is less than perfect, if in two seconds I can replace that child with one that is better behaved.
Now that sounds cruel but in reality daycare is a business. And different daycare centers have different standards. We hate to think of little children still developing as being mearly tools or such but in reality they are.
When I had my business I gave a “free interview” to all clients. Why? Not to be nice, or anything, because a lot of these people were simply not worth it. So I weeded them out for free rather than start and return the money when they frustrated me to no Earth’s end.
I don’t have kids so I know nothing of daycare and I’m not critical of the mom or the child, I’m just saying remember to look at both sides. Not all businesses need every client, especially if there is a list of children waiting to get in. So why put up with what you don’t have to?
That won’t solve the problem but it may at least help you understand why the daycare center employees act like they do
I’m curious about what kind of diapers your girl wears. Are they the usual that wick away moisture and keep her feeling dry even when she pees in them?
If the daycare hasn’t specified what kind of diaper, might I suggest either the ones that make her feel wet when she goes in it, or even cloth diapers? She’ll fix up that 3% right quick if she gets wet feeling and no longer has the “security” of the daycare diaper that I’m betting she doesn’t wear at home.
That is pretty insulting to the OP without further knowledge. Kids are called kids for a reason rather than adults because they go through stages and throw fits and tantrums sometimes. A day-care is a lot more similar to a psychiatric ward than it is to a country club and the staff should have to deal with that within reason. It is possible to have a truly disruptive child that shouldn’t be in day-care but there is no indication of that from what I have read. There is also such a thing as a mismanaged and lazy day-care provider so there isn’t any good way to tell. In my state, day care providers have to be licensed and trained so it is a commitment as well as business.
But all things being equal, if the daycare has the opportunity to take on a kid who is easy and rarely has temper tantrums, wouldn’t they prefer that to the one that has tantrums more often?
Yeah, it’s neither a lousy daycare nor is my daughter particularly a problem child.
I should think that it’s not very good business for a daycare to get rid of a child that is just a little bit on the hyper side of normal. It could lose you other business too. I’m friends with at least half of the other parents there and if they didn’t approve of such a decision they might choose to alter their business relationship too. So acting like it’s purely a seller’s market like Markxxx implied just doesn’t really reflect the reality.
Were I in your shoes I would look into a cooperative preschool. She’d still have a ton of friends and be getting the socializing aspect you like. She’d not be there all day, so there wouldn’t be the naptime issue.
The one The Boy goes to is a lot of work, but I find it very satisfying, and he loves it.
(having said that, the rule is kids can’t be naked. The rules are: Keep it Safe. Keep it Friendly. Keep your underpants on)
Yes, but once they’re in, it’s very difficult and bad publicity to kick one out without a mountain of paperwork to show that he tried to murder the caretaker.
They have to be able to deal with the biter and the kicker and the non-napper and the picky eater. It’s a “garden for children,” not a “garden for cherubs.”
