What should I look for/ask about when visiting a daycare?

In My Humble Opinion
1

It’s looking very much like we’re indeed going to procreate. Since husband and I both work, we’re probably going to put the little one into daycare, potentially starting at 3 months. (We will also try to get someone we know and trust who needs extra cash to look after the squab instead for at least a little while, but as people like that may not be thick on the ground, daycare might be the affordable option.) I just set up our first appointment to visit a day care (recommended by a co-worker, who has both her kids there) for next week. Even though I don’t even know what the sex of the kid is yet, apparently the waiting times are long enough that I need to start looking into it now.

What do we need to ask about/notice while I’m there? Both our moms were very firm about asking what they do with infants (how often they pick them up, are they able to do any sort of “activities” with them… though don’t infants usually just sleep? what kind of activities can they really do? If I were home with it our activities would be things like “go to the grocery store,” I imagine) – they don’t really want us to put the squab in daycare at all. And I am told I should ask about how they screen the daycare workers. What else? Neither of us knows much about babies and have no idea what we need to ask to make sure they will take really good care of our kid, which is obviously going to be really important to us.

I do know the rates, hours, and possible part-time solutions (if at all possible, we’ll try to work less than 40-hr weeks and do daycare 3 days/week, but we haven’t told work yet, so who knows if that will actually happen), so that’s one less thing to ask.

Also, how do I go about confirming they have a daycare license? They have a license number; what do I do with that to confirm they aren’t making it up? (Not that I think they are, but just wondering.)

2

I used to run a family operated day care home. Licensed and all, and you might want to look in to that. When the Boy was little, no day care facility would take a child under 6 months old. I took kids of all ages, took care of them like they were mine (the “grocery store field trips” included). Took the little ones to pick up the bigger ones at school. We talked about things like “red ones” or “round ones” or “two of”, but there was NO “curriculum” and NO lesson plans. We grew a raised bed veggie garden. I had some of the same kids for YEARS. I hope it was the next best thing to being home with their own moms.

3

Day care teacher of 7 years here.

Forget about asking what they do with babies and start thinking long term. Your kid isn’t going to be there for just one year, presumably, and you’re not going to want to put the kid in a new day care every year. Make sure you ask about the other age groups as well. That’s where most of the difference will be found. That is, every day care cares for infants the same way- feed, change, put down for naps, etc. But do the toddlers get a lesson? Any classes? What’s the outside vs inside? How much is TV limited? Are there field trips? Those are the reasons our parents love our day care and avoid the competition as much as possible.

If you check up on their license, that should take care of your qualification concerns regarding the teachers. It proves they have clearances, TB shots, mandatory training, and other things. Other than that, you could ask what their education level and experience is.

What else would you like to know about it, specifically? Honestly, a good day care is like a good mechanic; you won’t know until you try it, but your friends usually have good advice.

4

In my opinion it’s the state agencies you ought to be starting with, as they have all the info on any particular place you may be looking at.

My state (Texas) has a page on its Dept. of Family and Protective Services that offered a comprehensive database of all the childcare providers it licenses or supervises, including both home-based and daycare centers. Info includes history of any violations or inspection issues.

For some reason the site appears to be down at the moment, but you might try later to see what I’m talking about:
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child_Care/ppFacilitySearchDayCare.asp

and of course look for a corresponding service in your own state.

Safethy was my number one thing when our kid was a baby: I read up on baby dangers and then I would walk all around the place (especially for home-based) and see if there was anything notable. (One home-based caregiver had books and crap piled high on tables where they could easily fall onto a kid’s head, not to mention the bottles of bleach sitting out on the kitchen floor and the exposed electrical sockets.) I insisted that the caregivers be fully up to date on infant CPR and know what to do in a choking emergency. (Hint: it’s not to jam your meaty adult fingers into the baby’s airway to try to fish out whatever she’s choking on, as one lady told me.)

5

In some states, mine for example, this information is provided by your local Community Action office. They also have info on current openings, which is pretty valuable.

I’m probably biased because I had a couple great ones as a child and then provided an early literacy program for half a dozen more who were also excellent after college, but if I have a baby, I’ll strongly consider a home-based daycare provider over a center. Which isn’t to say that there aren’t great centers - I really liked the Community Campus center in Portsmouth - but I found that the kids (and myself as a kid…I have not so fond memories of two different daycare centers my parents used too) were happier in home-care settings.

So, good questions to ask are what sort of environment will this type of care vs that provide. I’d ask potential centers and home-care providers that point blank, actually, “What advantages do you think you provide over ___?” They should be able to give you realistic answers, like a center provides greater reliability because a caregiver being sick or on vacation won’t leave you in the lurch like home-based care will, and that home-based care offers a smaller staff-to-child ratio (unless they hire assistants, which a couple did) etc. If they can’t answer simple questions, I’d be alarmed by that given they’re things they ought to have thought about.

6

For infant daycare at a facility find out:

-Do they provide formula or do you have to supply it? The stuff is expensive and if they supply it it’s definately a plus.
-Do they supply crib sheets? Also again a plus if they supply them and launder them. Kind of a pain if you have to haul laundry back and forth.
-How sterile/clean is the infant area? A babies first year means they get sick a lot and a clean/sterile area is always better. Do they mop floors daily? Are there sinks in the immediate area so employees wash their hands often? Do they make you remove your shoes before entering the infant area?
-What is their policy on turning sick kids away? They should have a set of rules in place on when a kid is sent home or refused. Plus is that it keeps the area healthier by turning away the sick kids. Negative is that if your kid is sick they won’t take him in for 48 hours.

7

This is totally awesome. Thanks so much! Reading your responses has made me even more keenly aware of how little I know about this (infants getting sick? safety?? eek!)… so I really appreciate the help!

I hadn’t thought much about a home based provider, partially because I had no idea where to look (so thanks for the tips!) and partially because my mother-in-law is kind of set against them… I guess when my sister-in-law had her kid they went to go see one of these places which had a bunch of infants just lying there, and it kind of left a bad taste in her mouth because she thought they weren’t being paid enough attention. But clearly they’re not all like that! So I will look into that a little more.

This particular day care does do preschool-like activities for older kids, but I wouldn’t’ve thought to ask about it – now I definitely will. I don’t (yet) have anything specific in mind (my own memory of preschool is pretty hazy), but maybe I will once I see the place.

8

I agree that you should also think long-term and ask how they decide when an infant is ready to transition to a different, “higher-level” room, such as an infant room to a room for crawlers (called a transition room at the place we take our son) to a room for toddlers, two-year olds, etc.

Also, you might want to ask how each room or the daycare is structured. In other words, where we take our son, there’s usually a primary teacher who has a significant amount of childcare experience and/or education and a teacher’s assistant - usually with some, but not a ton of childcare experience, possibly a part-time student or someone else just looking for work and who enjoys working with children. This probably won’t be all that important until your child gets older, but it’s good to know who’s probably going to be paying the most attention to your kid and/or will be caring for them the most closely.

Definitely take the time to talk to the people who will care for your kid. When choosing our son’s daycare, I looked for people who I felt would communicate well with me, ask or tell me directly if they needed something or thought something might be wrong and who I observed spending time with all the kids and actually interacting with them.

It’s also good to know what sort of schedule they have the kids on. When are their naps, what do they do when they’re not sleeping or eating and how often do they change diapers? Do they have a policy on cloth diapering (some won’t allow it) if you plan to do that? What about breastmilk - can you bring that in?

Also, I would recommend looking for someplace that doesn’t care if you drop in unannounced. Yeah, if you want to talk to the director, you should probably make an appointment and for older kids, dropping in unannounced can really screw up their schedule, but if they strongly discourage infants’ parents stopping by to see how their kid is doing, that should be a red flag.

Another thing I liked about my son’s daycare was that they had pretty decent security. Not that I expect someone will come in and steal my kid (I don’t want him on lock down or something), but most of the teachers know the parents on sight and it’s a requirement at the daycare that someone is always at the front desk to greet people as they come in. I liked that because one daycare I visited, I was able to just waltz in past the front desk to the babies’ room where no one was on duty. No one asked me why I was there, who I was or if I even needed help. I just breezed right on in and found myself standing in the middle of the babies’ room. I could easily have just walked out with a kid or two if I’d wanted.

9

I’d visit three times before you make a commitment - at dropoff, midday, and at pickup. Watch how the turnovers occur. Don’t just watch the babies, babies are easy (‘he didn’t drink all his formula and he pooped three times’) pay attention to toddlers and preschoolers to.

I’d also decide what you want in a daycare. Some people like the homey feeling of a home daycare. Some like the completely secular and corporate “Kindercare” world (we did, and loved it - I’m not saying secular and corporate as insults - it means you’ll have certain procedures followed and your kid won’t come home saying Daddy is going to go to hell because he hasn’t accepted Jesus Christ - at least, if he does, he’ll have gotten it from the other kids and most likely not the teachers). The other advantage to a corporate center for us was that their days off, their sick days, their vacations - they weren’t OUR problem - the center covered those days by moving staff around.

Pay attention to the kids and the parents that use the daycare. There isn’t a right answer here, but is diversity (racial and economic) important? Are you trying to avoid the Coach purse and BMW set? Are you trying to avoid the “three kids, three babydaddy” set? These are going to be the kids you see at birthday parties and playdates - and while you might be aghast that someone might stereotype or make those judgments now, when its your kid you’ll discover that maybe the values being lived at little Timmy’s house aren’t the ones you are really excited about a three year old copying.

10

These are really good points, thanks! I am totally taking lots of notes to take with me…

(Dangerosa, one thing that has bothered me a bit, though I feel a little guilty about it: I’m not actually sure that I want to hang out with that particular co-worker (who recommended this particular daycare) that much, which might happen more if I had my kid at the same place. I mean, she’s a nice person… we just have nothing in common.)

11

You won’t really hang out with her - or that isn’t likely. There might be a couple of playdates, in a couple of years, but that will depend on her kids ages and yours and how they get along - its more likely that you’ll have playdates with other people. And it really isn’t that micro level I’m talking about - most adults can make enough small talk with their kid’s friend’s parents to get through (hint, don’t mention anything controversial, stay away from religion, politics, gay marriage, and whole language - the last is a joke if you don’t understand now, you will in six or seven years).

Its more the values thing. As early as three or four, my daughter was being exposed brand snobbery by one of her daycare classmates. I’ve met a parent or two (this happens more when they get older and can bring back stories) where the homelife was a mess (“Samantha gets to ride in cabs all the time!” Oh…“Yeah, her daddy goes out on dates and takes her along and they go to bars and her daddy gets too drunk and they all need to take a cab back. Then Samantha gets to sleep on the couch in the basement!” (thank god at least this story involves cabs and a positive spin on what a child’s experience with Daddy’s hook ups are). The friend my son had in first grade whose parents thought rated R movies were appropriate for a playdate with someone else’s six year old.

12

We tried a home-based daycare and were not entirely satisfied. This ws a reputable, licensed service, not just someone at home, but they simply were not on the administrative ball. Errors happened constantly, and we were several times surprised to find out we had no daycare on one day or another because someone was on vacation and we had not been informed. The Small One also seemed happier and learned faster at a centre.

So I went shopping for daycares and looked at every one in the area. What you want’s up to you but here’s what I was looking for:

  1. Comfort level with the facility and staff, obviously. This is up to you.
  2. Accessibility. You’ll have to bring the kid there every day, so you do not want a place TOO far out of the way.
  3. Price. I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned this. Money matters. Some places are obscenely expensive and offer things like constant video access via Internet and celebrity authors doing readings. Don’t waste your money. Spend an appropriate amount.

A lot of the rules people have mentioned - rules limiting the people who can pick up a child, rules for dealing with sick children, for the stuff the child should be equipped with - should just be givens. A day care centre that’s lax about such things should not be an option. It suggests a lack of organization and due diligence.

And don’t worry about hanging with the other parents and their kids. I don’t know the name of a single parent in my kid’s class. The Small One’s best friend is a kid who doesn’t go there.

13

Do you intend to breastfeed your baby after three months? In that case, ask if they will accept either frozen or fresly pumped breastmilk, or if you can come over and breastfeed your baby (if the distance to your workplace allows it).

Do you want a daycare close to home, or close to (either one of your) workplaces? If you think long term, a daycare close to the kids home or kindergarten would be best.

Also, make agreements with your husband who drops the baby off and who picks her up. If you take the baby to the daycare in the car, you will need a kiddieseat for both your cars. Takign it out of the car ant placing it in the other car is too much of a hassle to do dayly.

14

One of the things I value is some consitancy in care.

If you are going for a home, try and get a feel if your daycare provider is in this for the long haul, or is just looking to stay home with their own kids while they are little (and the youngest is already three and a half). Or wants to stay home with their own kids and just started (a lot of people discover they aren’t cut out to be daycare providers).

If you go for a center, get some idea of the turnover. New staff every few weeks doesn’t really lead to a consistancy of care.

15

Myself and most people I talk to agree that having a choice of wheter the daycare is close to home or close to work, they prefer it to be closer to home.
It seems to work out better in situations where you may get out of work early and want to go home and do some chores before having to pick them up.
Or if you have the day off of work but still want to take them in so you have a free day to run errands or do projects.
And the added flexibility of either parent being able to pick them up without having to go out of their way.

16

Oh, yeah, more good points! This one is about the closest I know of, though we’re probably going to move before the baby comes so I guess we’ll have to keep that in mind as well when we look at places to move to. I think I’m breastfeeding (another whole issue… people keep asking me this and I’m all, “uh, I guess?”) so I’ll have to check into that. I had not thought about baby seats at all (and yeah, we will probably be in that situation where one of us takes the kid and the other picks up), or about turnover makes more notes

Wow, people actually pay for celebrity authors? For a six-month old baby??

17

This sounds a little strange, but ask if their employees get paid sick leave.

People who do not get paid sick leave are far more likely to show up sick. And guess who gets it next?

Ask about teacher:student ratios (at all levels, not just the babies). Ask about what age they go up to - can you keep the kid there until kindergarten, or do you have to move him at age 3? Ask about potty training methods. Do they have little kid-sized toilets in the toddler rooms?

(OT: If you’re thinking about breastfeeding, check and see if your hospital offers a breastfeeding class. It can make a big difference to have some idea ahead of time about things like positions and typical feeding patterns. Also, before you have the baby, look for a lactation consultant you like, and put her phone number somewhere you can find it, just so you’ve lowered the bar for what you need to do to ask for help later.)

18

I would ask about staff turnover. Our daughter (almost 4) loves her daycare, and we love its principles, but there has been a lot of staff turnover this past year, and it’s been hard on her.

Even though we appreciate and trust our daycare, the first year especially was VERY hard for us (mom and dad - kid was fine). Listen to your gut - during your visits and after you place your child there. Good luck!

19

The smell of a place can tell you a lot about the sanitary practices therein. The nose knows.

20

OK, we met with them this morning and I was very impressed – without prompting the owner told us/showed us the answers to almost all the questions I’d written down from your comments to ask (and I asked the couple she left out; thanks Dopers!!) – and that gets points from me, that she knew what concerned parents were likely to want to know about. I also noted (which I might not have otherwise) that the kids and caretakers seem to be pretty diverse, thanks for that tip.

I was also rather impressed by the facilities, although the day care lucked out in that all the babies were smiling and happy while we were there. I told my husband (after seeing the babies all happy and interested) that our kid would likely prefer going to the day care than having either of us as a stay-at-home parent! (“Yeah, kid, here’s another peanut, be quiet while Mommy finishes coding.”) We’ll continue to look around for the next couple of months, though.

Another question, if I may: let’s say that we (subject to work approval) are able to put the kid in care for three days a week and can stay home with it for two. What would be easier for the kid to cope with, having those three days be all in a row (e.g. TWTh) or alternating (e.g. MWF)? I think it would definitely be easier for us to do the former, but I worry that it might be harder on the kid, who might have culture shock twice a week? Or will kids pretty much deal with anything as long as you follow the weekly schedule fairly consistently?